So here’s what Biden said yesterday:
“The president and I, we’re focused on literally — it sounds like a trite phrase — but literally winning the future.”
Literally winning the future, people. I mean, he said it twice. And since it’s a literal thing he’s doing, I figured I should be able to draw a picture of it. So here’s my drawing of what literally winning the future looks like:
Okay, I couldn’t draw it BECAUSE IT’S NOT AN ACTUAL THING! So instead I drew Q*bert. Whatever happened to him?
It’s pretty easy to get an image of failing the present, though, since it’s on the news every day. And now we got this whole Libya thing, which maybe we should be involved in, but we definitely should have a different president for that. I mean, for the longest time, he wouldn’t even make a statement about Qdaffy, and then suddenly we’re in a war. And no one has any idea what they’re doing. It was like they’re were just talking big about how something had to be done about Libya but didn’t really expect to actually do it themselves.
INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY: “We should totally do something about Libya.”
OBAMA: “Yeah, it’s like awful there. We should do something.”
INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY: “We should pass a resolution to enforce a no fly zone.”
OBAMA: “Yeah. Totally.”
INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY: “So here we go to the U.N. We’re going to pass this.”
OBAMA: “Good. We’re doing the right thing. I’m voting yes.”
INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY: “Well, it’s passed.”
OBAMA: “That’s a good thing.”
INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY: “…”
OBAMA: “…”
INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY: “WHAT DID WE JUST DO?!!! ARE WE IN A WAR LIBYA!! WHAT DID WE JUST DO?!!!”
OBAMA: “I DON’T KNOW! I’M JUST A COMMUNITY ORGANIZER! …Wait. I know what we’ll do. We’ll not call it a war. We’ll call it a ‘kinetic military action‘.”
INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY: “HOW DOES RELABELING IT FIX ANYTHING?!!!”
OBAMA: “I DON’T KNOW!!! STOP YELLING AT ME!!! Man, I hope this doesn’t affect my vacation in Brazil.”
I think we’ve got the rest of the world — especially Europe — used to the idea that America is in charge and will handle anything serious. But when we have an unserious president, basically no one’s in charge and it’s a big mess. You want to know why Obama didn’t consult Congress before going to war? Because he doesn’t know how war works. This is not something he ever took seriously; he expected a presidency full of passing big liberal programs like health care, not any new military action. Still, the guy spent eight years whining about our wars and then goes ahead and starts his own with not exactly on what he’s doing or trying to accomplish — which is just another drop in the bucket with all the other problems he can’t handle. So of course he’s focused on winning the future; what other message does he have right now then, “This will all work out awesome… long after we’re all dead.”
As Q*bert would say, “@!#?@!”
Spot on.
I looked at the drawing, and it was WTF to me.
My friends!
I have found an image Biden considers a perfect example of the Obama-Biden method for winning the future!
Click the neat blue text for that picture!
Unless the don’t mind being associated with Charlie Sheens new catch phrase of insanity, they ought to rethink their’s…
I hope WTF isn’t Libya. That would be disappointing. I’d rather win Norway.
I dunno know. I kind of like the idea of handing this war…sorry I meant to say Kinetic Military Action, over to Europe and the Arab League. It is sorta like whenever my kids whine when I won’t let them do adult stuff so every once in a while I let them attempt it just to see how much it suck being an adult. Then the next time they whine I remind them of what happens when I let them try big people work.
“Allies”- Hey, America! We don’t want you to invade and act all unilaterally and stuff!
USA- Ok, so do you guys want to do it?
“Allies”- Yeah, we are smart you are fat and dumb. We can totally handle it.
USA- Ok, fine but remember what happened when we let you handle Libya.
“Allies”-Oh yeah, that was kinda hard and not as much fun as we thought. Maybe you should just do it while we play XBox.
USA-Yeah, that is a good idea. See ya later.
And then we bomb the dog mess out of whatever country is bothering us.
Is that his penis or a nose?
Whatever it is, I sure don’t want it my business.
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Q*bert still lives as an awesome screensaver for *nix.
Non-Random Thought: Was Q*bert the first thing ever named with a special character?
And as for winning the future, here’s a picture of Happy Joe Biden actually trying to win the future:
Biden Wins the Future!
Charlie Sheen, Barack Obama and Joe Biden…WINNING!!
BTW when they say winning the future it means the annihilation their only enemies….conservative Americans who don’t vote democrat.
-side note-
That creepy Wassermann Schultz lady just said keeping Obamacare is “A Matter Of Life Or Death.”
