That Phantom Menace review made me think how there have been a lot of movies lately that are really long, have tons of effects on screen, and no story anyone can follow or really cares to. Of course, there was the Star Wars prequels (did that whole trilogy make any sense?), the Matrix sequels (no one had any idea what was going on there other than that lots of stuff was happening), the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels (again, tons and tons of crap on screen, not quite sure why I was supposed to care), the Transformers movies (those Transformer designs were so complex, they could be standing still and you wouldn’t know what’s going on), and the King Kong remake (the original was an hour and forty minutes, but for the remake someone thought that story needed three hours so lots of weird crap could attack everybody). I haven’t seen Avatar, but I kind of expect the same problem given how simple the story looks yet its two hours and forty minutes and filled with special effects.
The thing is, I think I thought I enjoyed most of these movies the first time I watched them, but now thinking about them and trying to remember what happened in them gives me a headache. In the end, I was about as drawn into their stories as I was for a fireworks display — one that went on for three hours. I don’t want to sound like an old fogey, but please slow it down, Hollywood. Simpler stories, less stuff happening on screen. And shorter!
And please have more like Iron Man were terrorists get flung around like rag dolls. Thank you.
Big, Noisy, Incoherent that sounds like a good way to discribe Obozo’s presidency. Much like a hollywood Blockbuster he takes all your money, gives you a headache, nothing he does make any sense, and you feel ripped off wanting that chunk of your life back.
So if you are all like Blue and goofy looking, I’m thinking that gay is about all that’s left to you!
On the Money! (you really are a genius)
another pearl wasted on hollywood swine
This is why The Hunt for Rec October is still one of the greatest movies ever made. It has lots of neat special effects, but not too many. And cool one-liners.
Most importantly, it has Sean Connery and Fred Thompson. You may notice that the two never appear on screen together. Too much awesome.
I would call it the greatest movie ever made if Humphrey Bogart (as Captain Queeg) had been involved. I love Captain Queeg.
RED October!
I think this all started with Gone With the Wind, and Ben Hur. There was so much blue screen and cg graphics that the story line got totally blurred with all the sensory overload.
The whole thing has just snowballed since.
Terminator:redemption was the last big movie I saw and it was a huge craptactular CGI boomfest. It spent 2 hours telling a story and then the voice over at the end put everything back to status quo like nothing that happened mattered in the least.
About all I can tell you about the plot is John Connor is Batman.
I feel your pain – but Star Wars weak on the story? Are you kidding??? That was the most compelling sci fi film of all time! You will probably dislike Avatar, also, but we saw it in 3d imax and LOVED it, the story was great the effects were totally insane, it was a masterpiece in my opinion – but it did smack of anti-Americanism. You can’t always get everything you want 🙂
“Little Big Man ” outclassed “Dances With Wolves ” by a magnitude!
And now we get “Dances With Smurfs” !
“Red October” Last of the greats! (I thought master and commander was pretty good,but think about Connery in the lead!)
It is a shame there is not an industry that could disseminate good story ideas that people came up with.
I am know shaking in fear of another crappy Titanic-like song for all of the teens to play overandoverandoverand overandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandover…..
I’m waiting for Avatar meets Abbott and Costello. The next spinoff.
Saw Avatar last night and liked it except for the gratuitous all corporations are evil, corrupt, money grubbing, rapist, ecologically destructive, murderous, discourteous, vindictive, irreverent, bloated, etc.etc.etc. message of the typical Hollywood lib producer.
…second lensman, so what you are saying is it is an action packed, blood-fest with a message?
‘Kill Bill’ was so long Mr. Tarantino cut it in half (with a Hattori Hanzo sword?), and called them Vol. 1 and Vol. 2 >>>Good decision.
All things Hollywood = MST3K material.
“Tremors” was the bestest sci-fi/monster movie I ever saw.
Giant killer earthworms seems like an insane premise but they made it work with interesting characters, a proper mix of humor and horror, adequate special effects and the strongest defense of the 2nd amendment in movie history.
“Broke into the wrong d*mn rec-room, didn’t you?!”
“Tremors” was the bestest sci-fi/monster movie I ever saw.
Giant killer earthworms seems like an insane premise but they made it work with interesting characters, a proper mix of humor and horror, adequate special effects and the strongest defense of the 2nd amendment in movie history.
“Broke into the wrong d*mn rec-room, didn’t you?!”
Oops, Sorry!
The two biggest movies of the year feature 1) giant smurfs and 2) sparkly vampires.
This country is going to hell in a handbasket.
Best movie evah: Quest for Fire
And you forgot to mention District 9, in which CGI aliens have emotional twists and turns escaping from the stupid humans (except for that one schlub who gets nasty alien DNA on himself, and turns into a prawn himself – which was too funny!).
As far as an illogical story goes, District 9 will beat anything else out there, except maybe Star Trek movies.
The last great movie…..
“The Professional”
Avatar was a suckfest. Dances With Wolves meets the smurfs that was shot inside an aquarium with the water drained.