Kitten’s Revenge

You remember the previous caption contest where a kitten was held up at gunpoint? Well this time he’s back, and he’s mad.

Come up with the best caption and you win a prize! What prize, you ask? I dunno yet. It will be a surprise for us both!

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  1. First, he came for the puppies,
    and I did not speak out,
    for I was not a puppy.
    Then, he came for the hobos,
    and I did not speak out,
    for I abhor hobo-ness.
    Then, he came for the capitalists,
    and I did not speak out,
    for I had no capital.
    Then, he came for me.
    Good thing I hit the rifle range while he was rounding up everyone else.

  2. Although the defense attornies would attribute the shootings to the neglect, ridicule, and shame of being the runt of the litter (as well as easy access to firearms); the corpse-cold truth was that Ashes just brutally hated pigeons.
    Damn you… slik-shlock! Damn you all…

  3. Ronald McDonald ground up my mother and cooked her into a quarter pounder with cheese. Now I’m gonna send that meatclown back to HELL!
    I must do as my master in Hell says and kill senator Feinstein!
    I guess it would have been more politically correct to kill the women and minorities first (Postal Dude from Postal 2)
    The gene pool is stagnant, and I am the minister of chlorine! (Another one from the Postal Dude from Postal 2. Damn good video game!)
    He does not know how to wipe, and the stench is killing me! I can’t take it anymore!
    DO AS WILLARD SCOTT SAYS AND CLEANSE THE EARTH!

  4. From “Dirty Kitty”:
    “You’ve always heard that cats can’t shoot. If you’re real lucky, that’s true. So you’ve gotta ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, PUNK?>”

  5. — What the cops never figured out, and what I know now, was that these kittens would never break, never lie down, never bend over for anybody. Anybody.
    — One cannot be betrayed if one has no people.
    — To a cop the explanation’s always simple. There’s no mystery to the street, no arch criminal behind it all. If you find a body and you think his kitten did it, you’re gonna find out you’re right.
    — Old McDonald had a farm, ee-aye, ee-aye, oh. And on this farm the cat shot some guys. Ba-da-bip, ba-da-bing, bang-boom.
    (can you tell I just watched “The Usual Suspects” – again?)

  6. Ping Tsunami

    Hurray! The Munuvians have their own blog! Our Benevolent Benefactor and Marvelous Mentor Pixy Misa has set up a group blog where all of Munuviana can babble expound on various inanities topics….. It’s very cool….. Elsewhere, Evil Minion Kevin is…

  7. “Must…get…the yarn ball…”
    “Look at all the pretty little children”
    “What’s my cover?” I ask. “You’ll be wearing this costume,” the boss says. “You’ve got to be kidding. I don’t know anything about being a kitten!” I says. “Damn it, you’re a CIA agent and you will adapt and do your duty,” he says.

  8. Lieutenant Exley was already a jaded man. His father had been gunned down by a purse snatcher as a young child. His commanding officer had metamorphosed into a cynical personification of corruption. He had forgotten why he had become a cop.
    Still, not even he could have guessed the true identity of Rollo Tomassi . . .

  9. They’d done real good at erasing my life. My family was long gone, my friends wouldn’t recognize this new face even if I could talk to them. Their training, their damned training…
    All leading up to this. A windowsill, a moment to watch and wait. One person to remove, and the whole filthy scheme would topple like a house of cards.
    For this I’d lost my face, my life. For this one moment. After this was done, I’d be empty. For now, I was a monster. The only difference between the two was three pounds of pull and the pause between two breaths, two heartbeats, two blinks.

  10. “…And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. “
    (–Siamese L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction)

  11. Can’t…hold…rifle…properly! Can’t…pull…trigger! Damn you, lack of opposable thumbs!
    OR
    Double-sided tape on the paws. Yeah…that was funny. REEEEEEAL funny. Who’s laughing now, boyo?! Who’s laughing now?!!!!

  12. “Could you put up more of a fight next time? I’m getting bored.”
    or
    “Did you see that coming? ‘Cause I sure as hell did!”
    or
    “Don’t move around so much–it spoils my aim.”
    or
    “Gee . . . what a surprise. It was loaded after all!”
    or
    “And that wasn’t even a full can of whoop-ass!”
    or
    “Now play dead. Good doggie.”
    or
    “You go down faster than a drunken prom date.”

  13. Funnies

    Some of these you may have seen before, but I’m sharing them anyway. Just some amusing and disturbing pictures to lighten your day. ^_^ Tunes: “Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll”, Ian Dury and the Blockheads; “From Now On”,…

  14. A Joker Stops Laughing

    Frank J, if IMAO (“Unfair. Unbalanced. Unmedicated.”), writes simultaneously some of the funniest and most insane stuff on the net. Don’t believe me? Take a gander at this. But clown mask fell off today: Not Funny I’m pissed, and I don’t write good hum…

  15. Ping Tsunami

    Hurray! The Munuvians have their own blog! Our Benevolent Benefactor and Marvelous Mentor Pixy Misa has set up a group blog where all of Munuviana can babble expound on various inanities topics….. It’s very cool….. Elsewhere, Evil Minion Kevin is n…

  16. WTF, spam in the comments now? Damn spammers!!!
    “At whit’s end, Garfield decides to put John out of his misery from a boring, pointless, and loveless existance.”
    Oh, and after that picture I think you should name the kitten Kim, a name that certainly doesn’t imply lack of masculinity (to anyone who had read Mr. Du Toit of course).

  17. Today Aquaman’s dead body was found lying in the middle of a busy street no one was on at the time. Police suspect the Rumsfield Strangler using a new MO…a bullet between the eyes from a small caliber rifle tiny enough to be held by someone the size of a kitten!

  18. In the Marines. Outstanding. Those individuals showed what one motivated kitten and his rifle can do. And before you ladies leave my Island, you will all be able to do the same thing.

  19. Suddenly, and without warning, the Dog and CAt wars escalated dramatically.
    or.
    Let’s see. Pointy hat means hate filled lefty.
    or.
    We observe the assasin kitty in its native habitat. No one has ever witnessed one before. See how it plays with its fluffy star. What a cute little kitty, what a.. no. no . Oh GOD NOOOOO!!

  20. Cat was getting tired of listening to Frank bitch about the comment spam, so she decided to do something about it herself:
    “Damn, why do us women always have to do the work? It’s like they f*%k up on purpose so we don’t ask them to do anything else!”

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