Is this the man you want to be your next president?
Do you want some Oompa Loompa making the decisions that affect your life?
This message was approved by President Bush… who is not a total dork.
Edwards is on T.V. right now talking about all these nice things he wants to do for people – do you think he’ll get a 50% cut if he accomplishes them?
Anyway, first day of my conferences ended with gourmet food as far as the eye could see and an open bar. Holy. I need to do more business travel. Well, doubt I’ll get that again over the next eight days.
Hey, Edwards just made some reference to Kerry serving in a war; which one was it?
Seriously, someone should keep a Kerry war reference count.
Well, I called another meeting over drinks and cigars which I need to head down for soon. Maybe I’ll do some more gambling while I’m down there and tell you how I do. Hopefully, I’ll have some time soon to do some real political blogging. ’till then, caption the picture above.
Oh, and by everyone’s recommendation, I’m going to try the In-And-Out Burger tomorrow for dinner.
He just mentioned Kerry was in the military again. That’s twice…
ugh, i’m watching too, and i’m close to vomitousness. i can’t take listening to him.
caption:
cotton candy, anyone?
now that’s a horse of a different color!
“Need a hand Senator Kerry?”
“No. There’s more room in here than in the tunnels I helped clear out in Vietnam…in between river missions, of course.”
How about this:
“Kerry is overjoyed as he discovers unwaffled territory.”
“I bumped my head… Do I get a purple Heart?”
caption: Who’s up for a party? I’m gonna be a Bunny Wabbit.
It was either this or the see-through black dress……I’m beginning to think I should have gone with the dress.
Or maybe: “Hope is on the way”
John Kerry gets a much-needed endorsement from the good people at “Depends”
Tuh-ray-zuh, i’m wearing my cute little PJs with the flap in the back…
After I win, I’m gonna make them give me lots of these keen outfits. They make me feel all special inside.
Frank J. has done you all a disservice by not showing the REST of the picture. Check out this wide-angle shot:
http://www.allahpundit.com/archives/000738.html
Oh, and Frank… ask for the burger Animal style. They are the best.
Ben, good one.
“Oh, who’s a good wittle boy? Who’s a good wittle boy? Come and get the keys! Come and get mommy’s keys! Oop, oop, he’s crawling! He’s coming to to get them! He’s crawling! Ohhh, he fell down!”
Kerry dons an over-sized prophylactic, and gives a dramatic reenactment of how his little willie made him big millionare!
I had a caption contest of my own over at the Viking Emporium, and Wolf’s Dawn said this:
“Presidential candidate, John Kerry says he can finally sleep at night after letting everyone in space know that he served in Vietnam.”
That was said by, I repeat, not me, but Wolf’s Dawn. If it wins, he gets to answer the question and not me! I just thought it was beyond hilarious!
Also, you still havn’t answered our questions for the SarahK caption contest.
Tomorrow, get the double-double.
Kerry gets down on hands and knees, and demonstrates his “position” on foreign policy. He wears protective garments, so that “those UN guys don’t get me all sloppy”.
Damn, my mind is in the gutter tonight. Wolf’s Dawn’s comment, as relayed by Reed the Viking is quite good.
Plaqued with questions about his manhood, democratic challenger John Kerry tours an oversized model uterus dressed as a sperm
Yeah double double animal style…I got one as I was on the way to the airport in SF…great way to end my trip 🙂
here he comes folks,
the bluest in blue….
the newest in new………
Yes, you too can own one of these official manure wading suits.
When the manure starts to fly during the debates you can be prepared by donning one of these.
this message was approved by NSP
(National Socialist Party, aka NAZI Party, aka LibDem Party, aka _____?)
Didn’t I see him in a Woody Allen movie?
Drat. Link didn’t work. Try this:
http://members.aol.com/colakoftwilow/sperm.jpg
Maybe the Martians will vote for him.
given the context, I think Kerry’s ticket needs to be updated:
a new Kerry campaign poster: http://www.dlvd.net/images/kerrytinky.jpg
the accompanying post, with more Photoshop goodies: http://www.dlvd.net/index.php?p=289
I have more, but enh, I’m just an amateur ’round these here parts. I hope this can be of use to any of you, or for your humour. I know i’m no Frank J, but enh…
“This isn’t my spaceship. It’s the family’s.
