That was pretty random. Unfortunately, if they DID make a movie about you, chances are it would be directed by Uwe Boll and star Scott “Carrot Top” Thompson.
Maybe.
People are always mistaking me for Will Smith. It might be because I’m almost the same height, and we both move like stealth ninja hunter-killers seeking vengeance for loss of our loved ones in a massive government conspiracy of betrayal, and we have almost the same skin color (except he’s black).
Actually, I’m not sure why they think I’m him. I wonder if people ask him if he’s me, or tell him he looks like me or walks just like me. It’s probably a big hassle for him. People are so annoying.
The only way to solve this is for FrankJ to post actual pictures of himself and Harvey(!) along with a list of potential acting candidates. Then, only IMAO RONIN can decide which candidates should play them.
Socrates will just have to play himself (or by himself, or…). All the Greek stand-ins are dead.
Funny, I picture you being portrayed by Justin Long, the Mac guy. That may sound insulting, but at least I didn’t mention the kid who plays McLovin in Superbad. So I am being kind.
As for who would portray me in a movie I have no clue. Some a-hole at a hockey game told me I looked like Michael Moore. Rude bastard. Probably made him feel better since he looked like James Carvil, but with Art Garfunkel hair.
Ah, the pictures we paint of ourselves. Mine is a “flukey fluter fish.” There. That should wreck your image of me forever so I don’t have to worry about it.
We do imagine what our blog friends look like, though, don’t we? We just can’t help it.
I’m often told that I look like a young, less bitter, less attractive Frank Stallone. Well, him or Melissa Gilbert. When they inevitably make the movie, though, I would like to be portrayed by Peter Billings, the guy who played Ralphie in A Christmas Story.
“Long Dong Silver would have to play me if you know what I’m sayin’…
#12 – Posted by: ussjimmycarter”
so… you’re saying that you’re a chinese cowboy?
not sure who would play me… my coworker in the next cube says tom green, but oh well… maybe edward norton? that’d be cool…
anyway… i decided tuesday night, oddly enough, that when a movie is made of my life, the theme song (the one that plays first over the credits) must and shall be written by this artist… i could listen to her sing the phone book.
Dude, who wouldn’t want to be played by Samuel L. Jackson?
As for me, no actress is really all that close to my appearance and demeanor and all that, but I think Sarah Michelle Gellar might be able to pull it off. She definitely would have as she was in the first few seasons of Buffy, though her facial features have matured a bit since then.
There is not one actress in Hollyweird who could take on the my role. The idea that someone would sacrifice their asperations and goals for the opportunity to nurture and guide children would be an anthema to them. Not to mention the 10+ year old cars, the sleepless nights, the making of clothes ( for children and self), the gourmet dinners of Kraft Mac+Cheese with Hot Dogs and all the other average joys and sorrows that come with it..
This is NOT a complaint, just an observation. I wanted to do those things because I believe that raising a righteous posterity is important for us all. That said, the vapid, brain dead, self absorbed members of the entertainment cabal would never be able to “find the motivation”.
Or more likely they’d refuse to believe that people “actually live that way.”
#16 seanmahair: I would. Oh…
“asperations” reminded me of asparagus.
“anthema” reminded me of anthem.
You are one funny lady. You’ve now got me hungry and singing the National Anthem at the same time! (PS: Nobody uses spell checkers around here except Socratica.)
Frank, were you referring to the scene tacked on after the closing credits of “Iron Man”? Way to ruin TWO franchises with one stupid genuflection to the fanboys. It’s a great movie if you leave during the credits (like right after Sabbath stops playing).
Colonel Nicholas Joseph Fury (US Army, S.H.I.E.L.D) of Hell’s Kitchen NYC is WHITE. Don’t give me that “Ultimates” revisionist horseshit. Samuel L. Jackson is a hack, which is why he makes garbage like “Snakes On A Plane”. Not to mention too friggin’ old. And BLA-AACK. Didn’t anybody learn anything from “Wild, Wild West”?
If they actually go and make an “Avengers” costume fest, it’s gonna be aimed at the kiddies, and will doubtless suck ass. Hollywood couldn’t stand Tony Stark being a patriotic arms manufacturer for more than a half hour – how are they gonna handle Captain America? By turning him into Captain ACLU, that’s how.