Don’t be confused by people like your democrat grandmother/neighbors with the defeat of Hillary the Stalinist types now have total control over the democrat party and its entire machine. I would bet dollars to donuts this means deep in her mind she wouldn’t mind killing those of us who are trying to undo it.
Well, if “winning the future” means taking money from people who aren’t even born yet to pay for massive, wasteful social programs the libs want RIGHT NOW, I’d say, “Mission Accomplished!”
Whatever happened to “Taxation without representation is tyranny?” Future generations cannot vote, so taking their money now violates a fundamental human right that was recognized by America’s founders. We need to make a balanced budget a matter of Constitutional import. When the libs gaily ignore the Constitutional limits on their power, we reciprocate by passing laws outlawing abortion at any stage (what Constitutional right to privacy? I don’t see that in there), and mandating beatings of uppity prisoners (cruel and unusual? Well, it’s just cruel, not unusual, because we’re making it mandatory, and you’ll notice the Constitution only prohibits punishments that are both cruel AND unusual), and the arming of all citizens (the right to bear arms is very close to a duty to bear arms, as far as we are concerned), and mandatory military service (that duty to bear arms again – a well-armed militia is essential, you know, it says so right there), and prohibiting access to attorneys for arrestees until after the full confession has been extracted (right to counsel? I don’t see that in there), and so on, just crushing all those Constitutional freedoms the libs cherish so much, whether they actually are in the Constitution or not. This ignoring the Constitution needs to work both ways.
“Winning the Future” Is also the name of one of Newt Gingrich’s books ironically.
Constitution 2.0
Article XXVII
Never elect a president in war time who’s a thin skinned beta male, who’s wife wont let him have dairy products, eats arugula, wheres mom jeans, grades himself B+.
I love the whole idea of Obama’s ‘Winning the Future’ slogan, I just think they came up with it too soon. Next Summer would have been a better time to go big with the campaign platform of Winning the Future! I would totally get a bumper sticker, t-shirt, hat, or anything else with the slogan,“Obama-Biden 2012:WTF!”
She’s half right.
Will I get sent to Room 101 if I say that Obama and Biden’s newspeak are doubleplusungood?
It could have been worse…he could have said they were ‘totally winning the future or even worse then that… ‘like totally winning the future.
So I heard that the Brits fired off like 25% of a cruise missile and they have now depleted their entire inventory by 20%! Nice! So how come we here in America have like a gazillion cruise missiles and Europe has like 10 total and they are now whining like the dickens because they like used one? I think we are paying for Euroweenie long vacations and socialism when we go to work every day and pay our massive taxes and fund our super awesome Military!!!
So, if you had used up 20% of your inventory…would you really be a big enough wuss to admit it publically? I’d be telling the evil doers that it’s about time we used some of our Cruise Missiles! We have so many of them they are falling out of our storage facilities because the doors broke open….they couldn’t contain the massive quantities anymore!!!! And we don’t have any land left to build more storage facilities so Cruise Missiles are just laying all over the ground here in the US just waiting for a mission to go and do some splodin’ in the Middle East!!! Our children each own one of their own as a pet! We each carry one on our car top to help store them. That’s about like 400,000,000 and there are still gobs of them laying all over!!! And at least 75% of them are nukes! We are like totally buried in nuclear cruise missiles!!!
Whining the Future would be more accurate.
Duh! WINNING!
I don’t like that picture. It’s freaking me out. If I saw something like that walking around, I’d stomp it.
Like, LITERALLY, that picture is making my head explode.
Apparently, the future is some kind of prize – like winning a giant, cuddly teddy bear at the Moron County Fair.
So jo-jo bidet says that he and the disgrace occupying the White House were focused “literally” winning the future. Literate and jo-jo are mutually exclusive.
Q*bert would be a better president than the disgrace occupying the White House. Even Spiro was a better VP than the literal moron that we have now.
We win when these two idiots lose.
Hadn’t the disgrace occupying the White House better be careful that the european pilots don’t miss and bomb Kenya by mistake?
IMPORTANT NOTE: The kinetic military action in Libya will now be termed a time-limited, scope-limited military action.
Those who fail to follow this change will be executed.
“Kinetic Military Action”?? This kind of thing would be a lot easier to take if this ‘administration’ would just publish an English-Assclown dictionary….
@ussjimmycarter: According to a post on Blackfive yesterday, “approximately 110 cruise missiles” were fired by US and British forces the day before. I guess the US fired 109 of them. (There is awesome video of a Tomahawk missile – cheez, the missiles even have American NAMES – being launched from the destroyer USS Barry.) Plenty more where those came from. Knee-deep in ’em at my house. Last year’s models – must go now! Hell, we’re givin’ ’em away! (To the British, I guess, who don’t have much storage space on that island of theirs, and have to keep rotating their stock.)
