Courtney asks:
What will it take to get you to link my site? Does it involve sexual favors?
Great question. I’ve been getting more stingy with my blogroll, as, in reality, I have little time to read other blogs and may reduce the size of the blogroll in the future to a more select list of blogs. That said, usually a prerequiste for being added to my blogroll is having a link to me on your main page, which you do not. Then again, you are pretty cute, so I think I’ll let that go and just take the sexual favors.
George S. asks:
Are there an infinite number of prime numbers?
Dear God, I hope not. As we all know, prime number are numbers that are only divisible by themselves and one, though one is not classified as a prime number because mathematicians just felt like being mean to it. Two is a prime number, and, since it divides half of all integers, it ruins all their chances of being primes. Plus, it like, “I’m the only even number that’s a prime. I’m so special.” F**k two. Two is an asshole.
Anyway, primes have always been somewhat a mathematical mystery, and no equation has ever been developed that describes their odd distribution. Perhaps they aren’t infinite, and do run out at some point, but some very large primes have been found, one’s so large that you’ve be like, “Wow, that’s a big prime? Are you sure you tried dividing it with seven.”
And they’d be like, “Yeah, dude, we did. That didn’t work.”
And, these primes being indivisible are utterly unstoppable. One day they may break from their world of mathematics and wreak havoc in ours, and nothing could destroy or reduce them. That’s why I’m trying to make up some new special numbers that are able to reduce primes. I’ve named them after the Three Stooges. Right now, most mathematicians won’t listen to me – some even have restraining orders – but we have to stop the primes before it is too late.
If you want to learn more about primes, John Derbyshire of National Review fame has written a book called Prime Obsessions, but I wouldn’t read it because reading about math is for geeks.
But it’s so interesting…
No, it’s for geeks, and Frank is cool.
Acidman asks:
I was gonna ask you a question, but I forgot what it was. Do YOU remember?
Yeah… I think so. Was it about macramé? No. Was it what are the standard features on the Hyundai Sonata? No, I don’t think that was it.
Now I remember! Your question was, “Where is my shirt?” The answers is it’s lying somewhere in your backyard.
Christopher M. asks:
Why do Liberals exist?
Just as there is a God and there is Satan, just as there is good and there is evil, just as there is happiness and there is misery, there are those who bathe regularly, have basic common sense, and aren’t whiny little bitches and there are Liberals.
And thus there ever will be Liberals, and our fight against them is never ending. Battles can be fought and won, but the war itself will never be over and can only be lost by us giving up the fight. Thus we must battle on every day in every action for the just cause, and take our pleasure not in our progress towards an ultimate victory, but in the fight itself.
Please keep the questions coming, <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMease, no nonsensical question, and I’m almost getting ready to say no questions that mention monkeys.
I hate monkeys.
Word. Smack that deuce.
Two? I don’t have a two. Go fish.
Do you have a jack?
Never before breakfast.
Soooo… is the greatest prime number called Optimus Prime?
You’d have to read the book to find that out… and then you’d be a geek.
You have defined a modern liberal as well as I have ever seen it defined. Bravo!
I’m going to snip it out of your blog and use it myself without attribution because I don’t know what IMAO means and it would only confuse people using an unknown and undefinable source like that.
I went over and gave Courtney some encouragement for you.
On another note, rather than stooping to lies to get Instapundit’s attention, I stooped to lyrically extolling his virtues, just as I did for Acidman a while back. Heh. Perhaps that will get more attention than my faux-Scrappleface item that pokes fun at Canada, etc.
Math Book = Geek
Education (ie reading about Math) = Success
Success + Geek = $$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$ = Laid
Laid = Cool
Therefore Math Book = Cool.
Great, now I feel like a slut. I feel so used!
Courtney 😉
“What will it take to get you to link my site? Does it involve sexual favors?”
Frank, why didn’t you just ask her what exactly she is offering? I mean, if her idea of a “sexual favor” is to cook, clean, and wash your clothes, that’s hardly a favor. I mean, women are already expected to do stuff like that.
And Optimus Prime IS the greatest prime number. Only a dork would go for Rodimus Prime…
Where does the Prime Directive fit into all of this? Does it supersece Optimus Prime?
I could answer that now, Joe foo’ the Marine, but that might make a great Frank Answers™ question for later.