The d**n secret service made me wear this suit. They pushed me, I did’t fall.”
Once Hillary finally decided to assert her control over the Democratic Party, the male Burka became mandatory for all liberal “men” and John Kerry, for his slight of only giving her the slot of introducing her husband, was forced to be the first to model it.
More of a story than a caption, but I do tend to ramble:
In an effort to appeal to another group of undecided voters, John Kerry dons blue at his campaign stop in Smurf Village.
Due to language differences, reaction was hard to guage, but sentiment was perhaps best summed up by resident Farmer Smurf who opined to wide applause: “Smurf you and the Smurf boat you rode in on.”
The speech came to an ignominous end when Kerry’s wife stood up to applaud, prompting the crowd to panic and run away screaming “Hogatha!”
“Damnit, that’s twice! I want some butts!”
Not a caption, but Frank’s comment made me think of Top Gun.
the Democrats, not to be outdone by Donald Rumsfeld’s angry rottweiller, released pictures of the World’s Goofiest Dog.
Now the caption:
“This is more fun than my second honeymoon!”
Nothing says Effiminate Douchebag like the latest in French jumpsuit fashion.
Actually, maybe subtlety is the best caption:
John Kerry, Viet Nam war hero.
Hope is on the way! that’s my fav so far.
Wheeeee! More slide, wanna go again!
I kept count of his Vietnam references by making a drinking game out of it.
Now I’m in AA taking it one day at a time…
Hey, what am I doing in Michael Moore’s small intestine?
“Kerry supports amnesty for Illegal Aliens”
Yeah, go ahead, attack his outfit! After all, your president knows better than to dress up in silly costumes (like, say, flight suits) and strut around…
Stick to the issues. Oh, wait, you can’t…
Master Frank, please consider using Kerry and his “suit” in a new In My World!
Thought bubble over his head:
“Oh, yeah… I’m slick… they have to love me now… can’t call me boring and dull now… hell, no…damn, if only Dukakis would have thought of this… they wouldn’t have been able to make fun of him in that tank with that dumb ass helmet on… oh, yeah… I’m very, very slick… oh, yeah…”
“In Style News today, Senator Kerry, who served in Vietnam, models the latest in official DNC convention wear: color-coordinated prophylactic apparel designed to cleverly hide those unsightly liberal-moonbat circumcision scars.”
That’s one small waffle for man… One major insult to mankind.
Well, under the house looks okay but you’ve got squirrels in your attic for sure.
BTW, Thank’s Mr. The Viking!!!
John Kerry suits up in preparation for Michael Moore’s yearly clensing
John Kerry suits up in preparation for Michael Moore’s yearly cleansing
“Welll gooooooolllllly Sgt. Carter, you’d never believe what I just found!”
LOL, Former Hostage, i thought the same thing last night, he totally looks like Pyle there!!
Kerry: I looked dumb before I looked stupid
Hey Frank,
What conference are you attending? It wouldn’t be TAMS would it? At Mandalay Bay? If so, hit the House of Blues. Actually, hit it anyway.
I don’t know if you have been alerted, but apparently there is a Star Trek convention in town. I don’t know if you want to avoid the Hilton, or go for a laugh, but keep a look out!
Oh, and definately get your In-n-Out burger animal-style. If you like your fries crispy, order them well-done (yes, you can do that). Also consider getting one of thier shakes for dessert. You can mix flavors. If you want all three, chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry, that’s called neapolitan-style.
uhhh uhuhh huh huh
burgersssssssssssssssessss
in&out in&out in&out!
“A baby blue UN helmet? Nah, I’ll do one better”
“Kerry’s plan for defeating the terrorists: If they’re laughing too hard, they can’t attack us”
“This is what I looked like when I was just a baby – an uncooked waffle, one might say”
And Schlega, what kinda mathie doesn’t know that you can’t count to aleph 1? Bah, the geeks are going down in quality these days…
Hey – don’t let Kerry in space! it messes up my EVIL plans for a conservative colony on Mars! 5 out of 5 future colonists agree!