You know how Navy ships are often named after old presidents? I look forward to the future creation of the U.S.S. Obama.
Its a submarine that hides deep under the water while everyone else fights it out and then surfaces right as the battle is won and takes credit for it. It also will remove all weaponry and soldiers bunks to fit the first ever underwater golf course and arugula farm. Because diversity is the first priority of all military missons. The instruments are all labeled in Arabic the computer systems are all in french and the intercom translates everything into Wookie language of Shryiiwook.
It will also have two large stabilizers with integrated communication/oxygen tanks, one on each side that will be shaped a little like giant ears. It will forgo the traditional US flag for an all white flag. The captains chair will have dual teleprompters to assist the captain, so he can give an inspiring false moral equivalence speech to his crew every morning and evening, obviously more as required. Also med bay will be replaced with a hormone therapy room for if the captain feels little too masculine on any given day.
This is ManLaw or an article for Constitution 2.0.
Anyone who uses literally twice in a sentance will be punched in the face…Literally punched in the face.
This ‘Winning The Future’ thing is just a trite phase, pretty soon Barry and Biden will see something shiny, and they’ll LITERALLY ‘Lose Their Focus’.
Biden is literally an idiot.
Figuratively too.
Now we need to drop flyers with pictures of Rosie, Reno, Helen Thomas, Shalala, and Rosanne. We will write an explanation that these are example of our female Marines and that if the Muslims don’t start doing our bidding we are fixin’ to send in 1,000 of these women (only uglier) and that they will defeat the Muslims and they will force them to have the sex with them! They will run screaming that lalalalalalalal thingy!!!!
We’ll also drop in copies of Deliverance and let them know that our women are going to make them squeal just like Ned Beatty… Squeal like pig! Lalalalalalalalalalalalal!
Whoa… stop it, people. These are some of the funniest comments in a long time. Literally.
via ACE – “It’s not a war, the president just has a bad case of Kaboomey-Pants”
Is there an action that isn’t kinetic?
Yes, my ex-wife.
Heyoooo!
Here’s what winning the future looks like:
http://i.cubeupload.com/bIYKrk.png
It looks like a mushroom cloud on the moon.
MarkoMancuso says:
March 24th, 2011 at 4:51 pm
IMPORTANT NOTE: The kinetic military action in Libya will now be termed a time-limited, scope-limited military action.
ki·net·ic
[ki-net-ik, kahy-] adjective
1. pertaining to motion.
2. caused by motion.
3. characterized by movement: Running and dancing are kinetic activities.
I understand military action and I looked up kinetic to make sure I remembered its defination,
I still have no idea what kinetic military action is supposed to mean.
How thought this one up?
Sorry
Either
Who thought this one up? or What idiot thought this up?
I greatly enjoy the Frank the Artist posts and want to see more, especially the little ” means ” device.
Blargh, it messed with my comment because it thought I was using HTML, so let’s try this again:
I greatly enjoy the Frank the Artist posts and want to see more, especially the little ”[visual indicator] means [Whoever It Is]” device.
Now I know why we lost the war in Viet Nam…our warfare just wasn’t kinetic enough.
If we define kinetic as violent means to destroy the enemy until he submits to your will, then you are exceedlingly correct, zzyzx.
Johnson, McNamara, Westmoreland. A pox on them all.
It’s eight PM here in Alaska so I’d have to say you’re up a little late there in PA.
At this late hour, I have to point out that physicists and engineers use the word ‘kinetics’ when searching for a smart-sounding word describing a systems energy properties. And ‘kinematics’ is the study of an object’s motion. ‘Fluid mechanics,’ on the other hand, is the study of various Newtonian fluids containing ethanol which are conveniently stored in the human stomach. It is by far the most important engineering discipline and takes years to reach Irish perfection.
Or as Big Brother would say….KINETIC WAR IS PEACE.
Joe means “literally”,
but only figuratively.
Like Bill Whittle says:
America doesn’t need to win the future. America is from the future.
Kinetic Military Operation by Barry? Uh Oh! That means that what he is doing now is storing up kinetic energy for later when it has to be released. It’s a law of physics…science. I have a feeling that Barry’s store of Kinetic Energy when it goes Kerplooey, will not be good for America!!!
Anyone else notice the initials to Kinetic Military Action are the same for Kiss MY @SS . Or in Obama’s case probably a virtual kick me sign stapled to say his forehead?
Isn’t the new Dark Horse comic like, totally, called “Kinetic Military Action Man” and doesn’t the KMAM action figure, literally, come with a kung-fu grip? (As opposed to the more Zen-like “figurative” kung-fu grip.)