(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
Everyone knows that if you’re facing an almost-certain death sentence, the best way to avoid it is by writing a children’s book to soften your image, just like Stanley “Tookie” Williams did.
Ok, that’s a bad example.
But still, a tome for the wee ones IS the only ticket to freedom for a vicious killer. Without one, he’s guaranteed a ride in Old Sparky. Just look at what happened to O.J.
Ok, that wasn’t a good example either.
The point is that you can soon expect to hear about what a wonderful guy Saddam is once his bibliography hits the New York Times.
What’s that? You didn’t know Saddam wrote children’s books?
Of course he did. Here’s just a small sampling of his works:
- The Berenstain Bears Big Book of Burkhas
- Tyranny for Tots
- Curious George Invades Iraq
- One Fish, Two Fish, Dead Fish, JOOOOOOO! Fish
- Mommy Bakes Yellowcake
- Uday and Qusay Take a Bullet
- I Can Detonate My Own Vest!
- Horton Hears a Wahabbi
- Hide and Seek, Marco Polo, and Blind Man’s Bluff: The Rainy Day Book of Fun U.N. Games
- Amelia Bedelia Beheads a Hostage
- Hassan Potter and the Half-Blood Infidel
- Little Camel Fluffy Toes and the Murderous Americans
- Are You There, Allah? It’s Me, Fatima
- Little House on the Sand Dune
- My First Honor Killing
- Charlie and the Chemical Weapons Factory
- “Is That An IED?”: An Explodey the Mouse Story
- The Tyrant, The Weasels, and the Warmonger
- The Poky Little Puppy and Other Unclean Animals
- Green Eggs and Hamas
If you know of any more of Saddam’s books, leave the titles in the comments.
Don’t call me with them, though. Those cowards at the NSA might be listening in.
“Goldie Locks and the Seven Virgins” comes to mind.
“It’s my Fatwa and I’ll Cry If I Want Too.” Bet you didn’t know he was a songwriter too!
Ahaha, you are golden. Sadly, I’m too tired to think of anything witty enough to contribute. Some other time ;D
One Fish, Two Fish, Dead Fish, JOOOOOOO! Fish
That was the best, though some of the others were extremely funny too.
it’s a wonderful jihad
i’ll be home for ramadan
the diary of al franken
three blind scorpions
While we’re in a Dr. Seuss theme:
“I saw it on Bakalakadaka St.”
How The Infidel Stole Ramadan
The Little Engine That Could (Transport WMD’s to Syria)
And don’t for the popular Children’s Game:
Pin The Blame On The j00000
Little Miss Muffet: A Tale of Gassed Kurds and Whey.
The Lion the Witch and the Iman
Sand Wars
Goodnight WMD’s
Allah Shrugged
Are You There God, It’s Me Mustafa
As a former English major I could probably go on for days! But I won’t. (you may thank me now)
Your welcome
“The House With A WMD In Its Walls”
Little Black Saddambo
If you give a Zionist a Final Solution.
Mommy, there’s a Jew under my bed.
Why Daddy went boom.
I know why the caged hostage sings.
Abdallah the Pest.
(I have a 2nd grader)
Child psychology book:”What to do when your neighbor marries your twelve year old daughter under Shariah”
“Where do babies come from?
They fall out of the moon so they can detonate themselves for Allah”
“Why does the world hates Islam? WITH FUN SUICIDE VEST DOLLY!”
“Why Jooos should be turned into soap.”
“To Kill a Infidel”
“Mohammed Loves the Children”
The Man With the Golden Shredder
Heather Has Two Mommies – But They’ve Both Been Stoned Because They Weren’t Wearing Their Burkas
Now this is the best thread I’ve come across in WEEKS. Finally some meaningful time spent on the internet…
“James and the Giant Poison Peach”
“Israeli in the Cupboard” (c’mon…!)
“Thomas the Tank Engine Runs Out of Oil”
Everybody Jyhads (potty training book)
Dorothy and The Wonderful Wizard of Oman.
The House of Dies Drear…When my Vest Explodes at the Wrong Time
(Sara’s Idea)
William Ben Laden’s Classical…Taming of the JOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sorry to keep posting but we just come up with these as we stand around thinking about it.
And the ever popular kids show…JEWS CLUES…you find another crescent, thats the second clue…
Dora the Suicide Bomber (Palestinian favorite)
Youngest kid came up with these…
Danalla – Champion of the World Jihad
Harry the Dirty Infidel
Cafe Chica Boom Boom
Sharia with Dick and Jane
The little Golden Book of Bribery
Horton Hears a Boom
Madeline from Palestine
-Hassan Potter and the Sorceror’s Vest
-Hassan Potter and the Rape Room of Secret’s
-Hassan Potter and the Prisoner of War
-Hassan Potter and WMD of Fire
This is just what I can think of for Harry Potter…
Ten Little Immans
Great Explosions
A Tale of Two Saddams
Little Dhimmis
Sh’ira and Sensibility
The Woman in White Burka
The Turn of the Detonator