As Doug Urbanski said, “Obama sounded like a blustering, tinpot dictator. He should give his next speech from a third-story balcony overlooking a large plaza. He could strap a military pistol on his hip and slap a few fake medals on his chest. Maybe Gaddafi has a crazy hat he can borrow.”
IMAO Reader Metryq took up my challenge to try bringing this image to life:
And thus I award Metryq…
High Praise!
Anyone else seeking High Praise!, please send your Tinpot Obama pic to harvolson@gmail.com.
Because of travel, I don’t have time for a regular post today, but guess who’s now writing for the New York Post?
No, guess again.
No, guess again.
That’s right; me! I knew you’d get it in three tries. Go here to my column, or go buy the paper. It’s nice for my writing to once again be in a form you can roll up and hit the dog with.
Frank mentioned last week that he was “traveling on business” this week.
Really? He’s a software engineer. They don’t travel. Except to Star Trek conventions. And there’s not one going on right now. I checked.
No, software engineers, when they meet, do so via Web conference. Like with WebEx or something.
Which means that either gFrank isn’t a software engineer, or he’s not “traveling on business.”
I checked. Frank really is a software engineer. I don’t know what that is. It sounds like a made-up job like “community organizer” but without all the commie friends. But the company I work for has some of those, too. Software engineers, I mean. Oh, they got commies, too. The commies have Obama stickers on their cars in the parking lot. Not as many as they used to, but there are some. And they can’t park straight.
Anyway, software engineers they don’t do meetings. I’ve actually invited some to meetings. They don’t respond to the invitation. If they do, they don’t show up anyway. So, it’s a real job. Or, at least, there are really people that have that job title.
But software engineers don’t “travel on business.”
So, why is Frank traveling this week? Where’s he going? What’s he doing? I’m trying to figure that out. And here’s what I’ve come up with:
This is just speculation. Informed speculation, mind you, but speculation nonetheless.
If you have an idea where Frank is, let us know.
Put the guitar up on the pool table so the baby would stop going after it. Now the cat has started playing it. Were just sitting in the living room minding our own business, and then comes this perfect strum from the other room. Maybe she can accompany keyboard cat.
My favorite part of Sports Night is the end song because Buttercup always dances to it.
Watching Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe from RiffTrax. With a name like that, I think it’s going to be funny.
Man, I’ve gotten spoiled writing columns for the internet and not having to edit for length.
When trimming for space, the funniest jokes are always the easiest cuts.
You could probably trim all my columns downs into a two paragraph, coherent, serious argument.
Would love if 9/11 were a partisan free zone, like the actual tragedy was that day for 99% of Americans.
Anyway, I love all you Americans, even the left-wing nuts. It’s a great country. I will continue to work to be worthy of it.
Key tip for keeping one’s sanity: Have many other things in your life more important than your politics.
I was in Florida during 9/11. So wanted to do something to help, but was so far away. That evening, the American flag flying out front our apartment complex had fallen off in a storm. A friend and I looked up on a Boy Scout website how to properly fold the flag and went out and retrieved the flag. Most we could do.
What used to take a month’s travel, takes only hours by plane — while just feeling like a month’s travel.
Everyone’s saying something about 9/11 today. But I can’t, because every time I think about it I feel like committing genocide.
I don’t like myself when I’m feeling genocidal. And I really don’t like knowing that I’m even capable of feeling that way.
But I also try to have hope for the future – which is a much better feeling – and if you’re looking for something hopeful, you can always check out the post I’ve put up at my personal blog every 9/11 since 2004.
From the audio files:
1) “…Is anyone else at this point sick and tired of hearing this teleprompter-reader lecture Congress and the American people like they’re his wayward children?…”
2) “…My dear friends, from the heart I tell you there is nothing about [Obama], except his opinion of himself, that can suggest that he knows any more than anybody on complex issues that he attempts to address…”
3) “…Government employment for employment’s sake is something on the other side of pointless… it absorbs resources that could be used otherwise for good purposes. If it’s not helpful to the private sector, it’s not helpful to the country…”
4) “…Job creation, stimulus, made in America – call it whatever you like, the left has one idea. One. One idea in their playbook. It’s two words…’spending money’…”
More audio clips here.
And for those who would rather read than listen, gems-a-plenty:
1) “The Tea Party is a simple, grassroots movement that just wants the government to live within its means, yet the left somehow wants you to believe that they’re the new Ku Klux Klan.”