Caption:
The Klingon can stay, but the leftist in the sperm suit has got to go!
good one Doc.
“Whole Moose” hehehe
“No. Really. It’s just this suit – I’m not an actual dickhead!”
Dear Ian McGibboney,
Sure, I can stick to the issues. For example, just now I had this nearly uncontrollable urge to call you Ian McGibbon, but I didn’t.
Thanks Josh, but I liked Chris D’s “Oh, who’s a good wittle boy?…” Laughing out loud.
Frank:
Here are my attempts. Have a good trip.
1. “I am ready for my close-up Mr. Spielberg.”
2. “Mummy took me to NASA and all I got was this lousy pair of jammies! When I went to Viet Nam I got three purple hearts! What a gip!”
3. “Are you guys sure this is how John Glenn got his start?”
4. “Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to obscurity I go!”
5. “OK, ok, I wore the suit like you wanted, now can I please see the alien bodies from the Roswell crash site like you guys promised? Why is everyone laughing now? Hey, where is everyone going? I wanted to see the aliens! Hey get back here, damn it! I was in Viet Nam for crap-sakes! I was decorated! Jeeves, make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, damn you.”
“John Kerry. Vietnam Vet. Senator. Intestinal Virus.”
“What? You found that in my colonoscopy?”
“HEY! What is this? They told me I was going to be one of the Blue Man Group!”
I love Vietnam Vets. That is why I can’t stand the sight of John Kerry. He makes that title seem bad when it is not.
“I voted FOR the SMITE program before I voted against it.”
“I made a poopie…tee…hee…hee.”
“John Kerry emerges from the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese’s before resuming the campaign trail on his short bus”.
OR:
“John Kerry emerges from the exam room after performing a visual self-colonoscopy.”
Ter-Ray-Suh, You Said I could have a Blues-Clues Birthday Party and all my friends would come!
http://www.buycostumes.com/ProductDetail.aspx?ProductID=5559&PCatID=&ccatid=&AID=3996321&PID=948801&SID=BluesClues
“Ground control to Major Kerry, you’re a freakin idiot!”
“Umpa, umpa, umpa di do, Michael Moore has another poopie for you.”
“Grim.”
BikerMommy: instestinal virus! I love that! That is so right on, and not just for the picture! A virus is intrusive, vile, painful, untreatable, nauseating, and it cleans you out. Bravo!
Former Hostage: You never disapoint. Poopie. That was great.
JFK demonstrating his deer-hunting technique
The suppository goes in which way?
“Cameras were in John Kerry’s home as he woke up…”
And I see there was a muckadoo here earlier asking you to stick to the issues….we’re REPUBLICANS. We can do whatever we wanna. Someone needs to teach these muckadoos to respect their betters.
And I see there was a muckadoo here earlier asking you to stick to the issues….we’re REPUBLICANS. We can do whatever we wanna. Someone needs to teach these muckadoos to respect their betters. LOL
Hoping to gain the support of women voters, John Kerry dons his sperm suit.
“but I liked Chris D’s”
Why, thank you.
“After recieving the endorsement of Dennis Kucinich, Senator Kerry travels to outer space to thank the Congressman in person, at his own home planet.”
“Senator Kerry, we have the Anybody But Bush vote in the bag, so to win this election you are going to have to portray yourself as a moderate or even a rightist. In order to create this facade, we have created this commie-proof suit for you to wear at all times, so as not to project socialist pheromones. Good luck, and [deity of no particular denomination] speed.”
I wish I came up with this one myself, but one of my Freeper buddies came up with the perfect caption to this.
“Ground control to major Dork”
Someday, if I eat all my veggies, I hope to be that quick witted.
“John Kerry practices his ‘terrorist attack drill,’ preparing for the day he takes office.”
“Always looking for the next big Hollywood endorsement, John Kerry happily did what it took to get into Michael Jackson’s hyperbaric chamber.”
