Apparently the Wikipedia entry for IMAO was deleted as it can’t be found (nor the deletion discussion). Interestingly enough, puppy blender hasn’t gained controversy.
Now, I don’t want anyone trying to add an IMAO entry to Wikipedia; they had their chance, and they voted for their own destruction. Yes, I didn’t really care much about the Wikipedia until I heard some bloggers talking about it a couple weeks ago, and now I’ve decided to destroy it. Random vandalism is stupid and childless and easily dealt with; the destruction of Wikipedia will have to be more devious. First, I’ll have to understand the inner workings of the Wikipedia and then…
Man, this is already starting to sound complicated. Someone else want to nefariously plot how to destroy Wikipedia?
Archive of entries posted on November 2004
Bite-Sized Wisdom: The Final Day of November, 2004
- Bush is visiting Canada, a country whose sole claim to fame is being next to America. Expect nothing interesting to happen as has been the norm for Canada since its existence.
- Iran is having a temporary nuke freeze to “create trust.” To build on that trust, the Ayatollahs are going to close their eyes and fall backwards into the hands of world leaders.
- Ukraine is still in the news. If it lasts another news cycle, I’ll have to devote some time to figuring out why I’m supposed to care.
- Brain scans can tell when people are lying. Finally, a more modern way to tell if someone is lying than beating him with a rubber hose.
- That makes me think of a joke:
Q. How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
A. His Broca’s area on the inferior frontal gyrus shows significant activity.
- China is claiming that the new airport being built in Beijing will be the world’s largest. Anyone who disagrees with this claim will be executed.
- In South Korea a formerly paralyzed woman is walking due to stem cells. The problem is, these stem cells are from umbilical cord blood and thus doesn’t involve any killing whatsoever to gather them. Thus the procedure has been denounced by the embryonic stem cell lobby group Others Must Die So We May Walk.
- The Red Cross is claming that conditions for prisoners at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, are “tantamount to torture”. What! I pay tons of taxes each year, and I want full-fledged torture for my money! The government is always doing a half-assed job…
- HAPPY DANCE COMMITTEE REPORT: The internet camera that Frank J. has is not sufficient for videotaping that happy dance. A digital camera will be obtained. Also, there are hopes that an experienced choreographer will be involved, because it would be horrible if Frank J. ends up looking silly doing the happy dance.
- If you didn’t notice, I’m back! Expect an In My World™ later this week and more adventures of the Hate-Filled Lefty™.
- Oh, and I could use your help. Spam has built up so much in my comments, that it would take weeks of dedicated work to clean it up and close comments for all old posts. Is there any nuclear bomb solution someone knows (are newer version of MT better for this?)? Also, I just got a new desktop (if the IRS asks, I only use it for blogging – oh, and I only bought Half Life 2 to test the hardware) and thus need to move everything important over to it (e-mail, web settings, etc.). I have both my old and new computers in the same room right now, with them on the same network (I have an 802.11g AP that works as a router) to help with transfers. What I really wonder is if I can move Microsoft Office 2003 and Norton Anti-Virus to the new computer without having to pay for them again (legally). Also, while I’m asking for things, if someone could give me a back rub, that would be great.
Fun Trivia
Have a Fair Election or We Will Bomb You and the Country Next to You
An Editorial by Frank J.
Okay, Ukraine, we have a lot of crap to deal with. We have countries filled with wackos who love to blow themselves up, so we don’t have time to deal with someone who can’t count his chads. You think this is funny? We don’t. We’re pissed off, actually. And you know what happens when we’re pissed off.
“Our degrees of diplomacy are measured by the tons of explosive used.”
I guess you don’t care about that though. You just want to dick around and don’t care what happens. I bet we could set Kiev aflame and this would still be some big joke to you. “Look at us silly Ukrainians, having election trouble and causing more instability in the world!” How about we bomb a few y’s out of Kryvyy Rih (Kryvyy? ‘y’ is sometimes a vowel; try getting friendly with stalwarts ‘a’, ‘e’, ‘i’, ‘o’, and ‘u’)? That means nothing to you, huh? You just like being the center of world attention.
Then what if we bomb… I dunno… Belarus? What, I have your attention now? I never even heard of the country, but I guess you have. They’re right next to you. I’m sure you and the Belarusians get together and dance happy little East European dances. So what happens if we bomb Minsk, Pinsk, and cities in Belarus that don’t rhyme? What, you think we’re bluffing? Hey, we’re crazy, muchachos, and all you foreign countries start to look the same to us. You keep up your crap, Ukraine, and you’ll be seeing the Belarusians screaming and weeping and it will be all on you.
Oh, so suddenly this isn’t funny anymore. Well, we’re America, and our degrees of diplomacy are measured by the tons of explosive used. So why don’t you have an open and fair election, or we will bomb you and the country next to you.
Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us – though is still available to replace William Safire if anyone from the NY Times is reading – and is the author of such books as “The Hindenburg Has Crashed into the Titanic: An Analysis of the Current State of the Democratic Party” and “Cats Like Lamps.”
“I’m Not Dead!”
Free Ice Cream Delayed
Sorry, didn’t have time for a post this morning. Instead, I had to drive SarahK to the airport 🙁
Now I’m at work and have plenty to do. I may be able to write a little short thing during breaks (i.e. long compilations), but I’m a bit behind on the news.
Anyway, if you are angry for not having your funny, blame SarahK (but don’t be too angry; look what she did with a 10rd magazine in my Walther P99 at her only second trip to the range). Also, blame Bush and the good economy plus my mad skilz which keep me busy at work.
