Just a few things I wanted to mention:
* I’m honored to know I have a number of military readers, some stationed overseas. Just because it doesn’t really come out in my parodies, I wanted to take a moment to say how proud I am to the see the job our troops have done in Afghanistan and Iraq and how they have conducted themselves. Didn’t think I could be any prouder to be an American, but I’m quite happy to find myself wrong.
* Just to make it clear, I live on your feedback. I especially like comments that say which part of the post you found funny. I also wouldn’t hate you forever if you told me what you didn’t find funny. Just don’t call me a wang.
* I’ve been having a desire to do some serious posts, probably inspired by Bill Whittle. I try to avoid that because, well, I’m just 23; what the fk do I know? Still, I always have these fantasies of things I’d say if I were president and had a national platform to speak from. They aren’t so much humorous as they are… well… undiplomatic. Anyway, I turn 24 soon, so maybe I’ll be old enough then.
* Many people seem to be mistaken into thinking that the name of this site is LMAO instead of IMAO. I guess I should be flattered by the mistake, but it would seem pretentious of me to name the site LMAO. Whether you LYAO or not is up to you; personally, I’ve never LMAO’d about anything I wrote. It would be weird if I did, because sometimes these ideas strike me at work, and, if I suddenly started LMAO’ing, they’d think I was insane.
For the curious, IMAO stands for… hey, look, a squirrel! What’s he got there? Is it a nut? I think it’s a nut. What the hell has he got! Oh st, he just looked at me. I don’t trust that thing. Maybe I should go out and shoot him. Then again, the neighbors might complain. I really need to invest in a silencer. I guess I could just hold an old pillow to the barrel, but then my backyard would be covered in feathers.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, thank for reading!
The US made the Rugby world cup today by beating Spain 58-13. It doesn’t matter much in the grand scheme of things, but I feel it’s worth mentioning. Give an actual essay a shot. It’s not like anyone aside from your usual haters will complain. I’ll probably just read it and think about it and not comment like I do with the rest of your stuff that I enjoy. Thanks for making websurfing fun…don’t eat me please.
cheers,
Dick
if I suddenly started LMAO’ing
Plus you wouldn’t have an ass…
An empty two-liter soda bottle, when fitted over the muzzle of a revolver, makes a good silencer for a single shot… kinda hard to aim through the green plastic though…
A big Idaho spud works for two or three, at times.
Works best on revolvers, though – which are hard to silence under the best of circumstances.
Better just to menace your neighbor with the dead squirrel, and hope they are too frightened to call the police.
About being to young to write seriously about important things: y’know how old James Madison was is 1776? 25. Alexander Hamilton? 21. Albert Einstein published his Relativity theory in 1903 at age 24. Okay, Einstein has an excuse, he was a frikkin’ genius. Hell, if Joan of Arc could talk people into following her in a revolution at the age of 15 I think you’re old enough to string a few insightful words together. Go for it, man!
Spork: Not that this changes your point or invalidates it but neither Hamilton nor Madison were significant players in 1776. Hamilton was in fact an adjuct to George Washington, I don’t know what Madison was doing. Both made their bones drafting and commenting on the Constitution and made their lasting reputations (particularly Hamilton as the first treasury head) in helping to create the actual system of government we still live in today. This process began to take place around 1787, 11 years after the date you mention which would make them older than Frank.
Here’s what I use for executing pests without getting the neighbors all excited:
Super Colibri
Through a Ruger Mark II they make a wimpy little “pop.” And they won’t cycle the action, you have to eject and reload manually. So aim with care or that damn rat will escape and spread his plague all over the damn place.
I always assumed IMAO came from starting to say “in my humble opinion” but then deciding humility was stupid and changing to “laughing my a** off” but then you were too stupid/lazy/ADHD/whatever to fix it. Yeah, I have weird connections, I know.
Doug, point taken. It was another ten years before Madison and Hamilton (and that 39 year old fogie John Jay) wrote the Federalist papers. I was just trying to pump up Frank. OK, ok, here’s one: Debbie Gibson wrote “Lost In Your Eyes” at age 17. (Not that it’s a decent song…it isn’t. But she did top the charts.)
IMAO- In My Arrogant Opinion?
Hmmm Alexander was a ripe old 33 and had conquered most of his ‘known world’.
Clock’s ticking Frank….
If you started LMAO’ing at work, they would think you’re insane? Well, we certainly wouldn’t want to leave THAT impression!
Crap, fields failed to get filled out again. I guess I should stop dictating replies to monkeys and do them myself.
Is it In My Assinine Opinion?
Gee, I always figured you were the reincarnated spirit of Mao Zedong. He lived from (1893-1976),and was the foremost Chinese Communist leader of the 20th century and the principal founder of the People’s Republic of China. And you just happened to be plagued with bad grammar (I MAO). But now that I found out that you have the head of a monkey, well, I’m going to have to rethink that.
My second guess was that you were claiming to be America Online (I aM America Online.) Which would be plausible what with the monkey head. But since AOL sucks, and you don’t, well, that can’t be true either.
That’s all I’ve got.
Save the Squirrels! We’re people, too. Well, not people, animals really, but we live and breathe and squeak and even vote on local issues.
Hi Frank =D I’ve been reading your site for awhile and I just wanted to let you know your “In My World” posts never fail to make me laugh out loud (actually most of your site makes me laugh out loud =).
Clearly we need a pole so IMAO readers can decide what IMAO stands for. I’m Monkey/Ape/Orangutan is my vote. In My Asinine Opinion should lose as Franks opinions are neither asinine or his (he must share his opinions with us).
When I started reading your blog way back when, you had a lot of gun posts. So I always thought IMAO stands for In My Armed Opinion.
Never argue with an armed blogger, is my motto.
Frank~ Your a wang.
MensaMan, what this “we need a pole”? Are you subtly trying to call Frank J. a wang?
I know this is a really old thread, but I read Meg Lee’s post calling you a wang, and I just wanted to say that she’s wong.
There. That takes balls.
How dare you call me a wang! I’ll ban you good!