“Who needs botox-
I sleep in an oxygen tent wearing sterile pajamas to maintain my youthful looks”
Oops! Looks like I was on the same page as twalsh that time.
This is Kerry’s position on the U.N.
Damn… Chris D already covered that… sorry, I think both our minds are in the gutter.
Or try the one you see when you click on my name…ask for a 20 by 20…animal style.
cheers,
Dick
Thanks Wolf’s Dawn.
“Mission accomplished! I stopped up the drain hole so they can’t flush the Johns now!!”
“When do we get lightsabers? … zwing zwing zwing … take that you outerspace VC!”
I dunno…i just don’t get the whole In and Out burger phenom. I’m sure it doesnt help when i ask for it “gorilla” style. Dangit…i cant get that “monster” thing down. 🙁
“I made a poopie…tee…hee…hee.”
Posted by Former Hostage at July 29, 2004 12:02 PM
Oh man I about died laughing.
thanks FH
“Meet the newest Teletubby, Flipsy-flopsy!”
“I’ll show Michael Jackson who the master of hyperbaric chamber technology really is!”
“Gentlemen, we have the technology. We can make him dorkier! More liberal!”
“…and then Senator Kerry entered the Quantum Feeb accelerator…and vanished!“
Ian McGibbon-face,(see what I did there?)
It’s probably not a good idea to come to a site with opposing views, and challenge them on what they’re saying. Like, I just went to your website, totally not expecting it to have any logic or make any sense or be good at all, and you didn’t let me down. I didn’t go there and say, hey mr. dude, how about some actual facts here? Or how about you find out what the issues are so you can stick to them? So….IMAO is probably not the place for you….muckadoos…erm they’re all the same…. In closing, righties rule, lefties drool.
Sincerely,
Moi
(See what I did there?? Threw in a little french to confuse him…LOL)
True….I give him 1/2 a point for honesty.
Respectfully and humbly submitted for your approval:
http://68.86.140.12/p2gfx/kerry01a.gif
“…and when the liberal comes out of his hole and gets scared seeing his own shadow, it means four more years of republicans in the White House”
The entire country breathed a sigh of relief as Massachusettes John saw his own shadow today, indicating an imminent end to the long liberal summer.
Man, it would seriously kick pinky-toe if Bush put on the suit and got a pic of him beating down some hippies.
doh… refresh and someone beat me to the idea. 😛
I don’t have a caption, but I look at that picture and laugh uncontrollably.
I can’t believe a MAN who wants to be PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES would allow himself to be photographed in that suit! I mean, I’m sure it’s cool to check out NASA and all, but c’mon! Some testosterone please? PLEASE?
Wow, Michael Moore’s rectum is REALLY big…….
Darth Goober
well comments have reached the century mark here. Very popular post, sir.
Keep up the good work.
Bob in Feenicks, that was funny.
“little Rabbit Fu-Fu hoppin’ thru the forest… down came the fairy godmother and turned him into a goon!”
or something like that.
Bob in Feenicks that was hilarious.
Sarahk, I think you mean “Little bunny foo foo hopping through the forrest skipping by the meesy mice and bopping them on the head” and then afterwards the fairy turns him in to a goon or something. Unfortunately for that story, Kerry has been a goon/goober forever.
skipping by the meesy mice and bopping them on the head
meesy mice… my book says field mice.
That’s it I am doing a Google search on those lyrics…………
jus a sec………opening new window.
searching for:
Little bunny foo foo lyrics
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=little+bunny+foo+foo+lyrics
ok looks like alot of people like this song………….hmm….which one do I choose……ugh…decisions…….hmm..
ok the first one………..
http://www.kididdles.com/mouseum/l007.html
appereantly it was written by an unknown..that figures. I really wanted to see if they were just a one hit wonder………
Wow! I didn’t realize there were so many verses.
Yup I was right, “field mice”, hah!
And SarahK was correct about there being a fairy…..hahahaha.
Kerry the fairy! lol hahahaha
“I think both our minds are in the gutter.”
