During the night, my wife moved my glasses from the top of the nightstand where they always are to in the drawer. She must hate me. Long time to find them since I would never put them there and what are the chances someone maliciously move them during the night? Answer: 100%
All this TSA stuff has made me glad we’ve decided to drive to Texas next week. Not saying there won’t be any groping.
This ban on caffinated alcoholic beverages only affects stupid kid stuff, right? Can I still get my morning Irish coffee?
Harder to binge drink Irish coffees because of the throat burning.
“I’m with the FBI – Female Body Inspectors. Seriously, though, I’m with the TSA; this is legal.”
I don’t know; I could imagine the Ed Harris Nazi from Enemy at the Gates listening to NPR. Elitist!
I always have a lot of trouble spelling convenience. It is an inconvenient word to spell.
Saw a new Gadsen flag with the usual slogan replaced with “Don’t Touch My Junk”.
They need to do a remake of Romeo and Juliet, but instead of the Montagues and the Capulets, it’s the ninjas and the pirates.
I think the most important part of my ninja/pirate Romeo and Juliet movie is that it take itself dead serious.
Frank, I want a ninja and pirate movie with bloodshed, Scottish accented Pirates, and Samuel L. Jackson played Robots. Not Shakespeare.
Oh I don’t know Marko. It sounds like it’d be a hoot:
“Argg Romeo, Romeo! where be ye Romeo?
Bildge to yer pappy and takes a walk.
Aye, but if’n ye be too much of a lubber, then swears ye to me
And I’ll shove off.”
“These virent derights have virent ends
And in tear triump die, rike fiah and powdah,
Which as they kiss consume.”
Pirates and ninjas, eh? I’d prefer dinosaurs and robots. Juliette, a robot from a humble family of robots that look like Bender from Futurama, has fallen for Romeo The Tyranosaur. Of course, both families object. So they run off to a swamp to live together but Juliette develops fatal rust from the humidity, it’s a swamp after all, which drives Romeo mad and he goes on a rampage killing and tearing until an Animal Control M1 Abrahmas tank pumps a couple of HE shells into his belly. Sniff, I get all chocked up thinking about it…
I’m surprised you haven’t done a “What does ‘TSA’ stand for?” post, Frank.
OK, I’ll start:
* Tough Sh!t A$$hole
* Total Sexual Awareness
* Tickle Some A$$
* Testicle Situation Assessment
I like this one from People’s Cube:
* Tracking Sexual Appendages
@Hostage: I should know better, but I had just taken a swill. I quite nearly spewed it — literally.
Hey, the next piece of legislation these liberal jerks try to pass that messes with our food or achohol needs to have a stipulation added to it tha bans abortions. They can vote up or down on whether the government has the right to tell us what to do with our bodies. You want to legislate salt? Fine, then you have to give up aborting babies. It’s hypocritical to only allow the government pick and choose here.
Arrrr, the Ninja be touchin me junk, arrrr.
*TSA Toddler Sexual Assaults
*TSA Tracking Sane Amercians
FormerHostage…HIGH PRAISE !!!!
Romeo and Juliet with lasers, missiles, robots, dinosaurs, zombies, pirates, ninjas, and Fred Thompson and directed by that Sam Wild Bunch guy.
Harry Reid and Barney Frank starring in Romeo and Jules.
Do snakes actually have junk? And if so, is it the constant dragging of their junk on the ground that makes them so cranky?
All this complaining about getting your junk groped. I don’t see any thing wrong with getting your junk felt up and groped. In fact I rather enjoy it, and plan on flying even more just to go through the whole inspection process…Barney Frank, frequent flyer, Washington DC. PS…And I think we should start checking anal cavities too.
“All this TSA stuff has made me glad we’ve decided to drive to Texas next week. Not saying there won’t be any groping.”
Umm…eww?
“All this TSA stuff has made me glad we’ve decided to drive to Texas next week. Not saying there won’t be any groping.”
Frank, I think this falls under the header of “too much information.”
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So, ninja & pirate Romeo & Juliet? Did you not see the Leonardo di Caprio movie version? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117509
Not exactly ninjas & pirates, but excruciatingly, hilariously painful to watch. Except that Leonardo di Caprio dies in it, which makes it one of several Leo di Cap movies I’ve enjoyed.
Had I known his character died in Titanic, I’d have watched it years before it finally got to basic cable. Blood Diamond was enjoyable for that same reason, as was the terrible neo-western, The Quick and the Dead.
I would go so far as to generalize that any movie he dies in is better for his doing so.