lolbama! Part 45

This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


From Brad:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Luke:

From me (Harvey):


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Phreshone:

From Phreshone:

From Travelwise42:


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

That’s Obama with Russian President Dmitry Medvedev.

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Adventures in Babysitting

President Obama would like his daughters to eventually earn some money babysitting. It would be a good lesson for them to learn that it takes hard work to get money, but that would be the first step towards them rebelling against their father’s politics and joining a Tea Party. Still, I think a lot of people will jump at having Malia and Sasha babysit for them because they think that means the Secret Service will be there helping protect the kids. Yes, but they’re only tasked to protect the president’s daughters. If terrorists attack, they’ll toss your baby out to the terrorists as a distraction, saying, “Kill this baby instead!” Malia and Sasha would probably be against that — as any kid would — because I assume you don’t get paid in that situation. Terrorists ruin everything.

How to Stop Secrets from Leaking

With the leak of the tens of thousands of documents on Afghanistan, it kind of sounds like we have a problem in our government of people leaking secret documents. Here are some ideas to stop that:

* Cover random secret documents with Ebola virus. Then finding the leaker is as simple as seeing who is bleeding out his eyes.

* Have a guardian stand before our secret documents, making everyone answer three questions to prove whether he is worthy to see them.

* When the leaker brings the documents to the New York Times, then you grab him because you secretly shipped everyone there to Gitmo and replaced them with doubles (Paul Krugman is a goat in a suit).

* The cabinet we keep all the secret documents in: Put a lock on it.

* Stop handing out free secret documents at tours even though it gets the tourists really excited. Also, stop giving tours of secret document facilities.

* When the leaker is found, draw and quarter him and put each piece at one of the four corners of the earth as a warning to others. You may need air fresheners, because that could smell.

* Have a guy standing in the shadows smoking a cigarette watching everyone who learns government secrets.

* Never ever write anything secret down.

* For the people allowed access to secret documents, try to look for red flags in their backgrounds that show that they might not have the best interests of our country in mind, such as if they voted Democrat.

Frank J. and SarahK in “Extremist Protest”


Continue reading ‘Frank J. and SarahK in “Extremist Protest”’ »

Random Thoughts

I hear Paul Krugman is a good economist, but I think he’d make an even better muppet.

I don’t think I’ve ever been as excited for Election Day as I am this year. Because I’ll have a baby daughter then.

The election results should be interesting too, but meh.

Breitbart’s Plan:
Phase 1: Embarrass White House and NAACP
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: Slavery

Democrats are mad at Breitbart for wanting to bring back slavery because that was their original universal employment plan.

It should be noted, though, that only one of the two major political parties has always been against slavery.

I think it’s fair to say the members of the Journolist don’t understand all the ways it makes them look like moron, partisan hacks.

I am getting sick and tired of telling Lenny about the rabbits.

PROBLEM: Too few jobs.
FACT: Rich people create most jobs.
SOLUTION: Tax rich people!

There’s a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. At the end of a double rainbow are the millions of jobs saved or created by Obama.