Holy crap! John Kerry said a self-effacing joke, and it was actually funny!
And, not only does he have plans now, he has i-deers! The man is unstopable!
Seriously, though, didn’t expect Bush to do the worst in the foreign policy debate and the best in the domestic policy. I hope people were watching this one, because, more so than any other debate, he was the president.
And I’m one of those prayers, Mr. President.
Question of the Night
What do you think of Bush’s almost mention of not trusting the major network news coverage (especially with a moderator from CBS)?
OTHER NOTE: He finally brought up the first Gulf War! Why didn’t he hammer Kerry more on that vote before?
Also, I think Bob (don’t feel like looking up how to spell his last name but still will spend this much time writing an aside) showed his partisanship more than any other moderator. Worst questions of the debate (best were the townhall, and Jim Lehrer’s were decent too).
Way past my bedtime; hope you like the comic and surprise tomorrow.

You only have until Saturday to vote in the Washington Post best blogs contest, so remember to go vote for me for class clown and INDC Journal for best inside the beltway blog. There is only one vote per registration (you can vote multiple times, but only your last vote will count), so make sure to register yourself.
Because of sudden inspiration, I’ll have a cool new comic tomorrow.
Also tomorrow… a surprise!

I heard that Bush’s mention of the Dredd Scott case in the last debate was a codeword for Roe v. Wade.
How devious!
Of course, the liberals have codewords too. Here’s a list of some of them so you’ll be prepared for tonight’s debate.
LIBERAL CODEWORDS
the rich, the wealthy = you
e.g. “We’ll fund things by taxing the rich.”
fair = huge, enormous
e.g. “Everyone needs to pay their fair share.”
progressive (n.) = shrill left-wing nut
e.g. “Michael Moore is a prominent progressive.”
progressive (adj.) = appallingly moronic
e.g. “We hope to get into law more progressive policies.”
choice, women’s rights, reproductive rights = abortion
choose = abort, kill
(this one is really taking hold; it’s only a matter of time until we hear a news report about headless prostitutes being found and thus a “serial-chooser” is on the loose)
undocumented immigrants = illegal immigrants
militants, insurgents = murdering terrorists
terrorism = nuisances
protestor = stupid, dirty, noisy hippy
freedom of speech = liberal speech being forced on everyone by law
suppression of speech = criticism of liberal speech
climate of fear = sense of reality
e.g. “Republicans are trying to win by creating a climate of fear.”
fit to print = carefully edited to make conservatives look bad
e.g. “All the news that’s fit to print.”
Whole phrases can be codes too:
“I support the troops but not the war.” = “I hope the news reports more casualties I can use as a political bludgeon.”
“Labels are only to scare people.” = “Stop accurately calling me a liberal; I’m trying to hide that.”
“One person’s terrorist is another’s freedom fighter.” = “I’m such a moral midget, I can’t even call people murdering women and children what they are.”
“You’re questioning my patriotism!” = “Your legitimate attacks on my voting record is making me question my patriotism.”
“No blood for oil.” = “…”
There is also one codeword that originated on Democratic Underground and has started to spread elsewhere:
freeper = 1. (archaic) someone who posts on Free Republic
2. someone who uses rational thought
e.g. “How can you say Edwards didn’t completely trash Cheney in the debate in every way possible? I smell freeper.”
That’s all I can think of now. If I missed any, put them in the comments.

A new mass grave has been found in Iraq, this one with toddler’s clutching toys. Now, look at this quote pointed out by Charles Johnson:

Mr Kehoe said that work to uncover graves around Iraq, where about 300,000 people are thought to have been killed during Saddam Hussein’s regime, was slow as experienced European investigators were not taking part.
The Europeans, he said, were staying away as the evidence might be used eventually to put Saddam Hussein to death.

