I’m a dangerous psycho hiding under a pseudonym and you’re all none the wiser.
New homos have been discovered… and they’re hobbits!
You won’t believe the war crimes John Kerry is involved with this time.
Here’s a local news station reporting on how my brother’s Marine unit has been called out (link for video in lower left corner). Yeah, you have to register (it only takes a second) and my brother isn’t in it, but you get to see some real Marine’s reacting to being called out to combat for the first time (if I never told anyone, I’m real proud of my brother, Joe foo’ the Marine).
I have the audio of President Bush doing a Career Day appearance at the same elementary school Kerry was at, and he schooled those kids good. I’ll post the mp3 tomorrow.
Archive of entries posted on 27th October 2004
A Realistic Plan for… Hilarity!
There is going to be a total eclipse of the moon tonight. I think that would be a great time to nuke the moon in secret. Then, when people are expecting the eclipse to end, they’ll be like, “Dude, where’s the moon?”
Heh heh.
Feedback, Por Favor
There are now seven items in the IMAO for the Non-Deaf, all produced by Scott McCollum (I gave him my writing; all the voices, sound effects, etc. are made by him). We’re hoping to try and get these on the radio, and really need your feedback. How would you rank them in order of funniness? What did you like? What didn’t like?
Oh, and if you have any connections in the radio business…
Kerry Talks to the Kids
In one of the battleground states, an elementary school was having a career day. Kerry thus stopped by to explain what it’s like to be a Senator.
Audio of the event is here.
For balance, Bush will speak to the class about being President, and I’ll have that audio for you when available.
I Have in My Hand a List…
From Wikipedia, here is a list of Republican celebrities. Some are pretty surprising, though I’m not sure how all of these were verified.
(Hat tip to Chris at Flash Bang for the link)
BTW, I have a surprise for you all later this afternoon. Stay tuned, sportsfans.
Who Are They Voting For?
Here’s a story on who the terrorists are supporting, and – surpise surprise – most are happy that they think they’ve harmed Bush’s reelection chances. At least there seems to be more debate among the issue with the terrorists than on Democratic Underground.
Vote Or P. Diddy Dies
An Editorial by Frank J.
This next election is extremely important, so important that rapper P. Diddy has come out with the slogan, “Vote Or Die.” That’s because, man, if Bush is reelected, we’ll all be sent out to Iraq or other crazy places through a draft where we’ll be killed. And, if you aren’t sent out, we’ll make the insurgents so mad from stealing their oil that they’ll come here and kill us with their righteous anger, man! So, if you don’t vote and stop Bush, YOU WILL DIE!
“As you’re forced to work in an underground uranium mine, you’ll say, ‘Oh, I wish I listened to Frank and kept him from killing P. Diddy!'”
But apparently that’s not enough to move some of you. I can see you still sitting there saying, “I don’t feel like voting. Voting is for homos.” Fine, maybe you don’t care enough about your own life to vote, but I think I know of one you do.
Yeah, that’s right; if you don’t vote, I’ll kill P. Diddy!
Bet I have your attention now. Imagine a world without P. Diddy – without him taking previously popular songs and talking over them. Horrible, isn’t it? Well, it gets much worse if Bush, Cheney, and the Halliburton stooges remain in office. They’ll take our starving children who are failing in schools and send them to die in ambushes in Fallujah. All the while, Bush and Cheney will be eating Kitten/Puppy stew while planning nuclear war on behalf of oil interests.
Nuclear war, man! That’s game over for all of us!
So that’s why I’m going to kill P. Diddy if you don’t vote. Hell, if Bush is reelected and pollutes the world with his polluting stuff and things, it’ll be a mercy killing. I even have plans for it; I’ll just sabotage one of his guns so next time P. Diddy brandishes it at a nightclub, it will go off and shoot him. Know what you’ll have then? P. Diddlysquat, that’s what. It will be too late because you didn’t vote. Bush’s Nazi stormtroopers will already be rounding us up at this time, and, as you’re forced to work in an underground uranium mine, you’ll say, “Oh, I wish I listened to Frank and kept him from killing P. Diddy!”
So vote or P. Diddy dies. Spread the word.
Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us and is the author of such books as “The Politics of Punching” and “Buy This Book Or Die.”