Wolf’s Dawn writes:
Sorry I took so long to submit but I felt this pressure to come up with a clever math/science question so you could impress with your out-of-this-world knowledge. And I’m not being snarky! However, I just found myself getting a headache from trying to come up with something brilliant so I decided to stick to the low-brow comedy I know best.
I am from the eastern part of the Mid Atlantic region. Does that make me middle eastern?
You are given a chance to ask the fountain of knowledge – me – any questions, and this is what you come up with? Your question is stupid, and thus you have reflected poorly on all middle easterners who are already having a PR problem with their terrorism and murderousness and what not. I hope you die in a jihad… but don’t get martyrdom.
Heh heh, martyr-dumb. They should use that as a slogan to stop people from being terrorists. Why don’t try that out since you’re in the Middle East, Wolf Dawn?
I forgot to write down who wrote this, but here it is:
If you could fill a 5 gallon water jug with dimes or quarters, which would you choose to get the most money?
Quarters, duh, because quarters are worth more and now have wacky pictures on the back (collect them all!). Also, you can’t use dimes in arcade machines. Dimes are worthless. If I had a jug of dimes, I’d just chuck handfuls of them at people. And people would be like, “Stop that!” And I’d be like, “No!” And they’d be like, “Ahh, you got me in the eye!” And I’d be like, “Hooray!” And they’d be like, “Now you stop or… erk… ack!” And I’d be like, “Ha ha! I got them right down your throat! Now you die! Ha ha!”
On second thought, I’ll take the jug of dimes.
RP from Australia writes:
One of my university professors says that we should all go see Fahrenheit 9/11. I am scared; is it possible to catch obesity or communism from watching too many Michael Moore movies?
Yes, studies show that people coming out of Fahrenheit 9/11 tend to be fatter and more inclined to stupidity than when they entered. Instead, see Alien vs. Predator. That one will only make you dumber.
Damn, another one where I forgot to write who asked the questions:
I have 2 questions to Ask Frank:
A. Which is more slippery, anti-gravity or Teflon?
2. Which is harder to find, a brave Phrenchman or a pound of anti-matter?
Enquiring minds want to know.
A. Teflon is slippy; anti-gravity pushes you away and has nothing to do with friction. So you don’t want it. If you have anti-gravity, please give it to me.
2. There’s probably at least a pound of anti-matter that could be found at an anomaly at the center of our galaxy. As for a brave Frenchman, none is known to exist anywhere in the space-time continuum.
Frank Answers™ is now invitation only, so don’t send me your stupid questions. I hate you.
great! you hate france people to! and want to kill people with money! you shuld be locked up so you dont hurt democrats and france
Jean Luc Picard is French and he’s brave. I mean, come on…he messed up The Borg reeaaallllyyy bad. Not as bad as Janeway, but anyway…does Picard get a pass?
Jeff, Jeff, Jeff!!!!
Picard is a work of FICTION! Therefore, the idea of a brave Phrenchman is also….wait for it…fiction!
Napoleon was brave. So was LaFayette. But they have both been dead for 200 years. What happened to the French? They used to be so useful.
Napoleon was born in Corsica, so dose that mean he wasn’t technicaly French?
jonag,
The French are still useful. They can be used for target practice. Example: We tested a bomb on their embassy during the Iran conflict in the 80’s. Oops. I wasn’t supposed to admit that, was I?
I’ve been trying to get Islamic Terrorists to hate france. That thing where they didn’t want Muslim girls to wear scarves was a good start. If we can get the terrorists to go to france, we can kill two birds with one carpet bombing.
A roll of dimes is only slightly thinner than a roll of quarters, yet a roll of quarters is worth $10 and dimes are only worth $5. I’d stick with the quarters.
Leave it to me to apply rational logic to a frank answers!!!
why do you all hate french? what does france do to you? they give you fries, toast, kisses, dressing, and mr. french from that show with brian keith and those little kids. and the guy in the pink panther is from france and he is FUNNY. france loves america and wnats us to be brothers. we should be nice to france and thank them for their fries which i like very much with ketchup
damn frank, who the f pissed in your post toasties this morning?