Anyone who could see what Saddam has done and doesn’t fantasize about him being beaten to death with a hammer is inhuman. It seems to me like whole parts of the “civilized world” has just lost it.
As for Saddam’s execution, anyone have any idea how it might be done? It better not be lethal injection; though nothing can equal Saddam’s crimes, the execution should have some brutality to it. I’d settle for firing squad, but I’d rather it be the old-fashioned hang by the neck until dead. There would be something poetic about a man who brutally ruled an entire nation, building himself countless palaces, finally reduced to a limp body hanging from a rope, his only movements dictated by the wind.
Well, morbid and poetic. Hey, I’m mad; you want to make something of it!

The Fire Ant Gazette has a copy of Kerry’s newly proposed terror advisory alert system.
(Thanks to SpaceMonkey for the heads up)

Whoops I forgot to pick a winner for the last caption contest (and there were tons of good ones this time). BTW, if you want more cat related wackiness, the lovely SarahK has hilarious photos and descriptions of her cat chasing a bird that got in the house (at least the cat got to relax afterwards).
Anyway, SarahK, who is inelligible because she’s an employee of IMAO, had some good captions:

“At least it was dry in the lamp.”
“I’m taking your litter box hostage till you clean mine!”
“Send Frank home or flush me.”

As for runners up from those that weren’t too raunchy…
“I prefer the garbage disposal myself, but to each his own.”
From Senor Sticky B
“I don’t remember eatin’ cat!”
From Greg Zywicki
“When that stupid human is gone, I just lay around the pool.”
From right
“Fido carried out his plans to kill the cat, but hit a snag trying to get rid of the body.”
From Bob in Feenicks
And the winning captions is…

Continue reading ‘Curiosity and Drano Killed the Cat’ »

Little Timmy, a Junior from XHS, writes:
Frank, I’ve been a fan for quite a while, and thus I expect you to repay my readership with much-needed advice. This Saturday (15 Oct 2004) John Kerry (that guy who thinks he’s better then our great leader GWB) is going to be holding a town hall style convention at Xenia High School…that’s MY school! Most of the students here are Republican and hate this wiener Kerry (I hear he may have served in some war) and want him to leave us be, but we don’t know what to do. How can a bunch of high school kids get rid of such a wanker without being shot by the Secret Service? Please help! And go Bucs!
First off, you owe me for writing free stuff for you, not the other way around.
Second, why did people name a high school after a warrior princess?
Thirdly, onto your question…
Don’t try to keep Kerry from speaking like freedom hating “liberals,” instead, use his appearance against him. Maybe get some ribbons from a military surplus store and throw them around while he speaks. Hold up signs with such things on them as “Remember to Tell Us that One About Christmas in Cambodia.” Or, if there are question, ask if his statement of principle could come with an expiration date to help inform voters. Or, claim that you were a Vietnam P.O.W. who was tortured using Kerry’s statements and it was seared – seared – in your memory (have him prove you weren’t in Vietnam). If any of this makes him angry, ask if you can have a summit to settle your differences.
These are my suggestions for little Timmy; what do you think?

Great, now I’m competing with Zell Miller.

I was looking at the Democratic Underground message boards (I can’t help it; they’re wacky), and found the inevitable discussion about leaving America if Bush wins reelection.
That got me thinking about a worthy charity; liberals are always threatening to leave the country, but they pretty much never follow through. I say we all raise money to buy one way tickets to France for all the whiners and hire scary looking people to make sure they make their planes. Maybe they’d wise up after having to actually reside in those other countries they admire so, or, in the least, they’d be gone!
I think it’s quite telling how one of the DUs notes how they don’t see discussion on conservative bboards of leaving if Kerry becomes president. That’s because we think all other countries suck (apologies to foreign readers… and pity). Where would we flee to that has even a tenth of the grandeur of America? Even with Kerry as president and Democrats controlling both Houses of Congress, they couldn’t ruin America if they tried. Americans kick ass, and they will for all my lifetime. If the fire that is the American spirit starts to fade, there is no retreat. This land is the battleground from freedom in the world, and, while there is a drop of the blood in my body, I will reside in the front lines of the fight for civilization as we know it.
Of course, the battle would be easier if we deported all the whiners.