Follow Up on the Dick Cheney Assassination Squad

Everyone seems pretty interested in the Dick Cheney assassination squad, so I may have to do some investigative reporting into it. Is it anything like Charlie’s Angels? Do they have dinosaurs with rocket launchers as part of the team? How about dinosaurs with lasers cannons? How does one join?

I’ll need to figure out how to contact Dick Cheney and see if he’ll deny its existence. That would pretty much prove it’s real since everyone knows you can’t trust Dick Cheney.

We’ll probably find out the truth soon enough, though, as Dennis Kucinich is now on the case. Then again, that time it seemed like he had photographic evidence of weird space aliens it ended up it was just a picture of him that had been mis-filed.

17 Comments

  1. dennis kucinach is one of those people that make Darwins theory improbable. There is no way that evolved into intellegent life. The people that keep electing it have to be even dumber.
    Dick Cheney is chuckling to himself: Ha, they are sending a mosquito gram to do a mans job.

  2. Last I heard about Dick Cheney, he last seen in a small Kansas town smoking a cigar, in the pasenger seat of a black and red GMC van diven by some big, buff black guy with a funny hair cut and a ton of gold chains.

  3. Dennis Kucinich reminds me of that episode of South Park where the school counselor finds some hot hippie chick, goes to India and drops acid (a la The Beatles). Now if he came back like Chief after his encounter with the Super Adventure Club, we’d pretty much have a grip on his Blaggo-like sanity levels.

  4. Wait, Dick Cheney’s really smart. So he knows that if you ask him about the assassination squad and he says there isn’t one, you’ll know that there is one. So maybe he’ll say there IS one just to throw you off. But then he’ll figure you’re smart too, so he’ll say there isn’t one to throw you off of what he thought would throw you off.

    I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me…

  5. You’ll have to put the word out on the street that you want an audience with Dick Cheney. I think he’s still in that undisclosed location.
    Oh, and Heh Heh! You said Dennis Kucinich LOL!

  6. Funny you mention this said assassination squad.
    Cheney was recently off his feet and in a wheelchair during this year’s transition in Washington D.C.
    The movers were hauling several boxes out of his basement when Dick spotted boxes labeled ‘Torture Equipment’ and insisted he handle those personally

  7. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » Dick Cheney Assassination Squad FAQ

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