A Story, Bit by Bit
Hellbender: Chapter 30 – Escape

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“We’re going to let you outside for a little bit,” the orderly told Doug as he cuffed him.
“That sounds nice.” Doug had seen a few other humans in this building who were working for Ronove, apparently assistant scientists or guards dressed as orderlies. They all looked at Doug like he was less than human — if they looked at him at all. He was pretty used to that throughout his life, though.
Doug realized in a moment he was being led up to the roof. “So, do you have a basketball hoop?”
The orderly ignored him. Doug remembered he should be paying attention to everything so he could plot his escape and get an idea where the other prisoners were being held. It was all just hallways and doorways and stairs, though.
They reached the exit to the roof, and the sunlight blinded Doug for a moment when he came outside. When his eyes adjusted, he saw darkness.
He looked all around, and it was nothing but grays fading into complete black. The building was surrounded by the wasteland, but he figured he wasn’t actually in it as he wasn’t being ripped apart by things beyond comprehension. Doug looked up to see a patch of blue sky with the sun directly above him. His eyes had to adjust again as he looked back to the constant darkness of the wasteland which seemed to eat up the light. He thought he saw things flying though it, but it seemed still again when his eyes adjusted… except he kept thinking he saw things out of the corner of his eye. There was the silhouette of what appeared to be a mountain as far out as his eyes would allow him to see, and it appeared to be moving.
“The world ends outside this place.”
Doug turned around to see Ronove standing on the roof.
“So we might work together…” He limped towards Doug. “I wanted you to know that my work is the only escape from here.”
Doug had no idea how he could get out of here with the place surrounded by the wasteland, but then again they got him here somehow in one piece. “You think I’ll want to help you destroy my soul?”
“I think you will eventually come to the conclusion that non-existence is the best possible outcome for you.” Ronove stared out to the darkness around them. “Out there, you’ll find an infinitely worse fate. When the rules of this universe breakdown, it obviously will not do well for your physical shell. But for your existence beyond this dimension, its existence is not easily ended… though you will pray to your imaginary gods for all eternity for release.”
It sounded quite horrible, but it also made Doug wonder how pleasant Ronove’s existence was. “I don’t see a basketball hoop up here, so we might as well go back inside because I’m getting bored.”
“You still have the illusion you can fight reality.” Ronove motioned for the orderly to bring Doug back inside. “I’ll help you understand. And when you do, you will consider me your savior for destroying you.”


“So is that Loch out there?” Lulu picked up a chair as a weapon.
Charlene looked visibly agitated from not having gun… not that a gun would make much of a difference. “That does look like the attacks Elza’s people described.”
“Well, won’t the unstoppable god of pain and suffering be surprised when he tries to open that door and finds a table blocking it.” Bryce took his suit jacket off the back of a chair and put it back on.
“Preparing to die?” Charlene asked.
“No. I’m sure Lulu will be able to knock him out with that chair.” He adjusted his tie, but didn’t see any mirror around the room to check his hair.
There was a knock at the door.
Lulu slowly set down the chair and whispered, “Let’s pretend we’re not here.”
“Either be polite and open the door,” said a man’s voice from the outside, “or I will find a more violent way to get to you three.”
“Are you Loch?” Lulu asked.
“If I am, it won’t help you to not do what I tell you.”
“I guess he has a point.” Bryce walked over to move the table and Lulu helped. Charlene stayed back, looking like she was still trying to come with a plan for attack.
Bryce opened the door and outside stood a man dressed in what looked like to be a black special forces outfit. His face was hidden behind a mask with only an opening for his very scary but quite human eyes. There was a very odd looking rifle in one hand which he pointed at them. “Other side of the room.”
Bryce, Lulu, and Charlene stood at the opposite wall, as far away from the man as possible. “And who are you?” Charlene demanded.
“I am Death. I strike where certain rules don’t allow Loch to go.”
“You’re his disciple?” Lulu said.
He put his finger to where his lips would be. “Shh. That’s a secret.”
Death may have been a scary man, but he was just a man and thus not enough to scare Bryce very much. “From the looks out there, you’re not very efficient in your killing, Death.”
He shrugged. “People expect unimaginable horrors from Loch, but when he tasked me to act on his behalf, I had to come up with something actual to do to people. Exploding them from the inside was my best idea.” He patted his gun. “It took a few tries to get the tech just right.”
“So now are you going to explode us since you told us all that?” Lulu asked. “It could just be a secret between us. We’ll all have a nice chuckle when we read in the news that Loch ripped a bunch of people apart.”
“I don’t care what you people do or say. I was given this job to get who Loch is not allowed to reach, but you three have no such protections so I’ll leave you for him. What I care about is your connection with this cube that all the Transcendents seem to want.”
“Well, we do know all about it.” Lulu idle unbuttoned the top of her shirt while she talked. “Including the mystery of the bunnies. If you want cube help, you’ll love us.” She smiled at him and tossed her hair a bit.
Death laughed. “I was already planning on having my way with you two women, and I don’t think you’re going to like it any. Still, it will be a happy memory compared to what Loch might do to you in. Now, come on. I know you three probably think you can take me, but know I was slaughtering people back when you were wee babes. I maybe even killed your parents.”
“Then you’d be pretty old,” Charlene said defiantly.
“You’d think.” He set down his gun. “I can already tell this isn’t going to go down without you all trying at least something… and I wouldn’t want it any other way.” He pulled out a large blade. “I promise not to cut any of you in any way fatal, but none of you are going very pretty after this.”
Hand to hand combat wasn’t really Bryce’s thing, and neither was it Lulu’s. Charlene trained for this sort of thing, but was just too small to be very effective. Still, Death was probably underestimating them, and that was always their advantage. Bryce made quick eye contact with the other two. They were ready.
A vehicle crashed down between the three and Death, showering them with debris. Through the dust, they could see an opened door facing them. “Get in!” a voice shouted from inside.
The three were inside within a second, and the vehicle pulled back up. There was an explosion outside that shook the thing, but Charlene quickly closed the door and they seemed safe and in the air.
“Before you start worry about it, this is not a quid pro quo,” the man piloting the vehicle said. “What you want is what I want, so helping you helps me.”
Bryce slowly moved closer to the man. He did not think they knew him, but there was something vaguely familiar to him. “So… who are you?”
He turned around and offered his hand to Bryce. “I’m a friend of a friend. You can call me Stan.”
NEXT