Great minds, and all…
more bunny foo foo lyrics:
I’ll give you three chances,
And if you don’t behave
I’ll turn you into a goon!”
lol…he’s already a goon
Oh by the way I quit smoking that wacky tobacky, hippy crap, 3 daze ago.
I think I am even goofier without it.
I have been smiling and giggling all day at the crazy things all you people post.
Everybody please pray for me to stay away from the om-budz-man’s house. thank you.
So far beo and Bob in Feenicks have made me laugh out loud.
Pam, they have In-N-Out in Phoenix. What are you waiting for??? Ahem.
“T minus ten seconds to waffle.”
Right about then, Senator Kerry began having second thoughts about hiring those people from the Kubrick Image Consultancy.
(This one was inspired by my 10yr old son)
Hey guys! Check out this neat fort I built!
Unknown to many people…John sKerry was born full-sized. Doctors attribute this to the freakishly large umbilical chord.
I saw these two on a forum recently:
Houston, we have a moron.
2004: A Space Idiocy
The Adrogenous Strain.
The first line of his speech was a perfect caption: “I’m John Kerry and I’m reporting for duty”
The Bunny Foo-Foo song was my favorite when I was in kindergarten. Mrs. Nelson sang it to us at least once a week. DON’T RUIN THIS FOR ME!!!!!!!!! HOW CAN I EVER SING THAT SONG AGAIN?? WHY DO THE DEMOCRATS HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING THEY TOUCH!!!! I know that technically they are not responsible for the Bunny Foo-Foo references BUT IF HE HADN’T POSED IN THE BUNNY EARS IT.NEVER.WOULD.HAVE.HAPPENED!!!!
Goodnight all! 🙂
I think the caption should be thus:
Kerry “When I was fighting in Vietnam, we didn’t have the full-body condom like the one I’m demonstrating..as a matter of fact..what THE?? Glenn??? What are you doing back there?? Get offa me!”
Submitted for y’alls approval.
And Frank, I’m envious of you..I went to Vegas for vacation and lost $$, while you go there for “work”‘, and make BANK!! AND have cigars and beverages!
mopes
lol @ Ken and Wolf’s Dream
Wolf’s Dawn…. sorry
Jonag, there are 3 within a five mile radius of my house, but alas, I’ve given them up as I can never remember whether it’s gorilla, animal or monster I’m supposed to ask for. The humiliation when the blank stare comes is more than I can bear.
and John Kery was born in a little blue jumpsuit. And then the doctor slapped his mother
dang don’t punish the poor woman for this freak of nature…
it’s not her fault that he’s a mutant horseheaded boy whose wife calls him fuzzy wuzzy.
It’s all a really sad affair actually.
Poor 3 eyed mutant Bass Turd.
I have updated my blog account
I just updated this blog. It’s bought and paid for now. Woo hoo!
There are so many different things to do on here, I am going to have fun figuring it all out.
Unfortunantly my home computer is a Mac, I know they suck…save yourbreath…er..fing
That’s really freakin’ hilarious. Kerry wearing a funny outfit. That’s certainly a lot more pathetic than someone, I don’t know, leading a country to war over false pretenses. Hey! He looks like a sperm!
Dear Shannon Hubbell,
Don’t be so hard on Clinton in Kosovo. I know he probably could’ve gotten UN authority if he had tried, so really, its almost just like he had proper authority to take US forces to War.
That’s right. Clinton was wrong. I really can’t stand Clinton.
So…you’re for Nader? Let me know, I’m sure everyone around here can have fun making fun of him too. I know I can.
Houston we have a moron made me laugh out loud.
This giant prophylactic should protect me when I screw the United States of America.
You guys are obsessed with the condom/colon thing. I’d almost call it a fetish. Way to elevate that political discourse!
McGibblett, you are obsessed with this blog. In this country you are free to choose so I’m not sure why you constatly choose to come to a blog where you have no shared interest. I know you want to be just like us but it’s not something you buy down at the Dorks R Us emporium where you hang out so we can’t help you. Now run along junior, Mummy is ready to take you back to school shopping.