Trying to create the Marvel Universe on film will only result in overblown, silly Spandextravaganzas with low-rent stars to keep the budgets down. Each character should inhabit their own universe to keep the suspension of disbelief from hurting too much. And let’s face it – they’re not all winners. I mean, come on – Ant-Man (in the works)? ANT-MAN?!!
I think Nipsey Russell might be a closer match to play Frank. However, he might not still be alive. If Nipsey’s dead, then obviously Harvey Fierstein would be the clear choice.
the theme song (the one that plays first over the credits) must and shall be written by this artist… i could listen to her sing the phone book.
#13 – Posted by: shane on May 9, 2008 02:16 PM
Man, I love Sandra McCracken. When she, Derek Webb and the whole Caedmon’s cast get together, it’s absolutely wonderful.
Ummm… is it just me ..or did seamanhair say something about a raised posterity?
I cant decide between Elmer Fudd or Bruce Willis…. maybe a speech impaired Bruce Willis…yip yip yip yip yip …. ah forget it !
Shhhh… Ima huntin twerrowists…..
I think Dennis Miller would be a better fit for FrankJ. Both are rabid political junkies and, as alluded to in the Simpson, both of you make jokes that only one person in a million can understand. XD
To have Nelson Mandela play Frank would be pretty cool. A Iconic figure being played by someone who is neither a actor or someone who can yet vote in our lower 57 states.
I want to be played by Cindy McCain. The actor portraying me should be Will Smith, but Cindy can play me any time.
That was pretty random. Unfortunately, if they DID make a movie about you, chances are it would be directed by Uwe Boll and star Scott “Carrot Top” Thompson.
Maybe.
I don’t think that would make too much sense, Frank. Unlike you, Sammy Jackson is a complete anti-gun bigot.
People are always mistaking me for Will Smith. It might be because I’m almost the same height, and we both move like stealth ninja hunter-killers seeking vengeance for loss of our loved ones in a massive government conspiracy of betrayal, and we have almost the same skin color (except he’s black).
Actually, I’m not sure why they think I’m him. I wonder if people ask him if he’s me, or tell him he looks like me or walks just like me. It’s probably a big hassle for him. People are so annoying.
I would want to be played by Fred Thompson. My trophy wife would be played by, of course, Jeri Thompson.
The only way to solve this is for FrankJ to post actual pictures of himself and Harvey(!) along with a list of potential acting candidates. Then, only IMAO RONIN can decide which candidates should play them.
Socrates will just have to play himself (or by himself, or…). All the Greek stand-ins are dead.
Funny, I picture you being portrayed by Justin Long, the Mac guy. That may sound insulting, but at least I didn’t mention the kid who plays McLovin in Superbad. So I am being kind.
As for who would portray me in a movie I have no clue. Some a-hole at a hockey game told me I looked like Michael Moore. Rude bastard. Probably made him feel better since he looked like James Carvil, but with Art Garfunkel hair.
Ah, the pictures we paint of ourselves. Mine is a “flukey fluter fish.” There. That should wreck your image of me forever so I don’t have to worry about it.
We do imagine what our blog friends look like, though, don’t we? We just can’t help it.
Samuel L. Jackson is in everything.
I want either Michael Caine or Gene Hackman. Both great actors who just don’t get that many parts.
I’m often told that I look like a young, less bitter, less attractive Frank Stallone. Well, him or Melissa Gilbert. When they inevitably make the movie, though, I would like to be portrayed by Peter Billings, the guy who played Ralphie in A Christmas Story.
Long Dong Silver would have to play me if you know what I’m sayin’…
“Long Dong Silver would have to play me if you know what I’m sayin’…
#12 – Posted by: ussjimmycarter”
so… you’re saying that you’re a chinese cowboy?
not sure who would play me… my coworker in the next cube says tom green, but oh well… maybe edward norton? that’d be cool…
anyway… i decided tuesday night, oddly enough, that when a movie is made of my life, the theme song (the one that plays first over the credits) must and shall be written by this artist… i could listen to her sing the phone book.
Dude, who wouldn’t want to be played by Samuel L. Jackson?
