I’ve been gone and I’m sure I’ve been missed terribly. So I’m here to answer all the questions that will help enrich your life and make you a better person. Or at least, make you three minutes older.
Question: Who are you?
Answer: Hey, it’s not time for the questions yet! You have to post them in comments and I’ll answer in a separate post.
Question: Where have you been?
Answer: Dodging sniper! Wait for me to finish my intro to answer questions, please!
Question: Who are you again?
Answer: Sigh.
Disclaimers: Dr. Duck is a real doctor whose experience is irrevelant because it would be a “distraction” from the real issues. Dr. Duck never attended school and most people didn’t want him to be a doctor, but he was selected by a bunch of superdoctors who were able to override the will of the people. The people obviously being too poor, stupid or Democratic to make their own choices. Dr. Duck cares and if my answers somehow ruin your lives, then I will have to place the blame squarely where it belongs – on the Bush administration.
So what’s on your mind?
Love? Relationships? Politics?
The Doctor is back!
Archive of entries posted on 5th June 2008
Reasons For Obama’s Victory
Yes, Obama wins… but WHY?
I speculate thusly:
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- “I inhaled… frequently“.
- His uncanny ability to tap into white people’s secret hatred of white people.
- Winning candidate in 30 of the 57 state primaries.
- What am I trying to tell you? That Obama can dodge bullets like Hillary? No… what I’m telling you is that when he’s ready… he won’t have to.
- Y chromosome, baby.
- Has a middle name sounds like a dead dictator, not a dead princess.
- Say what you will about his choice of minister, but at least Obama’s proven to America that he can walk into a church without bursting into flame.
- Demonstrated willingness to speak to America’s fallen heroes.
- People thought they were voting for Dave Chappelle.
- Not married to Bill
Your thoughts?
Things Obama Has Less Relevant Job Experience Than
The Obama is the Democratic nominee, the Democrats thinking he should be president because of how he… and what he accomplished when he…
I’m sure they’ll be able to fill in those blanks before the general election.
Anyway, the Donks have done lists of things McCain is older than (which is pretty much everything except his mother), so here’s a list of things Obama has less job experience than.
THINGS OBAMA HAS LESS RELEVANT JOB EXPERIENCE THAN
* A shift manager at McDonalds.
* A churro vendor.
* The guy who makes keys at the Home Depot.
* Successful pimps (it ain’t easy).
* An Excel spreadsheet.
* The guy who rips tickets when you enter the movie theater.
* The average seeing-eye dog.
* Duct tape.
* Any CEO.
* Any CFO.
* Any other Os than Obama.
* Any military officer.
* Any military enlisted man.
* Pretty much every other U.S. Senator.
* The average voter.
Next I can do a list of things Obama is dumber than, but I should first clean up my SQL server to make sure it’s ready to story that big of a post.