I just saw one of those pro-Saudi commercials on Fox News, and damn that was surreal. You have all these great American politicians standing there next to the most evil looking A-rabs with their devil-beards and sheet-like clothing. Was it supposed to be a compare and contrast? Those Sauds looked so out of place, you’d think the pictures were made using photoshop. They could have stuck in a picture of Truman standing next to Darth Vader and I probably wouldn’t have noticed because it would have fit the theme so well. And what is the viewer’s reactions supposed to be? At one point, I nearly shouted out, “Watch out, Reagan! He’s right behind you!” but I doubt that was the intended response. Anyway, now I’m really scared of the Sauds and am going to lobby my congressman to kill them all. You hear that, Rep. Weldon? They better all be “regime changed” by November if you want my vote.
Archive of entries posted on 21st September 2002
Jackie Chan Will Kick All Our Asses in a Most Entertaining Manner
The entertainment industry wants to be given the right to hack into our computers to stop copyright infringement of their material. My opinion on the subject is that if musicians don’t want to get screwed, then they just shouldn’t try to express themselves artistically. Also, I think giving the entertainment industry special vigilante powers is bad precedent. First, it starts with David Bowie hacking into your PC, but what next? Will Alec Baldwin later be able to kick down your door with the entertainment industry SWAT team at his side and then search your home for copied videos? Will Arnold Schwarzenegger be able to beat up anyone who tries to imitate him (“I am Ah-nuld!”). Will P Diddy or whatever the hell you call that idiot be able to gun you down in the street for making an mp3 of one of his songs he stole from someone else? Artists are already deranged and violent people, and they should be given less power, not more. This is all a very bad idea, unless, of course, I become part of the entertainment industry. Then it would be pretty damn cool.
Guns Are Like Art, Except Not Useless
Mesa, Arizona Mayor Keno Hawker is proposing that confiscated firearms be sold in auction instead of destroyed. This shows that Hawker is a moral man, because destroying guns is wrong. Guns are cool looking, which makes them a work of art, and you don’t destroy works of art (unless it’s made by some hippy). Would you destroy the Mona Lisa just because it was confiscated from a criminal? And what about other things confiscated from criminals, do they ever think to destroy those too? Like, if a box of puppies was taken from a criminal cartel, would they just throw them all in a fire? No, the only item they do this to is guns, because there are evil people out there who hate freedom, hate America, hate themselves, hate their mothers, hate apple pie, hate humanity, and hate guns (and probably would throw puppies in a fire if they could). These hateful people should be routed out of office so that confiscated guns can be sold at auction and thus giving cheap guns to a needy populace and, along with it, love and happiness.