Frank J. Around the Internets

Jim Treacher asked me to guest post at the DC Trawler, and I agreed to do it in exchange for one of Tucker Carlson’s old bow ties. So go read my post about the possibility of a primary challenge to Obama.

A New Democrat Strategy

Instead of just running against Bush, the Democrats have a new strategy to tie the GOP to the Tea Parties. So the Democrats really think everyone will be like, “Oh no! They’re going to cut government! I’m going to vote for more awesome Democrat leadership!”

As for the GOP, I think their strategy will be to tie Democrats the current state of the country. They’ll say to the American people, “The Democrats have controlled Congress for four years and been completely in charge for two, and just look at the country. LOOK AT IT!!”

And the American people will break down sobbing and be like, “No! Don’t make us look at it!”

And the GOP will be like, “LOOK AT IT!!!!”

And the American people will be like, “Please! We’ll vote for you! Just don’t make us look at it!”

What exact horrible thing are the Democrats going to claim the Tea Party is going to do? Nuke their own country, because that’s still not quite the level of devastation the Democrats have already wreaked upon us.

Is Science! Just Pushing Us Around?

Has Science! become more authoritarian causing people to distrust it? Apparently in Science! reporting, there has been a sharp increase in the use of the phrase “Science! says we must”, and people are beginning to feel that Science! is just pushing them around. And here are some other phrases that have increased in recent years in Science! reporting:

* Science! says we must

* Science! tells us we should

* Science! requires

* Bow down before Science!

* The power of Science! compels you

* Blaspheme to Science! will be noted and punished

* Science! demands your obedience and loyalty

* Do you dare speak before almighty Science!

* Kneel before Science!

* Science! shall crush you

* Foolish mortal! How dare you question Science!

* You have angered Science! and will pay dearly for it

* Science! wants a sammich. Get it a sammich! Now!

* All Science! wants is a hug

Random Thoughts

Still getting birther e-mails. I can’t believe people are ignoring the 12-point buck standing in front of them to hunt snipe.

Ever notice in addresses from the Oval Office how Obama now has a tip jar on his desk? I don’t know if that’s appropriate.

If they do a movie about Charlie Rangel, Harvey Fierstein already has the voice down.

I like it when liberals have jobs because that’s the only way we can contort their statements to get them fired.

Writing a column on how to solve the issue of race. Decided it was time I finally did something about it. You’re welcome.