Well, funny will come soon as well as an update on the status of the happy dance plus more t-shirt modeling pics from SarahK, the IMAO T-Shirt Babe. Until then, be honorable ronin.
I Shall Return!
A Brief History of Thanksgiving
When the Pilgrims came to the Americas, the Indians welcomed the new interlopers who had decided not to slaughter all the natives and seize the land… yet. The Pilgrims, the Indians, and the turkeys all worked together in harmony to grow corn and tobacco and drill for oil on the behest of Halliburton. Everyone was happy… until the ninja attack! The Pilgrims fought back with their guns that had barrels shaped like horns while the Indians used their ancient Indian magic and arrows (mainly arrows). And there was much kung fu fighting. Eventually the Pilgrims and the Indians prevailed, but they wondered how had the ninjas found them at all. This was answered when the they saw the turkeys hiding their bags of ninja gold. The Pilgrims and the Indians then slaughtered the traitorous turkeys and prepared them to eat in a feast where they gave thanks to God for their victory over the ninjas. This became known as “Victory Over Ninjas Day” but was changed to “Thanksgiving Day” after the 1679 Ninja Peace Accord.
To this day, the turkeys have never been forgiven.
Happy Thanksgiving!
There’s a lot to be thankful for now. I really like how the election turned out and the statement it made to our enemies, but, even if Kerry had won and somehow the Democrats had seized both the House and the Senate, I’d still be so thankful of the country I live in and the opportunity it give me, those who have fought for her, and those who fight for her now.
There’s a lot in my life to be thankful for, and today’s a good day to let the people I’m thankful for know. That includes you, my readers. If I one day make it big writing or God has other plans for me, I’ll always be thankful of how you let me share my humor with you.
God bless, and I promise to be funny again after the holiday.
Get Well Soon and God Bless
Reader Edward sent me this link which has an address for sending “Get Well” cards to wounded soldiers. Please show them your love and support.
Bite-Sized Wisdom: November 24, 2004 – UPDATED!
- CNN Headline: “Powell: Israeli-Palestinian cooperation good”
“Fire bad!” Powell adds. - There is unrest in Ukraine! That means… uh… I know this one…
- Zarqawi has released a new audiotape. Critics say that, while it will please his fans, it’s just more of the same and shows Zarqawi has lmited talent. The drum solos are as good as always, though.
- I bought socks from Wal-Mart (mmm… new socks), and they came in a resealable bag that advertised its resealability. Am I missing something? Should I be preserving my socks?
- Here’s an article about rating what games are appropriate for children. Notice the fourth to last paragraph where one of the people complains that videogames force children “to kill in order to win.” What? Should they be hugging in order to win? Videogames without violence is like sports… without violence – boring!
- There will now be international monitors of the Palestinian election to ensure that the best Jew-hater wins.
- Cingular Wireless is expected to cut 6,800 jobs after it’s merger.
“Can you hear me now? Good… You’re fired!” - Critics are panning the Oliver Stone’s Alexander the Great film. The main complaint: Not gay enough!
- The FBI says there has been an increase of racism and hate in post 9/11 America. The cause, says the report, is “too many dumb crackers.”
- Yeah, I’m in full holiday mode and didn’t have time to come up with any good post. Maybe I’ll add to this later, but I have a decently busy work day. Anyway, I’ll have at least one more post before Thanksgiving. Later, sportsfans.
How I’d Rather Things Play Out
Sorry for light posting…
Wait, what am I apologizing for? What do I owe you people?
Anyway, you are probably wondering what my opinion is on Rather quitting. I think it is horrible. CBS should have publicly hung Dan Rather while begging for our forgiveness. I mean, I could forgive it all if they were at least half-way decent forgeries Rather tried to slam Bush with, but I could literally make a better forgery in under a minute (neglecting printer speed).
Hanging; it’s the only proper response and the only way for the MSM to regain credibility.
Question of the Day
Is IMAO notable?
The debate rages on at Wikipedia, but I’m not sure what standard they are using for notable to say if I do or do not meet it. I tried looking up Wikipedia in the Wikipedia, but wasn’t enlightened on what the content of the Wikipedia should be limited to.
Anyway, this seems like an inefficient process with all this debating… especially considering that just anyone can come in and add things without even registering. Still, they are quite quick to delete references to Glenn Reynolds being called the “puppy blender” (even though it’s true) as soon as it appears. Maybe such a reference would better go on the entry for IMAO… if it’s deemed notable.
Now, one person on the debate said that blogs in general are not notable. That’s quite spurious. Certainly some blogs have had more influence on news and politics that the Wikipedia which itself was deemed notable enough for an entry. Then the question is, what blogs are notable? Of course the puppy blender is, but is the not so humble IMAO?
Anyway, I’d like to hear arguments for and against IMAO being notable, and, if notable, what specifically makes it notable. I know my readers probably won’t want to admit reading something un-notable, but maybe write some arguments against just for fun. Maybe later I’ll try using that info to write a more encyclopedic (i.e., not silly, like previous attempts) entry about my blog– with extra information only I am privy to.
So… what do you think?
UPDATE: I’m now decided on this topic. The Carrot Top movie is in Wikipedia (and they are requesting a more expanded article about it). If that’s the standard, my blog is certainly notable.
Evil Gathers!
Ronin Thought of the Day
As master samurai Miyamoto Musashi professed, true wisdom come from the void. In comtemplating it, all will be known. Thus, today, as special treat, I give you blogging of the void.
