“Lance Bass kicked off space flight” reads the headline, but the story is actually much less interesting than it sounds. It ends up he was kicked off before they launched, not while actually in space. When I first read the headline, I thought they ran into some problem with the air supply, and, if they could increase the supply by exactly the amount of air a Lance Bass would consume, the rest could survive.

“Lance Bass, we all drew straws,” the head astronaut told him, faking a somber mood, “And since I drew the longest one, I get to kick you off. You want to do this the hard way or the easy way.” He then smiled sinisterly. “Please choose the hard way.”

And the Lance Bass was like, “Yo, yo, yo! What the dealio?” (Or he wasn’t like that; I honestly don’t know what a Lance Bass sounds like. I’m just not “with it.”)

“It’s just the way things are, Lance Bass,” the astronaut answered firmly, carefully hiding his elation, “To have enough air supply, we either have to remove one Lance Bass or five albino mice. That’s one Lance Bass versus five rodents; which one is more fair?”

“You guys kick it old school!” was Lance Bass’s last words before being ejected out the air lock with an ominous thud.

I didn’t get much sleep last night.

About half of the entries from the debate that was going on in the comment section of my post “One Messed Up Chick” have disappeared. Plus, one comment I did delete (me just writing “test”) has reappeared. Haloscan had been flickering on and off for the last few days, so the most logical explanation is that a previous back-up copy of the posts was put into place, one missing the newer posts but including one older one. The less probable but more interesting explanation (and the one I choose to believe) is that we have angered God by our debate of atheism, and, in a show of His mighty wrath, He has smitten some comments from the face of the earth while resurrecting others. Please, O Lord! I bow before Your glory and beseech thee to leave the rest of our post unsmoten and to leave alone the deleted posts we wish forgotten! I shall burn an animal in sacrifice to appease Thy wrath! I hope You don’t mind if it’s stolen.

Anyway, though it is the policy of IMAO that we (meaning I) can delete comments for any reason, especially to just be mean, unfair, and to rewrite history in a more flattering light, I assure you I did not delete those comments and will see if there is some way to restore them. To summarize what was deleted, I believe we all ended up in agreement that you can’t prove or disprove that undetectable elves control our lives. Also, I think I decided to become an atheist in the end, but I can’t quite remember. I hope not, though, because it will be a lot of work. First, I’ll have to remove the crosses from my walls, get myself off the church mailing list, and remove the Jesus fish from my car (which, when I put it on there, I thought was the symbol for the band Phish). Also, the pope is stopping by for dinner next weekend, and you just know me being an atheist will put a damper on the evening. He probably then won’t let me try on the pope hat, and thus another one of my dreams will go unfulfilled.

UPDATE: All the forementioned comments have reappeared, but all of today’s comments have disappeared. And it has started to rain frogs. I made up one of those.

The Germans, trying to compensate for their harsh sounding language, are in a race with France to become the biggest wussies in the world in their actions. Schroeder is being super anti-war to try and do better in the polls with his cowardly populace while his opponent Stroiber has had to back off from being too pro-American. The article mentions that Germany is “a country with a deep pacifist streak.” Now, I had a public school education, so my knowledge of history is quite sketchy, but somehow I think I remember that Germany wasn’t always so pacifist. Yeah, and I think the time they took up arms wasn’t for a good cause like we would ask them now, but something that was… what’s that word… not good. Nah, I probably don’t know what I’m talking about.