Obama’s Senior Moment


Was that a bad joke? And if not, did he really not catch himself when people started laughing?
Maybe he needs to start wearing a flag pin so he could use the stars on it as a reference.
Best guess is he meant he had been to 47 states (since he implies there are three states he hasn’t been to). McCain would not get away with that gaffe.
(hat tip Hot Air)
UPDATE:
This is a good point. Isn’t this way dumber than anything Dan Quayle said? What’s better known: The spelling of “potato” or how many states are in the union? What’s better known if you’re a U.S. Senator (not from Idaho)?

A Story, Bit by Bit
Hellbender: Chapter 26 – Empty

PREVIOUS
Bryce sat on his hotel room’s balcony overlooking the ocean. He was in his bathrobe and had a glass of champagne in hand. “This is the life we deserve.”
Lulu, also in a bathrobe, walked next to Bryce and downed a glass of champagne in one gulp. “You don’t find the view a bit distracting.” It was a beautiful blue sky over the water, but if was blotted by a bit of darkness off to one corner. More wasteland, which had taken over much of the sea. “Hell, it’s symbolic almost.”
His eyes did keep darting to that darkness, and his thoughts went with it. “I’m sure the Trans will fix what they screwed up one day.”
Lulu tossed her glass off the balcony. “I don’t think any people will be left to see that.”
Lulu hadn’t exactly been her light-hearted self. Bryce wanted to get away from her, but he really didn’t want to be alone either. He felt awful about Doug, but the simple fact was there was nothing they could do about him. They just had to give it time and they’d be able to move on and enjoy their success.
“I’m going to get dressed; you should too. We shouldn’t leave Charlene alone.” Lulu headed back in the room.
Bryce took one last look at the darkness in the distance. It alternately looked empty and filled with things writhing inside it. He headed back in the room and sat on the bed while Lulu got dressed. “I hate being around Charlene.”
“She hates being around us.” Lulu threw on jeans and a t-shirt. “She always has, but that’s never stopped us from being there for each other before.”
“Fine, but then we start living like we’re successes.” He sipped his champagne. It was a little too dry for a morning drink. “We’re rich; we can do whatever we want. If you could do anything, Lulu, what would you do? I know you’ve thought about it all the times we’ve been struggling.”
Lulu’s face turned uncharacteristically serious. “I want to have a baby.”
Bryce groaned. “Why don’t you jump off that balcony if you’re going be like this.”
“Hey! You asked!” Lulu shouted while putting her hair back in pigtails.
“You’d make a horrible mother, Lulu.”
She started to tear up. “I’d be a different person if being a mother were a possibility.”
Bryce was starting to think Charlene might be the more pleasant one to be around. He’d really wanted to be around a guy friend right now, but the only friend he really had was–
Bryce tried to shake the thought out of his head. “You can’t be a different person. You are who you are. I am who I am. We’re horrible people — just less horrible than everyone else. I can live with that.”
Lulu had already dried her eyes. “I know what you want more than anything else. It’s the same as Charlene.”
Bryce didn’t want to hear it, but he knew there was no stopping her. “What’s that?”
Lulu headed to the bathroom to put on her makeup. “Respect. Can’t buy that either — at least not any you’ll believe in.”
Bryce rolled his eyes. “Very trite. And you don’t want respect, Tri-Lu?”
“Obviously not; I just slept with you again.”
That stung a little, even though it shouldn’t have. “I was just trying to comfort you. I didn’t enjoy it any.”
Lulu was busy with her eyelashes. “Ever wonder what’s the underlying cause of your serial misogyny?”
“No, because that’s a made up word.”
There was a knock at the door. More of a pounding, actually. Bryce then realized he was still in his bathrobe with Lulu in the room and instantly felt he should cover that up, but he decided he just didn’t care. He walked over and let Charlene in. She was in a tank top and sweat pants and looked like she had been working out all morning — as if the tiny thing could put on any muscle mass. She made a quick glance at Bryce and Lulu who had stepped out of the bathroom, then looked like she just decided to ignore it. “I’ve been thinking, and I’m not going to give up on Doug without at least trying something.”
Bryce sighed. “You have fun with that, then.”
“It’s not necessarily impossible for us to do something about him.” Charlene looked determined, and Bryce knew there wasn’t any stopping her when she was like that.
“What do you want to do, Charlene?”
“There’s someone we should at least try talking to before we can conclude nothing can be done.”
It didn’t take Bryce long to figure out who she meant. “That’s a horrible idea. Why don’t we all just jump off the balcony if we’re going to have ideas like this?”
Lulu flicked him in the back of his ear. “Why don’t we just throw you off the balcony and do this ourselves.”
Bryce laughed. “Because you can’t do this yourselves. You’re two women. Women are useless. Weaker and dumber than men and you can’t even make up for it by having children anymore.” He picked up his phone and tried to figure out who to dial for this one. “How’s that for misogyny?”


