Archive of entries posted on 6th March 2012

Link of the Day

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So I was chatting with Frank the other day, and he said, “Hey Harv, we need something that encourages reader participation. Go do that. I have to go stuff my mattress with the huge piles of gold doubloons the New York Post just sent me.”

Apparently Frank’s never seen that one episode of Family Guy.

Anyway, I found a link to get the feature started, but since I only have time to read 75% of the internet every day, if you find anything cool from the other 25% (which is clearly marked by pop-up ads that say “Harvey hasn’t read this yet”, so turn off your pop-up blocking software), send me a link at harvolson@gmail.com

If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email).

The 3 Little Pigs: 2012 – Think it’s just a quaint little children’s story about the importance of sensible building codes for livestock shelters?

Nope.

Apparrently in our enlightened modern times, it’s an excuse for the Occupy crowd to riot.

lolbama! Part 84

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This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

[ref 1,ref 2,ref 3]

From Kris:

From Larsinkima:

[reference link]

From Larsinkima:

From Travelwise42:

From Travelwise42:

From hwuu:

From James:

[reference link]

From Arik:

[reference link]

From Mark:

[reference link]

From Mike:

[reference link]

From Travelwise42:

From VelvetElvis:

[reference link]

This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

The “Lobby Scene” reference is kind of obvious, so try to be creative if you take that angle, or risk being squeezed out by an early submitter.

I’m thinking Kris for his masterful knowledge of plant names.

What say you?

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Nuke the News: Super Tuesday!

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* It’s Super Tuesday! Super!

This is Idaho’s first year to caucus, so I think SarahK and I are going to go get registered as a Republican (Idaho didn’t used to have party registration) and participate. Who will I caucus for? I don’t think I can say because I’m like a journalist or something I need to pretend to not be biased. I am a journalist, right? Well, if I do something wrong, I’m sure someone will sue me to let me know.

So, anyone else participating in this Tuesday which is super? I really hope this primary is over soon because I want to focus on attacking Obama since I hate him. I mean… maybe I hate him. You wouldn’t know, since I’m not biased.

* Steny Hoyer says that Sandra Fluke should sue Rush Limbaugh for libel for implying she’s a slut. Do you ever find it disturbing that so many people in government are ignorant of the law and freedom of speech? I try not to worry about stuff like that. We can get so wound up about politics when so little of it directly affects us. I try to focus on more down to earth stuff like properly stocking my bomb shelter.

* It ends up that contraception isn’t the only thing Sandra Fluke wants private insurance to be forced to cover — she also thinks they should have to cover gender reassignment surgery. I could make some jokes about this at Fluke’s expense, but then the president might yell at me.

The Democrats are trying to portray Fluke as some poor college student, but she’s actually a 30-year-old weirdo activist. She’s probably never even had sex.

* Obama has said that he “has Israel’s back.” So Israel should go forth knowing full well knowing that Obama is behind them… actually, that would creep me out. I’d keep glancing back saying, “What are you up to, Obama?” I just don’t trust that guy. You really want him in front where you can see him. Then again, if he leads the charge against Iran for Israel, he might get to Iran first and warn them an attack is coming.

Actually, if I were Israel, I might just leave Obama out of it. Unless they’re problem is not enough contraception mandates.

* Leaked word is that Osama wasn’t buried at sea and the U.S. government might still have his body. What do you think they’re using it for? Hopefully not a cloned army of mini-Osamas. They probably have them in a lab somewhere for research purposes, but you know something is going to happen and then they’ll escape and it will be like Gremlins but with Osamas. No matter what they do, no matter how much they cry, always force-feed them bacon after midnight.

* Wisdom of the Day from Kurt Schlichter:

I don’t think Sandra Fluke is a “slut” – I think she’s a whiny moocher with fascist tendencies. If she was a slut I’d like her better.

Random Thoughts

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AOL is going to stop sending Rush Limbaugh CDs and one month free offers?

So Rush Limbaugh has been on the air for like three decades and he finally slipped up and said something controversial.

The important thing when Rush says something controversial is that we as a nation band together to get through this.

Nothing Rush has ever said is as offensive as the fact that he publicly disagrees with the left before a large audience.

Obama has to be upset that all this controversy about contraception is distracting from what a great job he’s doing with the economy.

Obama: “Israel, I want assure you that it’s politically untenable for me to not support you.”

I snuck up and licked a honey badger, but it didn’t taste anything like honey. It tasted like clawing.

Are sex-selection abortions part of the “War on Women”? Because that’s why we’re missing about a hundred million of them.