TRUE STORY: The other afternoon, I was letting the dog in from the backyard. As I came back inside, I reached around the outside of the house to turn off the light, i.e., I WAS TRYING TO TURN OFF THE SUN! This is what energy conservation has done to me: I want to end any light I’m not currently using, EVEN IF IT’S THE LIFE-GIVING SUN! Luckily there is no switch to turn off the sun on the outside of my house, BECAUSE THEN WE’D ALL BE DEAD!
I’m John McCain and I (and ONLY I) shall control the Sun, Moon and Stars once I become “President and Grand Exalted Ruler Most Excellent and Super Awesomeness Who Ever Lived”…Muhahahahahah!!! I order this Blog to acknowledge my Superness now and forever more or suffer the consequences!
I have a switch to turn off the Sun. I only use it at night.
Just use the hand crank that the electric company installed in the garage to make the Earth rotate faster!
Frank is grasping at switches now? This is not a good sign.
I don’t know what to say to this. I should say nothing, but obviously that isn’t happening.
And #1, what ARE the “consequences” of not acknowledging McCain?
This is a weird Monday.
Frank – you should go outside eight minutes later to see if it worked.
The answer to the following question may shed some light on why this occurred:
Just how much did you have to drink in the time leading up to the incident?
We need to develop a program to destroy the sun. The sun is nothing but a massive waisting waisting glob. How much “fuel” do you think the sun waists compared to my SUV? It obviously does not know how to conserve resources properly.
I think Marvin is on to something here.
I would have to check with Algore, but I think the sun may be at least partially responsible for global warming. Not as much as humans are of course.
I can sort of get into nuking the moon. But nuking the sun? Isn’t that kind of, well, redundant?
Star Trek: Generations featured a device for turning off stars. It had severe unintended consequenses; sort of like Liberman’s latest bill in congress.
It reminds me of the joke about the 2 farmers, the pig, the monkey and the cork. If you’ve heard it you’ll know what I mean. If you haven’t heard it count yourself blessed.