Did you know Poland had bears in their army to help fight the Nazis? That answer is no, no you did not know that. It’s sort of like a more primitive version of my dinosaurs with rocket launchers idea. And it would be really cool to have a whole division of attack bears at our disposal.

“Negotiations have failed! Send in the bears!”

I guess that does sound a bit more like something Russians in comic books would do, but it’s still pretty cool. And we could use other, more available animals in the military now to work our way up to dinosaurs. Like we could have a rhinoceros with mounted gattling guns, an emu with a bazooka — which would technically be a dinosaur with rocket launcher — and elephants with all sorts of weaponry.

In fact, when you think of it, elephants were the original dinosaurs with rocket launchers. Back in ancient times, before they had dinosaurs, Hannibal Lecter marched into Rome with a bunch of giant elephants and everyone was so afraid that they surrendered immediately. And then Hannibal smoked a cigar and said, “I love it when a plan comes together.”

So, for all of you belittling my dinosaurs with rocket launchers idea, there’s precedent for you. So shut your stupid faces!

Haven’t been following politics too closely for a little while, but I probably should as I might be like a professional pundit or something. Like, whatever it is you need to do to be called a professional pundit, it’s possible I’ve done that at some point. That means people are waiting on my opinion on politics to know what to think and stuff.

So what’s been going on? There was a debate in Delaware over a senate seat — a senate seat for Delaware (do you know they have two senators, despite being Delaware?). And polls have the race not even being close and polls also show that the race is in Delaware, so it’s like it’s why do we even care. But it was a bit biased how Wolf Blitzer kept interrupting O’Donnell to shout, “She’s a witch! Burn her!” Chris Coons may be Harry Reid’s pet, but the moderator’s of that debate seemed to be his.

And the White House is attacking the Chamber of Commerce for… something. I’m not really sure what other than it’s intensely boring. Yet, this is the big thing Obama is concentrating on to try to get some movement in polls or something. I think Obama has officially gone insane. He’s probably going to descend into weird government conspiracies next… which is hard to pull off when you’re the president.

And while you don’t want to get your hopes up too much, it looks like a huge Republican wave is coming in November which will be pretty much unprecedented. Democrats are having to pour money into races they never thought they’d have to defend and cut off tons of lost causes in the House. It’s possible Democrats may be headed for extinction — though like with the mosquito, that may be a good thing. And the asteroid that caused this extinction level event for the Democrats is called Obama. Good job, dummy. Anyway, be prepared to do some really obnoxious gloating in November. You don’t want to have to look back and realize you weren’t quite as obnoxious in your gloating as the day called for.

So what else is going on? And how are all you people doing? Don’t answer the second one; I don’t really care.