Archive of entries posted on 9th June 2008

WEtards Need Our Help!

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Still no word on the T-shirt or WEleadership, but the WEtards HAVE asked for suggestions for making their stupid propaganda commercials:

Suggest the next Unlikely Alliance
You may have seen the ads already. Nancy Pelosi and Newt Gingrich. Al Sharpton and Pat Robertson. Complete opposites. But there they are, together, on a couch. Addressing climate change brought them together.
Now it’s your turn to come up with the next pairing for the couch. Tell us what famous pairs would motivate the rest of America to put aside differences to solve the climate crisis.
Click here to watch the ads and nominate the next “Unlikely Alliance.”
Think of two people who may be polar opposites, but might agree on the need to solve the climate crisis, like Newt and Nancy or the two Reverends have. Who are the two people who, if they came together on this issue, would stop people in their tracks and make them say, “If they can agree on this, so can the rest of us.” Who are the two politicians, sports stars, actors or business people who, if they joined together, could help us reach millions?
We’ll feature breakthrough suggestions on our site, and invite them to join our campaign. You may even see them on the TV screen!

Glad to help:

  • Jeremiah Wright and David Duke.
  • The Olson twins and unvomited food.
  • Clint Eastwood & Spike Lee
  • Kos & McCain’s teeth.
  • Amy Fisher and Mary Jo Buttafucco.
  • Dan Rather and an IBM Selectric typewriter.
  • Hillary and Monica
  • Mac & PC.
  • John Edwards & a Cost Cutters stylist.
  • Al Gore and hard science.

Any other happy couples?

In My World: Stranger Danger

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Barack Obama was alone in the playground playing with some blocks. “Now that that mean lady is gone, I’m gonna be pesident,” he said to himself.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad slowly crept near him. “Hello, little Barry.”
Obama waved at him enthusiastically. “Hi! I’m Barack Obama, and I’ve been in the Senate…” He held up three fingers. “…this many years and now I’m gonna be pesident.”
“I heard!” Mahmoud sat down next to him. “So what are you up to?”
Obama stacked some more blocks. “I’m building a prison for all the mean people who don’t want to pay for universal healthcare and own guns.”
“It looks nice. Anyway, I think we should go somewhere and talk.” Mahmoud pointed to his van parked next the playground.
Obama suddenly became cautious. “My campaign manager said I’m not supposed to talk to dictators.”
“That’s crazy!” Mahmoud said. “I’m the democratically elected president of Iran. Shouldn’t you be able to talk to a leader of a country like me.”
Obama was hesitant. “I dunno.”
“And we both want American out of Iraq… I just work towards that end more actively. Shouldn’t we talk so we can better combine our energies to achieve a goal we both want.”
“Maybe… but my campaign manager told me…”
“And I lost my puppy and need your help finding him,” Mahmoud told him.
“Your puppy! Oh no! Where did you lose him?”
“Israel took him!” Mahmoud narrowed his eyes. “I will wipe them off the map.”
Obama was cautious again. “I really think I’m supposed to stay here.”
“But I have candy!”
“Yay! Candy!” Obama screamed as he scampered off towards Mahmoud’s van.

“This just in: Senator Barack Obama has made a deal with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to cut off all ties with Israel in exchange for five candy bars,” the anchorman said.
“I heard Ahmadinejad tried to only give him only four candy bars,” the anchorwoman commented, “but Obama negotiated him up to five. He is so shrewd. I just love him so much. I want to give myself to him sexually.”
The anchorman nodded. “Me too. I bet he has soft hands. Anyway, John McCain, who I remind you is very old, was quick to condemn Obama’s diplomacy, calling Obama a ‘little whippersnapper’ and told him and all his buddies to stay off his lawn.”
“I guess he doesn’t like black people,” the anchorwoman added.
The anchorman nodded again. “He is a Republican.”