I bet you use Heinz catsup too, Aobey. You communist loser. You go to hell and you die!
Janeway’s not bad. She’s just a bad-ASS. Kate Mulgrew may be a whiny, socialist, peacenik Democratic bitch, but Janeway was hardcore. This is a woman who led one single ship through the hostile, terrorist-filled Delta Quadrant for seven years and (with the help of her double from the future) crippled the entire Borg collective with one stroke. She rocks.
Picard? Picard is a pussboy. Remember when his solution to the attack by the Borg in “Best of Both Worlds, Part I” was to go RUN AND HIDE IN A CLOUD?! Or when he went home after being assimilated and cried in the mud like a baby? In the movies he kinda grew a pair of balls but compared to Janeway PUH-LEASE. He’s French, dude. Earl Grey tea-drinking surrender Ferengi all the way.
LOL actually I’m not being serious. I like Picard. I just like Janeway more. The only captain I hate is Sisko–he was an asshole.
lern to spell tim e! its ketchup not catsup and i dont want to die
why do you and frankj hate everybody?
and coma toes wake up you put MILK in your cerial. MILK you are just grose
OK I think I misread the comment above (“bad” being a description of how Janeway messed up the Borg, not her captaining abilities), but I still stand by what I say. Ha ha, Picard got beat by a girl 😛 😛
The problem with preaching martyr-dumb is that it translates to free fries.
“lern to spell tim e! its ketchup not catsup and i dont want to die
why do you and frankj hate everybody?
and coma toes wake up you put MILK in your cerial. MILK you are just grose”
Yeah, Tim E., LERN to spell…
Aobey, you must be a frickin’ French retard.
First, the word is l-e-A-r-n, you fantastic waste of skin.
Second, catsup and ketchup are BOTH correct. Take a walk through a f***in’ grocery store you dim-witted, mega-cooz!
Third, oh comedy genius, we hear in the best damn country in the world know how to eat our freakin’ CEREAL (notice the CORRECT spelling, you mongotard!) and anybody with an empty cranial cavity would know that it was a joke.
AND THE WORD IS GROSS – LIKE YOU. WHAT THE F*** IS A GROSE?!
GET OFF OF OUR PLANET!!!!
Ow, my eye! I’m not supposed to get dimes in it!
Children, Children!?! Can’t you see that Aobey is a farce? There is no way that even a DUMB Democrap could be this far off the mark (iraqwarwrong not withstanding). Let’s have fun and PLAY with the little furry creature called Aobey, not kick him so that he doesn’t want to play anymore!
Just my .02
You like ketchup and french fries?? TRAITOR TO THE AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE! Hahaha.
Over the Top is right. Aobey is clearly not for real or serious. Let’s have a sense of humor, people…
calmmmmmmmmm coma tose calmmmmmmmmm….
Think happy thoughts…
or stop by and look at the funny pic I stole from another blogger.
Thanks coma tose. When I saw that little troll’s reply comment to me I thought he was just kidding, but no, that was possibly the most humorus ironic thing I’d ever read.
But I digress, as I need to go lern to spell.
off topic, sorry……
The Bush Twins just lost major hotness points.
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/223288p-191737c.html
Well, if you’re going to be like that, Frank, then I’m keeping any dimes that get lodged in my eyes or throat!
A new Know Thy Enemies idea.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/suffolk/3576146.stm
Know Thy Enemies: Meteorites
coma toes cant even spell his own name
he spells coma toes and coma tose so which is it? maybe i spell a word or to wrong but at least i know to spell my name! and not to wee in my brekfast!
NOOOOOOOOoooooo Joshua, say is isn’t so!! LOL I’ll bet GW will be fit to be tied if they follow through….
Aobey,
Here have this nice big cup of STFU!!!
see you cant spell either! it is spelled STUFF and why do i need a cup of stuff?
I hear ya OTT, bad Bushies!!
[stupid]Aobey[/stupid]
Heh-heh. I see you’re still putting your HTML skills to use Joshua. Although that looks like XML with brackets instead of < and >. By the way Joshua, if you want to put lessthan/greaterthan in HTML do it like this:
& lt ;
& gt ;
(just take out the spaces.)
