Barack hired himself some nerds (“A crack team of cybernauts“) to help him squelch internet rumors. Their job is to “respond immediately to any inaccurate information about him”.
I’d hate to see these guys go back to coding web pages in exchange for Red Bull & Doritos, so here are some rumors for them to squelch:

Secret love child?

Obama sometimes posts at IMAO as “Aquaman”.
Obama is NOT a Muslim – he is a member of the Thuggee cult, a worshipper of Kali (Hindu goddess of death and destruction), and a devoted follower of Mola Ram. He once tried to rip the beating heart out of an American archaeologist. Obama recently left the cult and denounced Mola Ram – some say for purely political reasons.
A WHOIS search shows that Obama owns www.hotnaughtygrannies.com
Obama has six fingers on his right hand and is being stalked by a Spaniard.
Barack IS the spoon.
Nostradamus predicted “the dark man of hope and change will rule the New World for 1000 days before the Mad Persian burns his land with the fire of the sun. Serious negotiations to follow.”
Obama never tips white cab drivers.
Closet cigarette smoker. Inhales frequently.
Thinks about sex to prolong his ability to play baseball.
Last Father’s Day, told his daughters that the tie they gave him was “ugly and stupid. Just like you two!”.
Owns all six seasons of “Sex and the City” on DVD. Dressed as “Samantha” for the movie premier.
Led the crusade to get Firefly canceled.

What have YOU heard about the Obamanator?