Saw Eclipse over the weekend. SarahK loved it. For me, it was… brutal.

Remember when vampires and werewolves used to be cool? They were vicious supernatural creatures always attack people and each other, but now they just sit around and sparkle and talk about their feelings. Why did women have to do that to them? And why did we let them? What if women go after more of our cool stuff and do things like a remake of Die Hard called Has Feelings Hard? It’s like there’s a movement out there that won’t rest until everything is pale and effeminate.

It really does seem like our society is reaching its end, isn’t it? Economy is collapsing. Threats emerging everywhere. Oil spilling into the oceans unabated. Sparkly vampires.

A survey showed that conservatives are twice as likely as liberals to be strongly patriotic, which is kinda duh. To illustrate, look at what was a recommend diary on the Daily Kos on Independence Day. It’s best summarized as “Stupid wingnuts think America is so great, and here is why they’re wrong!” And remember the whole flag pin thing and Obama? He made a big show of not wearing a flag pin during the primary because being anti-patriotic is actually a plus to the far left. But in the general election, suddenly Obama had a flag pin as most Americans prefer to elect people who actually kinda like this country.

So what is a patriotic liberal? One who cuts himself?

Oil. Still leaking. Obama is still flopping around uselessly like a bird covered in oil. And now more and more people are talking about nuking the oil leak. I find the more desperate a situation gets, the more my crazy ideas become common wisdom.

So should we nuke the oil leak? Of course we should. The oil leak is our enemy. We nuke our enemies to teach them that being our enemy is bad.

And what are the possible downsides? None. Except that it might not stop the oil leak and then we’ll get radioactive oil spilled into the gulf. And maybe we’ll wake Godzilla. And then he’ll emerge from the Gulf covered in oil and catch fire and then we’ll have to deal with a giant flaming Godzilla.

But I’m in Idaho and very far from the Gulf so I’m willing to take these risks. Mr. President, it’s time to be all presidential and nuke the crap out of something. It’s what George Washington would do if he had nukes and knew what crude oil was.