As for me, no actress is really all that close to my appearance and demeanor and all that, but I think Sarah Michelle Gellar might be able to pull it off. She definitely would have as she was in the first few seasons of Buffy, though her facial features have matured a bit since then.
Sorry Frank…maybe Topher Grace.
[sigh Yeah. Probably. Him or Tobey Maguire. -Ed.]
There is not one actress in Hollyweird who could take on the my role. The idea that someone would sacrifice their asperations and goals for the opportunity to nurture and guide children would be an anthema to them. Not to mention the 10+ year old cars, the sleepless nights, the making of clothes ( for children and self), the gourmet dinners of Kraft Mac+Cheese with Hot Dogs and all the other average joys and sorrows that come with it..
This is NOT a complaint, just an observation. I wanted to do those things because I believe that raising a righteous posterity is important for us all. That said, the vapid, brain dead, self absorbed members of the entertainment cabal would never be able to “find the motivation”.
Or more likely they’d refuse to believe that people “actually live that way.”
Spell check is my friend. Dang. Aspirations and anathema. I know, I know Sister Mary Elephant, I should learn to spell.
THERE ARE MOTHER $%&@ing MONKEYS ON THE MOTHER #$&%ING PLANE
#16 seanmahair: I would. Oh…
“asperations” reminded me of asparagus.
“anthema” reminded me of anthem.
You are one funny lady. You’ve now got me hungry and singing the National Anthem at the same time! (PS: Nobody uses spell checkers around here except Socratica.)
I don’t use a speltchecker, Jimny. I don’t kneed won.
Socrates, you ARE a spell checker.
If it were a movie about my life I want Bob Denver to play me. 🙂
Ian McKellan as my 7th grade algebra teacher, “you … SHALL NOT pass!!” >
Frank, were you referring to the scene tacked on after the closing credits of “Iron Man”? Way to ruin TWO franchises with one stupid genuflection to the fanboys. It’s a great movie if you leave during the credits (like right after Sabbath stops playing).
Colonel Nicholas Joseph Fury (US Army, S.H.I.E.L.D) of Hell’s Kitchen NYC is WHITE. Don’t give me that “Ultimates” revisionist horseshit. Samuel L. Jackson is a hack, which is why he makes garbage like “Snakes On A Plane”. Not to mention too friggin’ old. And BLA-AACK. Didn’t anybody learn anything from “Wild, Wild West”?
If they actually go and make an “Avengers” costume fest, it’s gonna be aimed at the kiddies, and will doubtless suck ass. Hollywood couldn’t stand Tony Stark being a patriotic arms manufacturer for more than a half hour – how are they gonna handle Captain America? By turning him into Captain ACLU, that’s how.
Trying to create the Marvel Universe on film will only result in overblown, silly Spandextravaganzas with low-rent stars to keep the budgets down. Each character should inhabit their own universe to keep the suspension of disbelief from hurting too much. And let’s face it – they’re not all winners. I mean, come on – Ant-Man (in the works)? ANT-MAN?!!
I think Nipsey Russell might be a closer match to play Frank. However, he might not still be alive. If Nipsey’s dead, then obviously Harvey Fierstein would be the clear choice.
I think Johhny Knoxville would be a great FrankJ!
Jason, you gave me the joke I should have thought of yesterday.
THERE ARE MOTHER $%&@ing SPACEMONKEYS ON THE MOTHER #$&%ING BLOT
You know what I hate? People who correct obvious, spelling errrors.
Man, I love Sandra McCracken. When she, Derek Webb and the whole Caedmon’s cast get together, it’s absolutely wonderful.
Ummm… is it just me ..or did seamanhair say something about a raised posterity?
I cant decide between Elmer Fudd or Bruce Willis…. maybe a speech impaired Bruce Willis…yip yip yip yip yip …. ah forget it !
Shhhh… Ima huntin twerrowists…..
I think Dennis Miller would be a better fit for FrankJ. Both are rabid political junkies and, as alluded to in the Simpson, both of you make jokes that only one person in a million can understand. XD
To have Nelson Mandela play Frank would be pretty cool. A Iconic figure being played by someone who is neither a actor or someone who can yet vote in our lower 57 states.