Dear Aobey:
It has come to our attention that you have a few issues with IMAO and it’s members. This is understandable, considering the fact that we are a group of FREE thinkers that have gathered together in one place to express like thoughts. It is obvious to us here at IMAO that you are not of the same thought as the group collective, and we are currently considering if you are of the same species. Though we DO enjoy playing with you, as we would a furry little puppy, you must understand that us BIG people might step on you on accident, and it could cause irreparable damage to your delicate little psyche. Please keep this thought in mind as you continue, and feel free to leave at any time if you feel outmatched or in any way fragile.
Sincerely,
OTT
i won’t say who used the wrong hear/here, but it was ironical.
Fragile. Reminds me of a great Marx Bros. movie.
i am not to fragile. you are mostly nice people tho some are mean. i am glad you like free thoghts so i can have some here to. i just think france is nice and we dont have to kill them or anything extreme like that. the wether their is good to except last year when people died because it got hot. i hope nobody here thought that was funny
i think frank might just be being funny but some poeple are just plane mean
thank you for the nice message over the top you are nice and frendly to people like me who dont hate things
Call the short bus. And help the poor kid find his helmet so he doesn’t get hurt.
I had a cup of STUFF once. I usually enjoyed it with a bowl of thing-a-ma-bobs.
“Quarters, duh, because quarters are worth more and now have wacky pictures on the back (collect them all!).”
So you’re saying quarters are like Pokemon, right? ^_^
Methinks Aobey is Amphitryon.
Frank, Soooo sorry to be the one to break this to you, but the has been ONE brave frenchman. His name-I think-was LeClerc-and he was a member of the free-french during WWII. His unit fought with Monty’s forces in North Africa. Monty was down right impressed by his fighting acumen. As for the rest of the French-they’re PUSSIES.
I stand corrected. LeClerec was an OFFICER-Lt. Col.- in the Free- French Forces.
BARB
methinks Aobey is iraqwarwrong’s twin.
Your’re right Joshua and OTT, good people shouldn’t be friends with sinners like that. I just can’t decide if we should stone them all to death or collapse a wall on them.
OUCH!! Good shot, ymb, good shot.
go for the wall!
Get more at once…
What happens when you run out of walls for collapsing? Do the huns invade?
KTM: Metorites… hmmm…
How about the Dissident Frogman? Would you save the country for one good man? I think there are some French that are still thankful for our sacrifice on D-Day but it is hard to hear them way over here. DF had some moving posts on the 60th anniversary of D-day; good stuff to read if you start thinking the world is going to crap. He would need some SarahK “pinky toe” editing to make his site family friendly.
Here is one link that has Saddam, Kim Jong Il, Elvis and LOTR references in it. Kind of old but still funny.
http://www.thedissidentfrogman.com/bureau/001491.html
do you mean KTE, Frank?
Dimes. If you roll your own 12-gage shells you can load them should you run out of buck shot. Can’t do that with quarters.
am i too late to meet Aobey, is that like abby? are you female or male? where do you come from? why do you like france…feel free to e-mail me the answers to these questions
I think Aobey is iraqwarwrong. If I’m right, that means that iraqwarwrong decided to change names because he now sees that the war was right, not wrong. Is that right?
blowing up terrorists was always right, they blow themselves up anyways so might as well save them the trouble. iraqwarwrong generally had something to say. this person has yet to say anything if you ask me…so i don’t know
Hey, retaaaaahd, it ain’t my real name, I spell it diffrently every time I post and, what’s more, you’re a MONGOTARD!
oh, btw, lest anyone think otherwise, that was for the stinky french fop known as aobey
good cause i’s about to cry like a frenchman….haha on second thought YIPES
mike_rdr you’re totally right about The Dissident Frogman. He points out every day how much his country sucks. That quote on his website is great: “If all Frenchmen were The Frogman, France would be Texas!”
Awww, Mongo not ‘tard…Mongo straight!
TYVM Mel Brooks!
