If Iran wants nukes so badly, maybe we should just give them some.
…I know, but just hear me out.
So let’s give Iran a bunch of our old nuclear warheads… the really big ones. Obama can say, “This is a sign of how much I trust Iran and want to be their friends.” And all the conservatives can be like, “Bad Obama! We hate you because you’re black!”
…we don’t really hate him because he’s black, though, this is just part of the plan.
So Amadibbledoobledobber will see his big warheads and American fighting and giggle and say, “Now is the time for the killing of the jooos! Arm the warheads!” So his nuclear scientists will go to arm the warheads and OUT OF THEM WILL POUR TONS OF SQUIRRELS!
That’s right! Instead of the nuclear warheads being filled with radioactive material, they’ll be filled with squirrels! And not just any squirrels — squirrels trained to eat human faces! Then all of Iran’s nuclear scientists will be like, “Ahh! My face! It’s being eaten by squirrels!” Amafoopledoople will probably get away because he’s quick and tiny, but Iran’s nuclear program will be back to square one. Top that, Israelis!
Never challenge a Joooooooooooooooo, Frank! Now I’m concerned.
The old trojan nuclear squirrel…. so crazy, it might just work!!!
P.S.- Poor should be “pour”
Why not fill them with money, so whoever Iran targets will get a stimulus plan?
“Amadibbledoobledobber”
“Amafoopledoople”
I’m not familiar with these terms, Frank.
But “Obamascrewdepoochie” rings a bell.
Hmm. I hear squirrels love to eat nuts, so maybe this could work . . .
Top that, Israelis!
Geez FrankJ, I see you haven’t read last month’s Vast Right-Wing/Jewish Conspiracy newsletter.
The most impressive part of this plan is that frankj is able to train squirrels. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to get my squirrels to fetch me a cold beverage when I snap my fingers, but mostly they just hang out in the tree and taunt my dogs. I have a lot to learn.
Because the equipment won’t work and the scheme will probably backfire, we could even call it a Nuclear Stimulus Plan! I like it!
Just yesterday I posted at another forum that flesh-eating squirrels should be loosed on liberals. Great minds think alike.
http://newmedia2.funnyjunk.com/pictures/JEW.jpg
We simply stand in awe of both your military and foreign policy genius! I would have had the bombs prematurely detonate upon arming…but the squirrels…awesome!!!
Amafoopledoople…that should be his real name. Its a lot more amusing that way.
Iran’s nuclear scientists, are most likely like Iraqs nuclear scientists. Most of them are forced to work for the evil government against thier will, by threat of horrible torture for them and thier family.
So I have to say, don’t pick on the scientists.
Frank J. what if the sqirrels are to giant to get into the nuke? Can we just be racists and let that one eat their faces? Oh wait, he can’t appease and eat at the same time.
CAn’t we send them MONKEYS? I mean, like, you know, we got lots of MONKEYS. Maybe too many. Or we could “sell” them parts for their F-4’s and F-14’s. You know, the planes the shawl of Iran bought right before the amatoylah throwed him out of “power”. But we would sell them parts made by MONKEYS made out of really cheap plastic. The planes would just get off the ground and then POOF! all the plastic parts would melt and the pilots would hit the silk and come down in Iraq. Then the U.S. soldiers could surrender to them on the spot and Iraq and Iran would be happy and all the world would love the U.S. again and Obammy would be rid of the hated killers of the armed forces like he wants to. Where’s the downside?
Why the recent squirrel fixation?
I certainly hope these are the larger squirrels that resulted from rampant gorebull wormening.
Best post of the month!
Frank, this is too much!
I was with you when it was old, big, steam powered nukes. Let the towell-heads blow themselves up, rid the region of a real threat, everyone wises up, yadda yadda.
But face eating, mutant squirrels? That’s just not right…cruel, viscious, above and beyond. Good lord man! Where is your decency?
…mutter…mutant killer squirrels fer gawds sakes……..
I love it! Can we send some to North Korea too?
These Central Park laser squirrels were caught on camera practicing readying for
Amadibbledoobledobber and his Amafoopledooples party with the American gift of old warheads
#20 – The North Koreans haven’t had a square meal in years. A warhead full of squirrels would be Mongolian Barbeque before they could say, “Squeee…”.
Oops!
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Instead of squirrels why not go ahead and make Ashley Judd happy and use Alaskan Wolves. That way we can make Ashley shut up about Sarah Palin shooting the poor wolves from airplanes.
Aaron, So what? Better to die yourself than capitulate to a deranged nation bent on wiping out the West (US of A and Israel in particular) off the face of the map in a fiery nuclear wind. “I was just following orders.” lost its validity as an excuse after we rolled into Dachau and Auschwitz. And this group have the same goals. Better to die to protect many than live and condemn the world.
Radioactive Squirrels. If you can make that change I support you 100%.
DesertElephant,
Unless you missed the interviews, these scientists are tortured underground for years as they refuse to work for thier government. One such scientist in Iraq was tortured for over 30 years refusing to build a nuke for Saddam smelly. Some of them “work” for the government and continue to make lots of “mistakes” on the weapons to prevent thier use.