Obama to Join White Supremacist Church

CHICAGO (AP) – After 20 years of membership in Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, where bashing whites was a weekly way of life, Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama announced that he was quitting Trinity and joining the Creativity Movement (formerly World Church of the Creator) in order to give equal time toward hating the black side of his heritage.

“I’ve disowned Reverend Wright. It’s time to disown the black community.”

“After listening to ministers in my church spew hatred and racism against whites for the last 20 years,” said Obama in a recent press release, “I realized that I could not, in good conscience, continue to be associated with such an organization. This was a deeply personal decision, not based on political expediency. Except maybe a little, or possibly mostly.”
“Still,” continued Obama, “I realize that skipping church for a few weeks after 20 years of wallowing in anti-white racism is as feeble an act of atonement as Ted Kennedy giving a swimming lesson at the YMCA. Therefore I will balance all my previous hating of my mother’s side of the family by joining a church that hates the inferior mud-races of my father’s side.”
Speaking from prison, Creativity Movement Reverend Matt Hale praised Obama’s decision. “It’s good to see a presidential candidate embracing the white, white light of truth. Although some of his ancestors have tried to sully this fine nation with crack, rap, and Affirmative Action, we in the Creativity Movement will assist him in embracing his superior white nature, and promise to never burn more than half a cross on his lawn.”
Although some speculate that Obama will eventually throw the Creativity Movement under his campaign bus just as he’s done with other inconvenient friends, family, and campaign workers, Obama assured reporters in a statement that “I could no more disown Reverend Hale than I could disown working, hard-working Americans. White Americans.”

I Just Can’t Quit You

So if you took the Daily Kos, and instead of writing diaries, you have the people come up and say that on a pulpit, I guess that’s basically Obama’s former church Trinity. And you can’t say they don’t represent a wide assortment of views there because they even invited over some cracker priest to preach inane, race-baiting political views.
So what caused Obama to finally leave Trinity United Church of Crazy? Did one day start talking about how Jesus died for everyone’s sins and Obama was like, “I’ve been attending this church for twenty years, and I’ve never heard such craziness. Leave the Jesus talk for the red states. I came here to hear a paranoid rant about whitey!”
Know what Obama should try? Kabbalah. I hear its big in Hollywood.
Anyway, word is Obama has now left a ton of groups just in case to avoid any more controversy.
GROUPS OBAMA HAS FORMERLY BROKEN TIES WITH
* Weight Watchers
* The New Weather Underground
* Colombia House
* The Decepticons
* An exclusive country club that doesn’t allow crackers to join (or the Jews, of course)
* The Foot Clan
* The Ku Klux Klan (he attended meeting with his grandma)
* Gold’s Gym
* The Super Adventure Club
* Team Rocket
* The state of Illinois
* The Democratic Party
* The Obama family

Random Thought

TRUE STORY: The other afternoon, I was letting the dog in from the backyard. As I came back inside, I reached around the outside of the house to turn off the light, i.e., I WAS TRYING TO TURN OFF THE SUN! This is what energy conservation has done to me: I want to end any light I’m not currently using, EVEN IF IT’S THE LIFE-GIVING SUN! Luckily there is no switch to turn off the sun on the outside of my house, BECAUSE THEN WE’D ALL BE DEAD!

If He Is the Winner, Why Can’t He Win?

Since it looks like Hillary won Puerto Rico (do they even have electoral votes? I’ve never understood the whole “American territory” thing) with about 70% of the vote, I think Obama needs to go on the air with ads saying something like, “Hey, you little pissants, I am the Democratic nominee, so stop wasting your moron time and going out and voting for Hillary. When I am president, I will @#$% you up!”
On second thought, I don’t think he can pull off threats. He should have his wife do the ads. People would know she means it because she hates Americans.