Doug wanted out. He wanted to claw his way out of this universe if possible. He was quite certain Ronove had not succeeded in destroying his soul, but he wish he had if that meant an end.
Doug wasn’t sure where he was now. It was probably a dark cell he had been tossed into, but he didn’t pay much attention. This physical world meant nothing. It was the other one he wanted to escape. He lay on the ground in a ball, trying to figure out how to flee things he couldn’t even understand.
“You’ve probably figured it out yourself,” someone standing over him said, “but death is not an escape from the torment. Quite the opposite, perhaps.”
He knew that voice. Doug regained enough of his senses to stand up and look at Stan face to face. And then he tackled him.


Dammon sat in his office smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of cognac. He so enjoyed the pleasures of this world, but he knew that to best enjoy them required restraint — and restraint was hard when he could summon anything he wanted in an instant. But pleasure was worth the work, so he relaxed some now and then he would handle some business before enjoying this world some more. With the whole “bunny cube” mess and the movements of the various nations on that issue, he was going to have to do something about it to keep his own position of power.
Fun time was over, as one of his women came in with the business, dressed in proper business attire as he demanded professionalism during work hours. He could remember what she looked like under it anyway. He only had the most beautiful women in his employment, as why would he waste his time with any others. “We have word that the group Hellbender wants to see you.”
Dammon chuckled. “Excellent. Set up a meeting for them this afternoon.” He had been looking forward to meeting them. There was no reason he couldn’t also enjoy business.
NEXT

Can We Ask?

That’s the RNC I remember:

We can’t win with just negative ads (we’re the party that actually likes this country, so we should be positive), but it will help. Also, I’m glad they’re going after him on the “present” voting on controversial issues. His only experience is voting yes and no on stuff, and even that is marked with cowardice.
Here’s my questions for Obama:
What exactly is your process for picking out a church?
With those ears you have, do you ever think you might not be aerodynamic enough to be president?
In regards to your plans for dealing with the war and terrorism, are you some sort of homo?
While your trying to distance yourself from crazy America-haters, are you going to divorce your wife?
I know you’ve only been a Senator for a couple weeks, but with all your plans to raise taxes to help the economy, I have to ask whether you know what an economy actually is?
Are your slavish followers starting to creep you out?
Unlike them, can you name an accomplishment or absolutely anything you’ve done that might suggest you won’t be a complete disaster running this country?
Is your fear of law-abiding citizens having guns based on you know how incompetent you are with anything important?
If an important call comes at three in the morning, do you think you’ll have gotten your head unstuck from the bucket by then?

Top Ten Signs Hillary Should Drop Out

10) Couldn’t get enough delegates to win now even if Arthur Andersen were counting the ballots.
9) New “Obama ’08” sticker on Bill’s back bumper.
8) New “Obama ’08” tattoo on Chelsea’s lower back.
7) Her “Presidency for her soul” contract with Satan turned out to have an “articulate black man” escape clause.
6) The vice-presidency is still an option, since McCain hasn’t picked anyone yet.
5) She’s exhausted from the endless routine of long days of campaigning followed by waking up to yet ANOTHER horse head in her bed from Howard Dean.
4) Jeremiah Wright offered his endorsement.
3) No realistic chance of winning based on recent reports of flat sales of winter sporting equipment in brimstone-combusting punishment-oriented afterlife ethereal planes.
2) She’s plainly unelectable, since most of her voter base is too senile to vote for anyone except for Pat Buchanan come November, anyway.
and the number 1 sign that Hillary should drop out (see extended entry):

Continue reading ‘Top Ten Signs Hillary Should Drop Out’ »