2) “Obama sounded like a blustering, tinpot dictator. He should give his next speech from a third-story balcony overlooking a large plaza. He could strap a military pistol on his hip and slap a few fake medals on his chest. Maybe Gaddafi has a crazy hat he can borrow.”
3) “They cut away during Obama’s speech, and for a couple minutes, I thought they’d cut away to Golda Meir. I thought she had come back from the dead. Then I realized it was Hillary Clinton.”
4) “I’m waiting for Obama to blame the bad economy on global warming. The only reason he hasn’t is that it hasn’t occurred to him yet. Of course, now that I’ve mentioned it, he probably will.”
5) “Huntsman… he DOES look like the guy who has stolen Mitt Romney’s bottle of man-tan, does he not?”
6) “Can you imagine that the next time there’s a Democrat debate saying that they’re going to have Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin, and myself be the questioners? The left would throw a royal cow over it. Yet they have these far left-leaning hacks with the stupidest questions running the Republican debate.”
7) “These liberals are the masters of the double standard. They talk about civility, but they’re only civil when you say what they want to hear. These people are scoundrels.”
8) “To hear the President of the United States almost pathologically, in an OJ-like reality, lie with such ease and comfort, I don’t like it. It makes me very uncomfortable.”
9) “So, Nancy & Barack, if you don’t want to use the word ‘stimulus’ to describe your out of control spending, may I suggest that you use the word ‘fiasco’?”
10) “The Obama campaign is designed with one fatal flaw – it is 100% dependent upon all of the American people simultaneously coming down with a bad case of amnesia.”
By the way, if anyone can make #2 come alive with even a half-assed photoshopping and send it to me (harvolson@gmailcom), I will post it with High Praise!
If you came here looking for something humorous, you’re out of luck. Frank J has teh funneh, but he’s out of town for a few days.
If you came here looking for keen political insight, you’re also out of luck. Because all you got is Obama speechifying and making the stock markets drop another 300+ points. So, nothing new there.
What else is there?
Well, if you checked that calendar you got as a gift last Christmas and thought, “Gosh, that’s a lame Christmas gift,” then you’ll see that it’s September … and that calendars are actually pretty cool. Because they tell you when it’s time for … college football!
That’s means it’s time for another installment of “Who’s Gonna Lose” … which is sort of like Leonard’s Losers, except Leonard’s dead and most of you don’t remember him. I’m certainly no Leonard Postosties, but I can pick a loser in college football. After all, I’m a fan of Georgia Bulldogs football and it’s the 2011 season. How can you argue with credentials like that?
* One advantage of me running my own blog is that since no one is paying me to be a pundit, when Obama gives some “big speech”, I can just say, “I don’t feel like watching that,” and then not watch it. I assume most Americans felt the same way.
Anyway, sounds like he proposed a bunch of new spending and some tax cuts (I’ll take those), but are we really supposed to believe these are all big ideas that are finally going to create a bunch of jobs? If so, why wait until thirty months into his presidency to propose this when people have been hurting for jobs since day one? Is he just really slow to the uptake or he just didn’t care until now (“Shut up about jobs! I have a neato health care plan I want to force on you!”)?
Obama says all his spending will be paid for, but I don’t think anyone is left who would believe that now. No one thinks anymore that Obama even knows how to make numbers add up. He’s sort of guy we could give a dollar to and tell him to get one item from the dollar store and then he’d return with a new car and tell us, “Don’t worry; it’s paid for!”
* Actually, my radio was on an AM station for my couple minute drive home from work, so I caught just a few minutes of Obama’s speech inadvertently. All I heard was that it’s really important to keep taxes low on the middle class but we have to raise taxes on the wealthy for recovery. Really? How does that work? We’re going to take money away from the wealthy — people who have demonstrated they know how to responsibly handle money to create more jobs and wealth — and hand it over to the politicians in Washington who have shown they can fritter away hundreds of billions to no effect. And this helps us recover how? The left like to claim their pro-science, but their quite obvious anti-rudimentary logic with their obsession of taxing the rich while the economy is failing.
I’m not selfish. I’m in the middle class, and I rather not get a tax cut if it means raising taxes on the people who have created most of the jobs we have. At the encouragement of people like Obama, we’re becoming a nation of greedy poor people coveting the wealth of others, and it’s nothing but destructive.
* So hundreds of longshoremen stormed a port in Washington and held guards hostage and broke stuff. No one was arrested.
What?
