New blog war!
Actually, hooray! Down with evil puppy blender and his slander!

Time to tell you to visit all my advertisers again. If you don’t, Chomps will die of heartworm disease.
The Coalition of the Willing is back letting you give thanks to our best British friend since Margaret Thatcher.
Also, I now have JC T-Shirts from our own Brian J. advertising his World Hegemony t-shirt, and I can say it is a very cool t-shirt because I just got one in the mail. Check it out and the other selections at JC T-Shirts (one’s funny but too rude for me to repeat).
Go! You check advertisers now!

We’re not worthy!

August 19th, 2004
Thursday
I left work early to catch a flight to Atlanta and then to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Only problem was the flight out of Melbourne had “mechanical trouble.” No problem, they said; should only get us there ten minutes late. I stopped at the Melbourne bar and had a Guinness while watching an Italian and a Japanese man compete in archery from 70 meters (is that far?). There I had a conversation with someone who worked with airports before and told me all about how Atlanta hires plenty of felons for the jobs there and they all come through a backdoor with no metal detectors.
Hmm. Fun to know. I hope our felons are patriotic, at least.
I finally get on my plane and land in Atlanta with fifteen minutes left until my next flight leaves. We exited at terminal C, and I needed to get to A. Time for a mad dash. Now, I had a couple factors against me. I was wearing my hiking boots to help break them in, and I had my briefcase with my laptop in it… a quite heavy one. My laptop was made for operating at high speeds, but not moving at it. So I dash for the ground level that connects the terminals, jostling a few people along the way, and stopped by people loitering on the escalator (I seriously considered sliding down the side).
Down to the underground that connect the vast Atlanta terminals, I had a choice between the tram and the moving walkways. I didn’t like the idea of standing still, so I made the run down the walkways.
“Out of my way! I’m Frank J.!”
Finally I shove my way up the escalator to terminal A and then run for gate 27, my feet and briefcase becoming heavier with each step.
23… 25… Almost there… Ahh! A series of shops before 27! Must… run… further…
As one of my lungs nears bursting, I present my boarding pass to the attendant saying, “I’m… for… the flight… to… Albuquerque.”
“Sorry, sonny boy, but that one just left the gate.”
I checked my watch. I still had a minute! I hobbled to the window and watched the plane roll away. Taking a deep breath, I shouted, “Damn you!” while shaking my fist.
Still trying to regain my breath, I stumbled to the Delta desk. “Any… other… flights… to… Albuquerque?”
“None until tomorrow. We could have you out to Dallas at 7:30am and there you could get to Albuquerque by about 10:20am.”
“No… connections– I… never took… track & field.”
“Direct flight leaves here at 10:30am and gets there about 11:30am.”
“Gimme!”
That makes two times in a row I got stuck in Atlanta. Since the trouble was mechanical, they put me up in a Holiday Inn with a voucher for $10 for dinner and $4 for breakfast (will that even buy a McDonalds value meal at an airport?). The whole time I keep trying to call SarahK on my cell phone to tell her, “Abort pickup! I repeat: abort!” Her voicemail of, “Sorry, I can’t get your call right now. You’ll call me back… I mean I’ll call you back, hee hee…” kept getting less cute each time I heard it.
After eating a halfway decent Rueben at Holiday Inn’s restaurant, I settled in my room. The T.V. had CNN but no FOX News. I hate CNN. Then again, they’re based in Atlanta.
Finally, I get a call back from SarahK. “Where were you?” I demanded.
“There was no cell phone reception between Amarillo and Albuquerque, silly billy.”
“Then why didn’t you bring a satellite phone for such a condition? Your lack of foresight could ruin this team building trip!”
“Oh, you’re a goofy head. So, you won’t make it here today? I’m having a great hair day and you need to see it!”
“No! I’m stuck in Atlanta! This happens so often, I might as well declare residency here. Well, you’ll have to fend for yourself in Albuquerque; if anyone looks at you funny, stab him with a shiv. Also, replan things around my late arrival.”
“Okey dokey. Ba-bye!”
I asked for a 7:30 wake up call and went to bed. At least I’d get some sleep.
SarahK took a picture of what I missed by getting there late.

American Hottie
Damn you, Delta! Damn you!
Well, us meeting face to face would have to wait for another day…
TOMORROW – DESTINATION: HOLE IN THE GROUND
UPDATE: SarahK’s version