I have updated my blog account
I just updated this blog. It’s bought and paid for now. Woo hoo! There are so many different things to do on here, I am going to have fun figuring it all out. Unfortunantly my home computer is a Mac, I know they suck…save yourbreath…er..fingers.
Wow, the libshit crybabies are out in full force today.
“Let’s pretend like there isn’t a free and prospering country in the Middle East, where two years ago we had arguably the world’s most brutal dictatorship. Hooray for socialism!”
Tonight on ABC News…Not only is this democratic hopeful a recipient of three – count them THREE purple hearts, but he is also the first man to perform a “Human Camera” colonoscopy on Senator Ted Kennedy. Film at 11:00.
Now, now, krautstink, I think you may be obsessed with colon jokes.
It’s blo-og…. blo-og..it’s big it’s heavy it’s wood!
blo-og… blo-og.. it’s better than bad it’s good
Everyone loves a blog….everyone wants a blog…..
by blammo!
“Let’s pretend like there isn’t a free and prospering country in the Middle East, where two years ago we had arguably the world’s most brutal dictatorship. Hooray for socialism!”
Wow! Now I see why you’re all so obsessed with colon jokes…your observations are such bull$#!t!
I have updated my blog account
I just updated this blog. It’s bought and paid for now. Woo hoo! There are so many different things to do on here, I am going to have fun figuring it all out. Unfortunantly my home computer is a Mac, I know they suck…save yourbreath…er..fingers.
Iam McGibblet STFU!!!!
I just went to McGibblets blog and lft him a friendly hate mail.
Oh, and Frank J., sir, you are on his shi…I mean oponents list.
He is obviously a huge fan of yours.
I told him to add me to his hate..I mean oponents list
Wasn’t there a song called Obsession? Who sang that? I know there’s Calvin Klein’s Obsession and they had the stupid commercial that said, “Ah, the smell of it.”
This comment makes no sense therefore Ian McNutty should understand it yet still probably find it offensive to his liberal principals and pals. Poor baby.
Yes, I love this site. I’m not obsessed with it in quite the same way you’re all obsessed with my name (nice political philosophizing there, by the way), but I like to come by and see what informed discourse is going on on the other side.
By the way, the song “Obsession” is by Animotion. And no, I don’t want to sleep with you.
“Wow! Now I see why you’re all so obsessed with colon jokes…your observations are such bull$#!t!”
Bullshit how? Iraq may not be an ideal Western democracy, but I haven’t seen any pictures of refugees fleeing the country in mass since the overthrow of Saddam. My God! You mean the little brown people can actually form a fairly free and democratic society without collapsing into all out anarchy and sectarian fighting? Perish the thought!
That little self-indulgent attitude of feigned intellectual superiority though, that’s cute. In case you didn’t catch on, this is a humor site. There are plenty of other right-wing blogs out there if you’re looking for a more serious discussion, as well as an intellectual bitch-slapping. It’s worth noting, of course, that if you had anything of substance to say on your blog, you wouldn’t have to resort to copy & pasting quotes from this silly little caption contest, would you? And no, Clinton-fellating is not what I would call discource of any form of substance. Get over yourself, buddy.
I declare a Troll Hunt! Ring the village bell; get the pitchforks!
By the way, “Ian,” if that is your real name: you could be a bit more inventive with your name. Something like “Filthy McNasty,” or “Stanky McPooty” has a much nicer ring to it. How about “Slurpy McSludge?” Or “Squishy McPatty?”
What about “Doots O’Plenty”?
Ian:
Informed Discourse? On IMAO? You’ve got to be kidding me. This is a satire site (except for the SMITE project, but that’s top secret, so please be discrete), and while quite a few of the commenters here do engage in Informed Discourse, they aren’t likely to do so here, where we all just like to laugh and NOT be serious.
Poopy-head.
I have updated my blog account
I just updated this blog. It’s bought and paid for now. Woo hoo! There are so many different things to do on here, I am going to have fun figuring it all out. Unfortunantly my home computer is a Mac, I know they suck…save yourbreath…er..fingers.