This isn’t a third world country. Things like this shouldn’t happen here, especially unpunished. If there are so many dumb thugs together on one area that the police can’t deal with them, send in the military and shoot them. Peaceful protest in this country is great, but as soon as you become a violent mob intimidating people, you lose all rights and sympathy. That’s the way it should be in this country. We don’t want to be like Europe where people riot for days unabated because we’re too weak-willed to stand up for ourselves. People get this idea they have rights to everyone else’s stuff and can take and smash what they want, and then we end up with… a Democrat congress.
* Notice how the longshoremen violence is getting little coverage, but imagine if people identifying themselves as Tea Party members did anything similar? It would be the lead news story for weeks. Theoretical right-wing violence still gets much more press than actual left-wing violence.
That reminds me: Anyone introducing one of the Republican presidential candidates should refer to the Obama administration and say, “Let’s take those sons of bitches out!” as it’s now been established by Obama that’s okay speech.
* Maxine Waters is urging Obama to treat blacks like Iowans, to which Obama responded, “But I’m already extremely patronizing to them.”
* The more I think about this whole Social Security thing, the more I’m thinking I’m done with Romney. I mean, I guess I’ll support him if he’s the nominee, but it’s really hard to get behind someone who will defend the status quo on entitlements for political expediency. I mean, I don’t really expect much to happen if Perry is president, but at least there’s a chance he’ll do something. Romney just doesn’t seem to have any real conservative principles, though, and is just a politician trying to get elected. I’m sick of that. Really, out of the group, I want Herman Cain to be president as he’s the least politiciany, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.
* Wisdom of the Day: “Man, I bet Star Trek’s 45th anniversary and the NFL season opener falling on the same day is causing a lot of schedule conflicts for nobody.” –Sean Thomason
* Let’s once again see what a bounty of spam the Great Landlord has blessed us with!
Astonishingly challenging bless you, I believe your audience would certainly want a lot more articles similar to this maintain the excellent effort.
I love spam. What they use is a lot like English, but different enough to be new, fun, and interesting. Astonishingly challenging blessings to you to, spammer!
The other day, while I was at work, my sister stole my iphone and tested to see if it can survive a 25 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!
So did your sister drop your iPhone on your iPad? Have you considered criminal charges against her? Or maybe getting her some mental help. She sounds kind of sociopathic.
Howdy, just becme conscious of your blog through Yhoo, nd locted tht it’s truly eductionl. I’m going to wtch out for brussels. I will probbly be grteful within the event you continue this in future. Plenty of folks will probbly be benefited out of your writing. Thnkx
I guess while you were unconscious, some stole your ‘A’ key. Maybe it was that girl dropping the iPhones. I hope someone does something about that menace!
* Have a great weekend, everyone! I’m going to be traveling on business Monday through Thursday next week, so I may or may not be blogging. Who knows? You’ll have to tune in to find out!
The easiest way to get cheers at any high school is announcing how many murderers you’ve executed.
The left don’t seem to understand that the death penalty is very popular with everyone except the political elite. True in Europe, too.
Wait, the actor who is going to play Bane was the little weenie Picard clone in Star Trek Nemesis? Does not compute.
So the plot, as I understand it, is that Obama has great ideas for creating lots of jobs, but waited 2 and 1/2 years to unveil it… I guess to build dramatic tension for when they make a movie of his presidency. Brilliant!
The president gave his big speech last night. And in it, he laid out a plan.
It all makes sense to me now. I love it when Obama be speechifying.
What can we do for you, Mr. President?
Poll numbers are down, unemployment’s up, and it looks like I’m going to have to go back to Chicago after next year.
You need to give a speech!
Speech! Give a speech!
Hey, that’s a great idea! I haven’t given a speech in — gosh — it seems like days.
* So the debate on MSNBC… not as horrible as I was thinking it would be. Certainly not as bad as the CNN debate. There was just the one over the top bad part was where they felt the need to bring out a guy from Telemundo to ask a question about illegal immigration. “But can you talk about building a fence on the border… WITH A HISPANIC PERSON STARING AT YOU!”
It really just looked like a race between Romney and Perry in the end. I mean, Newt Gingrich was entertaining, Ron Paul was crazy, Herman Cain talked about the number nine, Santorum was… there, and Bachmann… I think Bachmann was there too but I can’t really remember her, but it all really came down to a battle between Perry and Romney. Oh, wait, I forgot Huntsman. How could I forget Huntsman? Probably because he’s boring and pointless.
