Think Positive

If you’re looking for a pep talk in light of Bloody Sunday, here are some good words from the Whitler. Also, here’s some positive thinking from Sarah Palin.

There’s no use in conservatives getting too down in any political defeat, because we’ll always still be our awesome selves, and liberals will still be losers who smell weird. If we want to succeed, we have to have a positive attitude and never freak out too much because things didn’t go our way. It’s exactly the same as when you try to put a saddle on a grizzly bear and ride it like a horse; if you lose your confidence or panic, disaster could strike.

We’re conservatives; we have useful things to do. We don’t have time for lots of useless yelling and freaking out. We know what we need to do and we do it, and afterward everyone is like, “Holy crap! He’s riding a grizzly bear!”

18 Comments

  1. “Riding the grizzly”. I like that.

    I teach self defense classes. When something bad happens the reaction is NOT “EEEK I’m scared!” but “But I knew this could happen and I know what to do.” Same applies here.

    “Holy crap, he’;s riding a grizzly bear” is my new tag line. Thanks.

  2. Live Free, I didn’t get through the first sentence before I thought, “This has to be Russia.” From the article:

    It is unclear what caused the bear to attack Potapov, 25, nearly severing one of his legs while dragging him across the ice by his neck. Medical personnel were unable to save Potapov, who died at the scene.

    Unclear? To whom? Unclear to liberals? It’s a bear!

    Back to topic, I think Whitler’s right about the rank and file not being overjoyed about HCR passage. I talked to my favorite liberal last night. She half-joked, “I’m really trying hard to get excited about health care reform, but I just can’t.” She wasn’t very excited about the new Obama speechifying tour either.

  3. How many hippies a day should be fed to a grizzly bear? Is one enough?

    How much water does it take to purge the hallucinogenic chemicals out of the bear after consuming said hippies?

    If I start riding a grizzly bear like a horse, I want to be sure to care for it correctly.

  4. Hmmm, riding a grizzly bear? Wouldn’t that be a super awesome peachy keen way to hunt hippies? First they run in an absolute panic then the bear jumps on them and eats them. Nice and neat.

    It’s ideas like that that make IMAO the awesomest!

  5. Bears make impressive rugs, bad modes of transportation. Just illustrating that lunatic positive thinking usually ends badly. Sarah Palin positively would shoot the Grizzly Bear, I think.

  6. I forget the band (Molly Hatchet?) that had album cover art of some viking chick riding a polar bear. We should ask her for advice since she looked like she was pretty good at it.

    Also, letting Barrycare pass is kind of a good thing. When we repeal it, it’ll be all the more satisfying. Imagine a fat useless teenager interacting with his dad:

    Dad, will you buy me a donut? No, son. We can’t afford it right now. But dad, all the cool kids like England and Canada have donuts! Sorry son, I said no.

    Then the fat kid would pout for a few minutes and that would be the end of it. Kinda boring. But what if it went more like:

    Dad, will you buy me a donut? Sure! Here ya go! And at that very moment that the donut began to make contact with the fat kid’s fat slobbery libs, and the pleasure center in the fat kid’s fat slobbery brain began to engage, dad turns around and swats the donut out of the fat kid’s face and yelled “NO! I CHANGED MY MIND! YOU’RE GOING ON A CRASH DIET STARTING NOW!!!”

    Doesn’t that sound more fun? I think it’ll be much more enjoyable to snatch healthcare reform from their greedy moonbat fingers than to simply deny them it from the outset.

  7. I rode my grizzly bear to work last week and a cop tried to pull me over for speeding. But after he took one good look at “Spencer the Grizzly Bear” he figured he better head to Dunkin Donuts and see if that 2 for 1 deal was still going. Plus nobody, I mean NOBODY cuts me off. And forget other drivers flipping me off or displaying any of that “road rage” stuff at me. Really, it’s awesome. Would I make something like that up???

  8. Saddling a grizzly bear is great description of the attempts of Lib and Cons to endlessly expand the military or government while blindly believing they can always control it. The ability to control it is based on an equation of how empty its stomach if food easier to get then you is within reach.

    I have been thinking lately about the theory that American politics is a circle where eventually the ultra far left and right meet back up. I think I would describe it much like a Horseshoe with statism and the military being the gap.

  9. So I am awesome and my mind doesn’t always work like you little folk’s so I will ask the question: Is shiggz a troll or just smoking something that makes him completely incoherent?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.