Frank, I’m back, you and your cronies tried to hold me down once and I have resurrected! This time I come to post problems that I see in the world. Like how come when I go to McDonalds and ask for NO pickles, they either give me a lot of the other crap (like onions, mustard, ketchup)or they give me PICKLES…its all because of u liberals. Also, the reason I dont like pickles is because when u bite into the sandwhich and get a little piece of the pickle, it doesnt break off…it DRAGS all the way out along with ketchup/mustard or whatever else is on the burger and sometimes ur takin a chance of splash back and u get ketchup/mustard on you….Let me just explain that short pants on girls are sooo not attractive…first of all, short shorts are good, but capris or pants that come to the top of ur shoe, or any other crap like that…ummm NO definately not feeling it…we dont live in a time where seeing ankle is sexy…i mean this isnt the 1800’s or anything…so if its kinda cold, wear long pants, wear sweat pants, where anything that comes to or close to the bottom of ur shoe and if u dont want to then wear short shorts…just thought i would fill u in…Also because of YOU LIBERALS my mailman won’t give me mail!!! I went downstairs at my apartment complex to get my mail and the mailman was standing there with my mail in his hand and I asked if I could have it, he said “no, im not there yet” and he said that “he doesn’t know thats my apartment” LIKE I REALLY WANT SOMEONE ELSES MAIL!(unless there is a check) anyway, so I had to wait til he put the mail in the box, shut the box, then I had to take my key and get my mail out…and so i told him “Just cuz i went to high school and college and u didnt doesnt mean u have to be bitter” and now he delivers me JUNK MAIL…Well, for now I’m done, but I will be back, I have A LOT more to say but I hate long messages…and Frank, I hope you get my “check” in the mail muh hahahaha 😉 (not a threat, not a promise and not a guarantee, just some fun)
The Army keeps prime numbers well under control, Frank, so you don’t have to. Optimus Prime is already in the Ohio Army National Guard.
Frank J., you must be, what, 24? Do you know what the difference between 24 and 44 really is? I’ll tel ya: If some little hottie offered ME sexual favors to link to her site, I think I would have been done for the day. I mean, I wouldn’t have gone on writing stuff about prime numbers, etc. I’d be lining up some arrangements at the nearest Motel 6 (no, scratch that, Motel 6 is owned by the french) Holiday Inn. You silly younguns!
I didn’t exactly offer sexual favors, did I? I was just curious about the linking process.
:blinking innocently:
Courtney
There are infinite primes.
One way to find a new prime, is to multiply together all the prime numbers you found so far, then add or subtract one. The new number isn’t divisible by any primes you know of, so either it’s prime or divisible by a prime you hadn’t found yet. Repeat as many times as you like to find all the primes you want.
Okay, Courtney! I get it now. You’re just a tease, toying with our buddy Frank J’s affections! For shame! And to think, you might have been his muse, helping him reach new heights of hilarious blogging never before thought humanly possible!
I think you owe it to all the rest of us loyal IMAO readers to provide Frank J. with those sexual favors. Besides, me thinks the lady doth protest too much…
What I thought sexual favors were coming? How could she toy with my heart like that?
Ahh, I get all the sexual favors I need. Yeah, really. I’m not lying. Stop looking at me like I’m lying.
Frankly, Frank L, I think Courtney owes everyone at IMAO those sexual favors for what she did to Frank J. I can’t think of a reasonable sounding excuse as to why she owes us – but I won’t let that stop me.
Frank J, did you start getting all the sexual favors you need before or after you got a monkey for a head? Chicks seem to dig the monkey.
Wow, I like Brian’s thinking!
Stinki,
I am very disappointed with the direction this has taken –
mother will be too . . .
Love,
http://www.diablogger.com/archives/000277.html
Like most academics, I have an abnormal relish for complexity. Give me one hundred and one causes, a thousand interactions,
Mom is such a bigot against prime numbers.
Courtney gave me sexual favors “2” times. She’s a Prime Number.
Frank’s World
Even more Answers, plus links of the day and the top 10 reasons regular citizens should own assault rifles….
“Frank J, did you start getting all the sexual favors you need before or after you got a monkey for a head? Chicks seem to dig the monkey.”
Frank J + Courtney = Hot Monkey Love ?