Anyway, there were some real attacks between Romney and Perry on who had the better jobs record (Perry said that Dukakis created more jobs as governor than Romney — that’s almost a low blow). There was also an exchange on Social Security, where Perry stuck by his statement that its a Ponzi scheme and can’t be maintained in its current form. Romney tried to defend Social Security, and after this exchange his campaign e-mailed out “PERRY DOES NOT BELIEVE SOCIAL SECURITY SHOULD EXIST”. Romney pretty much lost me here; demagoging on Social Security should be the unforgivable sin of the Republican Party. Something has to be done about it to keep our country from financially collapsing, so we don’t need people in our own party trying to scare old people to win votes. That whole issue just reminds me that deep down, Romney is just a skilled, slick politician and doesn’t really have any principles in this fight. Perry showed some political courage on this issue, and that’s all I’m hoping for.
So that was pretty much the debate. Oh, and there was that funny part where Brian Williams was trying to shame Perry on capital punishment and got interrupted by applause for the number of people Perry has executed. In Texas, you kill people, they kill you back.
* Obama’s jobs speech that no one cares about is tonight. Anyway, according to CEOs, the best way Obama could help jobs is by getting out of their way. I don’t think Obama is going to do that. He is quite certain he’s way smarter than anyone at running a business from all his experience organizing communities. Fortunately, Obama doesn’t actually know what a real business looks like so maybe we can give him something else to play with and tell him its a business. Like we could hand him some keys and say, “Here’s a business.” And then Obama will smile and jingle the keys and yell, “I’m creating jobs!” Good job, Obama. Good job.
* Oh, and for all those worried about losing the tax cut on corporate jets, Obama is going to propose to keep it as part of his jobs bill. Yes, Obama did endlessly demagogue about it, but now he’s decided to keep it because… I have no idea. Maybe he has no motive. Maybe he just does crazy things for no reason. He’s kinda like the Joker that way. Anyone make that comparison before?
* Al Gore is angry at Obama for dropping the EPA smog standards. Al Gore is all like, “These new standards will kill penguins. Someone take me in my private jet to the corner store to pick up milk.” And Obama is all like, “I’m Obama! Do not question me! I’m Obama!” Man, if we got those two in a ring, wouldn’t that be an epic slap fight?
* The Democrats keep pointing out that, while Obama is unpopular, Congress is more unpopular, but according to a new poll, 47% to 41% want Congress to be controlled by Republicans. So if Dems were thinking they could take back Congress any time soon, not going to happen. It takes at least six to eight years of complete Republican control before people get so sick of Republicans that they forget how bad Dems are. Well, hopefully for Dems, we’ll get to that Republican control soon.
* Wisdom of the Day: “Al Sharpton and Ed Schultz analyzing Republican politics is like Richard Simmons analyzing diesel engine repair.” –Matthew Sheffield
* NASA has some new photos of the moon where you can see one of the Apollo landing sites and footprints and moon buggy tracks. This probably won’t satisfy conspiracy theorists who think we didn’t land on the moon because you can’t actually prove these footprints weren’t just left by moon people.
Man, I hope in the future there won’t be nuke the moon deniers who claim we didn’t nuke the moon and it wasn’t awesome. I mean, everyone will be able to look at the moon while its happening and see how awesome it is. If someone claims it didn’t happen, then they’re probably just trying to annoy me, and it’s not going to work because I’m going to punch them in the face.
The way Buttercup exclaims “Daddy!” whenever she see me makes me feel pretty special. Of course, she uses the same tone whenever she sees one of the cats. “Kitteh!”
Obama, if you have something important you need us to know about, just send us an email.
It just seems wrong to now have another comic book called “Action Comics #1”.
So how big an effort is MSNBC going to make to keep all these new Republican viewers?
Why would someone build a giant stage in his library? Reagan was wacky.
Not only did Perry support Al Gore, he sorta kinda sounds like him.
Minimum wage is and always will be zero dollars an hour.
Why even bother going after Ron Paul. Just let him talk long enough and he’ll do all the harm he needs.
Well, with Perry’s attack, we can be certain Ron Paul won’t run away with the election now.
Bonus point to whichever candidate uses the phrase “Let’s take these sons of bitches out!”
Mandates come down to “For what reasons are you comfortable pointing a gun at someone at forcing them to do something?”
Any Republican who demagogues on Social Security should be kicked out of the party.
Isn’t just the Tea Party just a loose confederation of people who don’t like the government spending so much?
Which of Hank Hill’s friends is Rick Perry?
“Would Ben Barnake have a place in your administration?”
PERRY: “Only at the end of a rope.”
