Hello, Aquafans!
As you may have heard, Wonder Woman is going to start wearing pants.
Finally.
Do you know what was the first thing I said to Wonder Woman upon meeting her? “Where’s your pants?” I thought perhaps the first case for the Justice League was going up against some villainous pants-stealers. I’m sorry, but fighting evil requires pants. That’s just a basic fact. And as a superhero, if you ever get seen without pants, expect to end up in a tabloid. Really, I wonder who gave Wonder Woman the idea that she could get any respect running around in a bathing suit. She should have changed her name to “Not Much Left to Wonder About Woman.” I guess growing up surrounded by Amazons gave her daddy issues.
And while we’re finally changing things that were a long time coming, Clark Kent’s disguise of just taking off his glasses — come on. Who is that possibly fooling? And why is he still working at a newspaper? Superman might as well have his day job be that he’s a blacksmith. Plus, if you have God-like powers, why would anyone be a journalist? Do stuff; don’t write about other people doing stuff.
And Batman, how about a mask that covers your entire face if you think hiding your identity is so important. “Hmm, I wonder if Batman, who has all these expensive gadgets, could be the eccentric billionaire who lives nearby and HAS THE EXACT SAME CHIN.” I don’t bother to hide my identity because I don’t have anything to hide (oh, if Black Manta is reading this, please don’t murder my family), but if I did, I wouldn’t half-ass it. Oh, and Batman, what’s with the patrolling the streets of Gotham and hanging out with the Justice League? One day you’re beating up muggers and the next you’re fighting aliens. PICK A VILLAINY GENRE! You don’t see me fighting the Ocean Master one day and the next day handing out parking tickets.
I swear, every other superhero than me is stupid. And they also can’t talk to fish.
These are all very important issues. No wonder Aquaman can’t focus on the oil spill. That and the fact that talking to fish, and swimming really fast probably have very little uses in plugging the hole. Not unless he could get a whale shark to swim into the gap.
Frank, what’s with his green legs – WITH NO PANTS ?!
Pants on Wonder Woman?! Why don’t they just put her in a burqa and be done with it.
Why?????????? Why does she have to wear pants? Why?????????? The less, the better. Why not put pants of Superman? Or Batman? Or Cat Woman? Why do people mess with the natural order of things. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
Dick O’Kane, Gunther Prien, John Holland, and Marko Ramis were all cooler than this guy.
Is Wonder Woman getting pants because Aquaman wants his skirt back?
sure, pants. *Hotpants!* really, really tight hotpants!
I’m with Cilla. Giver her a burqa and be done with it. Did Lynda Carter wear pants? No! And neither will I until this issue is resolved.
Well, there you have it, the final proof that Aquaman is gay. While straight guys everywhere spend their time trying to get hot girls out of their pants, Aquaman is upset and wants them put back on.
I think you’re on to something, Son of Bob. Wonder Woman in long pants? A Travesty. I think Aquaman’s jealous that her legs and manlier looking than his.
I really hate it when people start messing with the super hero universe. Superman’s Clark Kent costume is awesome. I mean, as soon as Superman puts on those glasses, I find myself saying “Hey, Clark, what happened to Superman? He was here a moment ago. Did you see where he went?” Friggin’ genius, that costume is.
I mean her legs ARE manlier than his. DOH!
Cmon guys. give our fish-chatting freind a break.Hhis normal summer vacation swimmin’ spot has been Obamasized and covered in oil. Wonder |Woman in pants? What’s next, James Bond played by Daniel Craig?
Burqua Woman. hehehe She hits you with a flying camel saddle.
No Storm1911, the liberal “dream” movie would be for James Bond to be played by Johnny Depp, doing the same gay character he seems to do in every movie these days, and of course, there would be a character named Penis Galore.
“What’s next, James Bond played by Daniel Craig? ”
Well, he’s a lot better then Roger Moore. I hated that smirk on his face. I always wanted to see him get punched in his smug face. Especially after Moonraker. For me to want Bond, James Bond punched in the face is big.
Of course, Marko Macuso, er, I mean, the guy who played Raimus in Hunt For Red October, Sean Connery, is by far the best Bond.
It seems that Aqua Man is wearing a special Nuke the Moon leotard. Where can we get ours? I need to adjust my wardrobe now that I’ve stopped wearing pants.
Good post. In defense of Superman, a lot of people have hobbies you wouldn’t expect them to have. I’ll bet Aquaman has a huge model train set in his garage, with an accurately-modeled Bavarian town in it.
Son of Bob and Proud Infidel…LOL Great stuff. Connery, Dalton, and Brosnen (?) played Bond as the Queen’s royal hired killer and smart ass with class.. Moore was the court jester, And Crsig like a punk. Bond ain’t blond.
It would be fun to see Aquaman and Batman punk Superman. Paint a rock with day-glo green paint and toss it at him. Watch the super hero hijinks ensue.
Believe me when I tell you it’s about time WW put some G-D**n pants on. She’s been around since 1941 and if it wasn’t for massive amounts of plastic surgery and Botox she’d look exactly like a combination of Wonder Warthog and Helen Thomas. Her flabby thighs and knobby knees were hardly complimented by those hot pants she’s been wearing all these years. Once cutting edge they sadly went out of style in the late seventies along with disco music, and lava lamps. Good God, only cheap streetwalkers in Seattle wear those things anymore! Sure, sure, I know you’re thinking to yourself…but she was once on the cover of Ms Magazine, wasn’t she? The answer is yes she was…but that was then and this is now and for her…pants are long overdue and I should know……Harry G. Peter
Infidel is right. Roger Moore was a smug Britisher the likes of which hadn’t been seen since Monty launched Market-Garden.
Connery forever. Scots Wha Hae taken an Englishman’s role.
Proud Infidel: You are right. In my humble opinion Sean Connery was the only Bond. Nobody played Bond better than him.
One of the best Bond lines from arguably the best Bond film (Never Say Never):
“I am to eliminate all free radicals.”
It’s hippie-punching taken to a higher level.
Don’t tell Wonder Woman What to Wear.
Another Comic book Icon set to be ruined by a ‘gritty’ reboot. But hey, Aquaman, you know about that right? You’ve been through like 3 or 4 of your own so far, right? Still, cool T-shirt, dude!