[Tweaking Tony’s Bill]

(A guest post by Harvey of Bad Example)
Silly duck, when you have something nice to say about someone’s post, you’re supposed to give a DIRECT LINK to it.
Just for that, I’m not tossing you any more stale bread.
As my co-blogger was TRYING to say, Steve of Disaster and Love, Vengeance and Dust, (whose site appears to be working better today) found out that Frank and Sarah are actually out checking on the SMITE orbital laser, but there may be problems, as the Puppy Blender and his ninja-minions are hell-bent on sabotage.
As proof, there is photshopgraphic evidence at the other end of this DIRECT LINK.

SHOPPING TIP

(A Guest Post by Harvey of Bad Example)
When shopping for new tires for your car or truck, look carefully at the tread pattern. Always select the one that would look better on a hippy.

Kerry Twins

(A Guest Post by Harvey of Bad Example)
(The main body of this post originally appeared at Bad Example on June 7th, 2004)
Since Senator Horse-Face is really busy right now trying to explain away all the aid & comfort he gave to the Viet Cong with his Winter Soldier testimony, I figure this a good time to have some petty, childish fun at his expense.
Actually, it’s ALWAYS a good time for that.


In recent months, John Kerry’s freakishly inhuman appearance has been compared to many people and/or monsters. Now, of course this does NOT mean that his personality in any way resembles these… things. It’s purely physical coincidence.
On the other hand, it made me think: What if – purely for the sake of argument – we took George Bush out of the race, and had Kerry running against his look alikes. How would I vote?
Kerry vs. Lurch: I’m taking Lurch on this one. I think I’d prefer his friendly, helpful “You rang?” attitude to Kerry’s pissy “That son of a bitch pushed me!”
Kerry vs. Herman Munster: Gotta be Herman. I mean, when choosing between two conglomerations of re-animated corpse-parts, size matters. Why settle for the Metro when you can have the Explorer?
Kerry vs. Droopy Dog: Droopy in a landslide. At least he’s not afraid to point weapons at bad guys when required.
Kerry vs. Goofy: I’m going with Goofy. Being the inoffensive and highly agreeable sort, it’ll be easy for the Republican-controlled House and Senate to pile his desk high with all kinds of tax breaks for the obscenely rich, which he’ll sign with a cheerful “Gorsh!”
Kerry vs. Gomer Pyle: This one kinda depends. Gomer’s a Marine, which makes me lean his way, but he’s also a partially retarded inbred hillbilly from Mayberry, and I can just see him accidentally declaring martial law through misapplication of the line item veto – “Gawwwwww-leee! I think I done just suspended me the Bill of Rights! Sha-ZAM!”. But I suppose if Sgt. Carter were his running mate, he could keep him in line with a judiciously bellowed “PY-uhl!”.
Kerry vs. Treebeard: “Wood is good”, I always say. And even though Treebeard was a namby-pamby dithering pacifist who dicked around with the foresty version of the UN until thousands had been slaughtered, at least he eventually opened up a can of woody whup-ass on the piece of shit that killed his friends. Something I wouldn’t trust Kerry to do.
Kerry vs. Harry Bentley (from “The Jeffersons” – lower left of picture): Let’s see, Bentley worked for the UN and begged people to walk all over him. Guess it doesn’t matter much.
Kerry vs. Keith Richards: I’m going with Richards. First, he plays a mean guitar, and second – since he’s British – pissing off the French comes naturally to him. When he’s not too busy being drunk or strung out on heroin, that is.
Kerry vs. the severed head from “Re-Animator”: I’m leaning toward the severed head on this one. Sure he’s completely evil, but – being a severed head – he pretty much has to be evil in one spot. Kerry can jump on Air Force one and spread his flip-floppiness around the entire world like some wafflified version of SARS.
Kerry vs. Jane Fonda: [hums theme to MAS*H while hunting for cyanide tablets]
WHUF! That last one was a little rough. I’m going to my happy place for a while and have some happy thoughts… Hmmm… what if that Secret Service agent had pushed Kerry into a tree instead of a snowbank. Mheh.


I’ve got something completely original slated for posting on Monday night. Meanwhile, I’ll mostly be recycling pixels over here.
Just doing my part to conserve the endangered portions of the electromagnetic spectrum.
Not that anyone will notice, since nobody visits my site anyway.
[weeps piteously]
[looks up to check audience for signs of sympathy]
[hears crickets]
[weeps harder]