Is there anything Cheney can do in his debate tomorrow to help Bush regain (or hold on to – considering the poll you check) his lead?
Me, I doubt it, but I think Cheney should rough up pretty boy Edwards and it will make some good TV.
What do you think?
Morning!
Cheyney should offer to have Halliburton sell some ambulances to the state of North Carolina, so that Edwards will have some means of making a living after Nov 2.
I don’t think Cheney can help unless Edwards is a total loon.
The truth about last thursdat results would help lots though…
This literally has caused me fits of lunacy in the past 3 months. Where is the truth? When you look at the results of the debate it is obvious that Kerry was a better debater. But who won????? The contents of the conversation were in the win column for BUSH…This should have been the headline.
“It’s obvious that the debate helped Kerry. What’s less obvious is how,”
Cheney should do the same thing as he did against Lieberman four years ago. That was one of the best debates I’ve ever seen, and all Cheney did was answer every question in his usual deadpan, dead-on way. It was devastating.
Wear a dark, flowing cloak. Shoot lightning bolts from his fingertips. Summon devil monkeys and unleash them on the media types.
In North Carolina, we don’t want Edwards at all. The west coast can have him. Maybe he can pursue bad plastic surgery cases or something. I don’t care, just please, someone take him.
It’s very simple what Cheney needs to do.
He has to out Edwards. If proof is shown that Edwards is gay than all the votes he is winning for Kerry among women will evaporate.
Show how the pretty boy is a girly man and it will hurt the ticket bad.
Hey, we Californians who have been here since the time oh so long ago when the state was truly Republican don’t want Jedwards either! Send him to France.
I think if he kneecapped Edwards he’d have an advantage in the debate, but if he takes Edwards out with a head shot he’s almost sure to win.
One must never underestimate the persuasiveness that proper application of a tire iron in front of a live TV Audience can have.
People should be afraid that if Kerry is elected, Cheney and Rummy would be free to roam the streets.
It was said best in Star Wars: “Fear will keep the local systems in line”
It depends if he is in his Cheney form or Robot form.
If he’s in the Robot form, then the laser cannons should suffice.
Now there’s an idea for the next IMW – Bush unveils the GOP Death Star, instead of that circular laser on it, it is the shape of the GOP Elephant! HA HA!!
All Gravitas Senior has to do is list all the flip-flops Edwards has made, such as saying Iraq is the most immenient threat the US faces in 2003 or whenever it was.
These guys flip-flop on issues so much, they must have a PDA or something to keep track of what position they are currently holding.
ANother funny thing might be to have Cheney grab Edwards in a headlock, and then mess up Edwards hair. : )
Everytime the Breck Girl opens his mouth shout “Objection…heresay!”
Each time the debate cuts back to Dick, mumble “F*ckin’ Lawyers!” under his breath before responding. Have a list of “outrageous” lawsuits and cite them of examples of why having a trial lawyer one heartbeat away from the presidency is a BAD IDEA.
I agree with LynnGunn about the ’00 VP debate and have confidence that Cheney would win this hands down on his worst day. Poor Joe Liberman (who has never been seen with Ray Walston of My Favorite Martian fame – kind of makes you wonder…) didn’t know what hit him in 2000.
The cloak and lighteningbolts would be cool, too, though.
Thank you,
Chad Dimples
LOL Former Hostage! Either one would be great to see.
Cheney could also pipe in the sound of an ambulance at the push of a button. That should send Edwards skipping from the room.
I was expecting a replay of “Bambi vs. Godzilla,” with Edwards type-cast in the lightweight role because he’s cuter.;)
Yes. He can save us all 89 minutes by condensing the debate down to its essential message:
http://korlapundit.blogspot.com/index.html#cheney
I don’t think ambulance sounds would help Cheney: viewers might think they were coming to take him to the emergency room for treatment of his 4th, 5th, 6th, or whatever heart attack the next one would be.
However, even without special effects, it won’t be difficult for Cheney to make Edwards look like a boy sent to do a man’s job. Just standing on the same stage with him should do it, and when they open their mouths I expect the effect to be quadrupled.
Edwards will be much more polished, with an infinitely better debating technique. He will be hampered by the fact that he’s never, well, actually DONE anything except channel dead babies.
Cheney will eat his lunch.
I’m of two minds about this.
On the one hand, I think that I’d like to see the vice-President give the ambulance chaser a hug wedgie.
On the other hand, that would be irresponsible and childish. Sticking a live ferret into the ambulance chaser’s pants might be a better idea.
Cheney should ask the Senator–repeatedly, if necessary–if he and his running-mate are out of their freakin minds when they propose to give Iran nuclear fuel to see if they’ll use if for power or bombs. Giving nuclear fuel to a Mullah is like giving a .45 to a monkey.
I hope he makes Edwards cry.
I think he should point out that there’s no way someone can be a heartbeat away from the presidency when they have such a huge distracting mole on their face – I guess he’s pissed off so many doctors that he doesn’t dare go to one to have that thing removed.
Hey! Maybe Cheney should answer every question by looking and Ms. America and saying “Moley moley moley moley moley!”
Cheney will dominate. All he has to do is avoid heart failure.
I think that when Cheney refers to Cupcake Edwards he should use something cute like “Little Johnny”, or “the boy”.
I’m looking forward to a total wipeaway of John Edwards just so I can read Rachel Lucas’ joyful essay the next day. 😉
Cheney doesn’t have much to fear from the Breck Girl. I think his biggest concern is going to be how to keep awake for 90 minutes or however long it lasts. I think the Breck Girl is going to get his comeuppance and discover that he’s been hidden away for the past couple of months for a reason. That aside, I like the idea of a live ferret in Edwards pants. After all, it should be a blowout, why not get a few (more) laughs out of it?
One word: roshambo.
darth cheney is going to destroy wonderboy edwards.. that ambulance thing would be funny to see 🙂
Vice president Cheney has to come out swinging from the very start. he needs to show the people just how inept these two have been in their affairs in washington. I live in massachsetts and I can tell you John Kerry has done absolutly nothing for the state he represents. if you research john kerry record you will find he has done just about nothig as an elected official. and this dick cheney has to bring out and not let edwards off the hook
Can anyone, especially John Edwards explain how this works?
“First, we’re going to make the same health care that’s available to members of Congress available to all Americans.
And we’re going to give tax breaks . . . to businesses . . . so that they can provide health care to their employees.” – J. Edwards in Debate with Dick Cheney