MMMmmmm Chocolate.

So Ray Nagin says New Orleans should be rebuilt as a chocolate city and will be a chocolate city. I can’t fault him for that. I love chocolate.  But if N.O. is to be chocolate, would anyone be upset if I were to suggest that it be not just any old chocolate but a rich dark chocolate, you know with only racially pure chocolate beans? You know, the good stuff, made from fresh chocolate beans.
Much of the chocolate I see walking the streets looks like a light milk chocolate, maybe even a chocolate vanilla swirl and isn’t strong and fullbodied like the darkest dark chocolate.  A pure chocolate New Orleans could be made pure and kept pure by some sort of a Chocolate Cleaning Club, or a CCC for short. The Chocolateers of the CCC could ride in the daylight wearing some sort of dark robes, maybe nice headdress as well, and strike fear into any lighter impurities that might wander in and be found in the chocolate from time to time.
Unfortunately for Nagin, there’d be no place for people of, dare I say it, a neopolitan heritage like himself in the reborn Big Eboneasy. But I’m sure some peppermint mocha town like Atlanta or a moosetracks burg like Seattle would welcome him.

20 Comments

  1. As a native of Atlanta, I tend to think of us as more of a pepperment patty and mocha latte kind of a town. In any case, I doubt that Nagin would be comfortable here as we also have a healthy dose of macadamia-nut milk chocolate, and red licorice, as well. I’m not real fond of the red licorice, but our chocolate covered raisons are not to be missed. We’re a very diverse place.

  2. a chocolate city would be great. and tasty. but if your going to make a city out of chocolate somewhere that all of the chocolate won’t get melted or washed away every year because people don’t realize that if you live in a hole, your gonna get flooded. and i don’t like flooded chocolate. unless it’s heated and then it’s hot cocoa. Any way take over canada, make it a theocracy like frankJ is always talking about, and build your city there. then make N.O. not a hole in the ground. that would help.

  3. Wow! That SO brings to mind a poem called “Harlem Sweeties”…Mind if I wax a bit hungrily:
    Let me repeat:
    Caramel, brown sugar,
    A chocolate treat.
    Molasses taffy,
    Coffee and cream,
    Licorice, clove, cinnamon
    To a honey-brown dream.
    Ginger, wine-gold,
    Persimmon, blackberry,
    All through the spectrum
    Harlem girls vary–
    So if you want to know beauty’s
    Rainbow-sweet thrill,
    Stroll down luscious
    Delicious, fine Sugar Hill.
    Man, Langston Hughes knows how to make a person hungry…
    But then I guess he wouldn’t fit in down in New Orleans…

  4. Was New Orleans one big chocolate filled toilet? Was the hurricane the big flush?
    Mr. Nagin, how come you were not with all your “Chocolate Soldiers” hanging out at the Super Dome or down by Convention Center after the storm?
    We all saw the Post storm “Chocolate Riots”.
    If they couldn’t rape it, kill it, or steal it, they burned it.
    Do you want that criminal element back?
    The crime rate has dropped to its lowest in over 20 years in the big easy.
    Mr. Nagin, there is something a lot of “your people” want to know.
    How come you can find lots of buses to transport all “your people” to the voting booths on election day, but you could’t find one single bus before, during or after the storm?
    Give a brother a break. We now know what you are all about.
    It’s true that some of the chocolate in New Orleans is just as sweet as can be-we love you and want you back.
    Nobody in New Orleans wants the taste of that “Bitter Chocolate” in their mouth again.
    Houston I feel your pain.

  5. I think I saw the chocolate city on an episode of the Simpsons a few years back.
    On another point, I will bet anything that the mayor doesn’t even know his roots. He’s probably, at least a 1/4 white. You want real chocolate, get it from the chocolate continent.
    Ntako fira mkundo wako, Sasa Hivi!!! mayor Nagin.

  6. All of this is irrelevant to the real issue here: if Mayor Nagin is Willie Wonka, then who are the Oompah Loompahs? The Fruit of Islam?
    Oompah Loompah gobbelty gork
    Nagin’s done stick him with a fork
    Oompah Loompah dopety joke
    Nagin won’t let the people vote
    Oompah Loompah tinfoil hat
    Nagin is a barking moonbat
    Oompah Loompah ignorant ass
    Nagin moved to Dallas
    Oompah Loompah shallow gene pool
    Nagin is a preening tool

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