I hate everyone always going on about how they “love” the environment and want to “save” it. I wish some people were just man enough to admit they don’t particularly like the environment — maybe even hate the environment. I mean, it’s filled with insects which are just awful and dominated by the color green which is few people’s favorite color. And what’s with all the squirrels? Sure, we need the environment to live (for now), but just because it’s the environment we’re stuck with doesn’t mean we have to like it. We could just tolerate it for now until we can replace everything the environment does with technology, and then it’s burn environment, burn! Take that, jungles and your giant spiders! Roast in hell, monkeys!
Maybe one day people of the future will have spaceships that can take them to countless worlds. They’ll know of so many planets that they could like destroy eight environments a day and never run out. Then they’ll look in the history books and see us all in the our time whining about how great our single environment is when the future people have seen tons of environments way better and even destroyed some of them just for fun. They’ll be so annoyed with our single environment fetish that they’ll say, “Let’s get in one of our time machines that are readily available in our present era and go back in time and assassinate their John F. Kennedy to teach them a lesson.”
Maybe that already happened! All you people going on and on about the environment killed JFK! Now shut up before we anger future people to the point that they kill Reagan!
I’ve seen Starship Troopers. I’m savvy to what happens if we let the environment win. Stupid bugs. We need Johnny Rico!!
One time I was walking to school and the environment pulled a knife on me and demanded my lunch money. I kept my lunch money, but I’ve never forgotten the incident.
My dogs and cats are always trying to drag the environment into my house and it really pisses me off. And a crowd of fruit flies invaded my bananas last week, and I was not amused by their gay antics. (My Siamese – Thailandese? – fighting fish thought they were delicious, however. It’s the Circle, the Circle of Life . . . )
All of these ants crawling around my house are the environment’s fault! Curse you, environment, for your ants which are surprisingly fast and annoying to kill because of their stupid scent glands!
What a stupid and miserable environment! May future generations be blessed with tens of thousands of steam locomotives so that this foul whore called Mother Earth may be choked to death with coal ripped from her own bosom!
Frank, please moderate my comment. Do not let that whore of an environment win. Thanks.
Frank, please moderate both of my comments. Do not let that wretched beast win. Thanks.
If we did not have tree huggers, who would we know to punch in their stupid monkey faces?
I have a dream: When I die, I want my last breath to be the last breath available on the planet. That way, when I go, I leave a lifeless husk of a world behind me. That’ll teach the environment.
It’s just a dream I have.
Wow, Marko, the moderator (likely a robot) is onto you today. Look out for Marko! His comments are dangerous!
If any comment should be deemed safe, it should be one that involves steam locomotives spewing millions of tons of hydrocarbons plus solid soot into the air. Acid rain my butt. I long for the day when all of our rain has been naturally carbon filtered.
“Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we were put on this earth to rise above.”
Truth sets robots on fire, Burma!
My favorite colors are black and red. Black as in burned forests and red as in slaughtered creatures blood. BTW having traveled to foreign countries like the Philippines, Korea, and the Louisiana Bayous I can testify to the fact the creatures like the monkeys, alligators and snakes taste very good. Haven’t tried the rhino yet.
The one nice thing about nature is that you can go out in it and shoot things. Try that in the rec room and see how far you get. “Damn it, Mxy, another hole in the wall, and we’re out of joint compound! Knock it off!” Nature just sits there and takes it.
We need to hurry up and invent holodeck technology (once we get the dinos with rocket launchers, of course) Then we can just get rid of the environment and be done with it. Anyone who wants to visit with the environment can use the holodeck and be reminded of why we got rid of it in the first place. That’s not what I would use it for, of course. Why ruin a perfectly good porn experience by throwing in some green stuff. But there are apparently a lot of gay people around who’d use it. I think they like trees, and I’m pretty sure they like rainbows. Maybe we could throw in a unicorn or something, although I hate to think what they’d do with it. I think Gutfeld calls it uni-porn. Don’t really know where I was going with that.
If we don’t drive our diesel trucks and race cars, then the environment wins.
If we recycle, then the environment wins.
If we don’t moderate Marko’s comments, we all win!
This is what happens when you let the environment win
I’m surprised no one has mentioned our infernal weather. Record cold, record wet, record tornadoes and severe hail, floods, etc. etc.
Hey! ♪ ♫ June is busting out all over! ♪ ♫
(da da, da da da da da da…..)
You should see my potatoes. God, I love the soil… (Oh, sorry, that’s an “environment.”)
Step away from my gardens, Frank.
I just want to have a nice lawn and a nice garden. The environment keeps on interfering. Deer and rabbits eat things. The wind blows. It rains too hard. At least the fireflies are nice.
@Jimmy: You may keep your gardens so long as they are not NATURAL. If you dump pesticides and fertilizer on them, then we’re cool. (OK, that’s purely a pose. I can use neither pesticides nor fertilizer because my tortoises eat everything that grows in my yard, and they are remarkably delicate for something that resembles rocks with legs.)
See, this is exactly why I’ve gone to war with the squirrels. It’s got nothing to do with the fact that I can use bottle rockets…
And so goes the saying, “If all you have are bottle rockets; all your problems are squirrels.”
I hate the environment about as much as Sarah Palin! Did you see where her two SUV’s were driving 70 in a 55 per Politico!!! This just can’t stand! The environment needs to be destroyed along with Sarah Palin then liberals will have nothing left to whine about…except poor people, retards, gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals, transgendered, not enough abortions, wieners… I give up!!! I votin’ for Sarah!
If you haven’t read it, Iowahawk has another Dan Rather report up. Hillarious!
Exactly right, Burma…
I do use pesticides, Crabby: Marigolds and Daddy Long Leg spiders. They’re both magic. If you’ve never used flowers that way, try it. And the Daddy Long Legs live in the bush beans and help themselves to little bugs all over the place. And every few years, I’m blessed with more than normal Lady Bugs and they have voracious appetites for aphids and such. For slugs, beer trays. Oh. Beer!!
The nice thing about the environment is that there’s plenty of room
in it to burn tires, styrofoam,
and environmentalists.
Jimmy, we have an explosion this year of Dragon Flies! They are my buddies! I see them zipping around in my back yard and gardens eating our State Bird all day! It’s awesome. Between the Dragon Flies and the Bats at night we only get a Mosquito bite rate of about 20 per minute at sunset! Not bad…
When I was child I would claim that green was my favorite color. People thought that was “nice”. It was actually funny as I am red/greeen colorblind. Maybe too inside of a joke, but it made me laugh. Now that the eco wienies have taken over the word “green” to disguise their plans to destroy modern technology, redistribute and destroy wealth and kill off mankind ,when people are rude enough to ask what my favorite color is I tell them “up yours”. Still makes me laugh. I think it’s win-win.