So what’s going on here? I saw there was an accident in the Gulf of Mexico (an explosion above the water, so technically not in my jurisdiction) and there is an oil leak. So I’m like, “Well, I’m sure the professionals at BP and the Obama administration will get this handled right away.”
And more than forty days later… what the hell?
Just the other day, I heard distress above me, so I surfaced in the Gulf… and of course was all covered in oil. And then Black Manta set me on fire. Is this just the way it’s going to be now?
I’m trying to figure out who to complain to, and the Obama administration says they’re in charge of everything, but it’s BP trying all the solutions except their solutions are things like have robots drop a box on it or pour mud on it — the sort of things a three-year-old would come up with when faced with a similar situation.
And I hate to bring it up, but what are you doing drilling out in deep water anyway? What’s wrong with drilling on land? Yeah, I know: You all live on land so you don’t want to drill there. “Let’s drill in the ocean,” you all say. “No one we care about lives there.”
You know there are like five hundred land-based superheroes, but only me for the oceans — for two thirds of the planet. Well, there’s also the Namor the Submariner, but he’s not usually very helpful. And kind of mean.
Anyway, my point is I deserve more respect than that. My domain is not your oil dumping ground. And if you have some big oil leak into it, I at least expect you to try and stop it… or at least make a realistic effort at it. This is what depresses me and makes me feel like I get no respect, but I don’t see any of you even stepping up to pay for my therapist.
Next time you’re hassled by pirates, don’t call me. I’m through. Enjoy your oil.