I think Aobey is iraqwarwrong. If I’m right, that means that iraqwarwrong decided to change names because he now sees that the war was right, not wrong. Is that right?
that is wrong
iraq war is okay but could be better. french and germans would make it better and so would canadians. and swiss. but what is the ooposite of going to war without french? its going to war with france and that would be wrong. so i gess its okay to not go to war with france (good to go to war without france.) so its just okay i gess. its not kery’s fault he forgot he liked the war once before he though it was wrong. i think iraqwarokay and kery and edward did to.
Hey, I just saw AVP! And I feel strangely at ease with the world.
Oh, and to our new friend:
killing people with money is fun. Especially when you make bets with them about how many $50 bills you can cram down their throat before they suffocate, and then when they reach the target number and don’t die, you can say “double or nothing!” and cram twice as many down, ensuring a win.
Aobey — your use of the term “war with France” and the analysis that follows it may be why you are compared to Amphition (sp?) who is Francophone; you may be typing English, but grammatically that post seems a trifle French. I don’t know if the folk around here have read Dicken’s “Tale of Two Cities” to understand how the French aristocracy turned decadent and evil over 200 years ago and the poor starving French masses have never recovered, but rest assured that it’s nothing personal — people don’t like France around here because of the leadership deciding they prefer oil (for palaces) contracts to deposing brutal dictators in the Middle East. Rest assured that people around here like to blow off steam by talking mean about France but that even Frank J himself wouldn’t scorn a well-made product or a masterpiece of art just because it’s French. (Where does the name “Frank” come from anyway? Who did Charlemagne rule?) On the other hand, if come November we get a French-looking President, I would expect the anti-France rhetoric to step up a notch.
OMG I’m famous, visit the blog of this famous question-asker
Quarters are nice, but they dont work in a 12 gauge.
Aobey is rather confusing, i have no idea what he/she’s saying about kerry and edwards. well anyways we aren’t mean we will banter you but if you stick around we’ll welcome you with open arms, yeah, ahem…ok anyways iraqwarok enjoy your day FRENCHMAN…ahem there i go again
entrepreneur is a franch word. are you a france man?
Aobey,
What did you climb back out of your spider-hole. You cheese eating french surrender monkey!!!
I still have a fresh mug of STFU for you. Drink it!!!
What, did you climb back out of your spider-hole?
Sorry, typo. Guess Aobey wizard like use of the English language is rubbing off on me. (P-VIMF)
you can drink your own mug of stuff, but you are so nice for trying to share
do you hate monkies too like frankj does? really i guess frankj is just scarred of monkies
Aobey,
S-T-F-U! I really must stop typing to you. I am embarassing myself.
hey now Aobey entrepreneur stands for business owner, but you may have a point. Whatever happened to answering my questions like are you male/female, are you from france, and why do you like france…these are all questions i remain in ponderance over.
Monsieur entrepreneur:
i am not in france (or from there) and i like them only because i dont hate them (which would be wrong) and i am very male (but spoken for). i hope that that ansers your ?s
i just think america should not hate france but be nice to france because its france and their only other friends are arabs so their probly lonely. thats why they think the iraq war is wrong (whether its wrong or write) not because they hate america but because they want more friends
and michel moore wants more friends to so he made a movie to get people to like him and think he is a good guy. but a lot of people hate him now except france likes his movie so maybe they can be each others frind and not be so lonly
Wasn’t Charles Martel a frenchman? He beat back the invading muslim armies coming up from Spain in 732. If he hadn’t done that we’d all probably be muslims right now.
Hooray for Charles Martel!
ok i thought the name sounded female my bad, hope that’s no offense…well i am glad you are spoken for, is she french?
hehe j/k..the french, like? well uhh i don’t know about the “being nice” they are terrorist supporters…but uh yeah sure moore and france can get hitched for all i care maybe he can do the rest of his films in french too that away i don’t have to understand his drivel
Aobey cracks me up. But we Americans don’t mind being lonely because we know it’s lonely at the top. Besides, we have each other. Kumbaya and all that.
yay Jonag!!!
Aobey,
You spell in French much better than you do in English.
I think you are an undercover frog-spy.