Archive of entries posted on 26th March 2012

Link of the Day

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How would you like to see Obama grievously insulted in “ripped-from-the-headlines” fashion 3 times a week?

Hope n’ Change Cartoons has you covered.

As a bonus, you also get deliciously cruel commentary to go with it.

Be warned. He gets mean. And he “goes there”. May offend delicate sensibilities.

I especially liked the third comic in this post. I’m really jealous that I didn’t think of it.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Hijacking #ilikeobamacare

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Famous last words:

“‘You want to call it Obamacare – that’s okay, because I do care,’ Obama said.”

“‘I’m convinced at the end of the decade, the Republicans are going to regret turning this [into] ‘Obamacare,'” Plouffe said.'”

“The White House urged supporters of the law to tweet why they backed it with the hashtag ‘#ilikeobamacare.'”

Ya know, if I were the mischievous type who took some sort of twisted delight in mocking the gravely serious social commentary of my liberal betters, I might be tempted to post a few things on Twitter, like:
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#ilikeobamacare because it offends Muslim extremists

* Because it answers the question “can Nancy Pelosi make a gavel so big that she herself can’t lift it?” (the answer is no) #ilikeobamacare

* 4 years of high school, 4 years of college, 4 years of parents’ basement #ilikeobamacare

* The wait at my doctor’s office will finally be long enough for me to finish reading Atlas Shrugged #ilikeobamacare

* #ilikeobamacare – but I’m not IN like with it

* Because it creates good, high-paying, American jobs, like “death-panelist” #ilikeobamacare

* #ilikeobamacare because nobody will know what’s in it until it gets fully implemented. It’s like the Schrödinger’s Cat of legislation #ilikeScience!

* A super-secure government database with everyone’s private medical information? Challenge accepted #ilikeobamacare

* Combining the efficiency of the Post Office and the customer service of the DMV, it’ll be like the perfect Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup of government programs #ilikeobamacare

* If you have a pre-existing condition of being the First Lady, your weekend ski-trips to Vail will now be covered #ilikeobamacare

* There may still be a co-pay for your family’s Spring Break trips to Oaxaca, but that can be waived if you have the story pulled from the news wires #ilikeobamacare

* I own a small business that rents lab-coats for Presidential photo-ops. Ka-CHING! #ilikeobamacare

* #ilikeobamacare @benandjerrys – New ice cream flavor – #ilickobamacare

* @DickCheney – free heart transplant! BOO-YAH! It’s lawyer-face season again! #ilikeobamacare

* Saves you that long hike up the cliff to push wheelchair-granny off it #ilikeobamacare

* @ElenaKagan – resume enhancer! Um… that I swear I didn’t actually work on #ilikeobamacare

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By the way, Obama, I’m suing you for plagiarizing my iPad app #iLikeobamacare

Human Achievement Week

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Coinciding with Earth Hour and Alpha Proxima Day, I declare this “Human Achievement Week” on the theory that the best response to uncivilized barbarians trying to drag you into the dark ages is a disproportionate response.

Let’s kick it off with a brief review of what Man has done so far to lift himself out of the lightless world the hippies want to drag us back into.

Note that it starts with fire.


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #3,228)

As Howard Roark said:

“Thousands of years ago, the first man discovered how to make fire. He was probably burned at the stake he had taught his brothers to light. He was considered an evildoer who had dealt with a demon mankind dreaded. But thereafter men had fire to keep them warm, to cook their food, to light their caves. He had left them a gift they had not conceived and he had lifted darkness off the earth.”

Nuke the News: Yay Obamacare!

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* Obama has embraced the term “Obamacare.” It had been considered derogatory since it combined the phrase “health care” with the name of a failed president, but now Obama is trying to pump it up as a good thing. They even tried to start a hashtag on Twitter — #ILikeObamacare — to gin up support, but the people who used it were mainly making fun of Obamacare (not me, though; I was taught in grade school to not make fun).

Anyway, Supreme Court arguments start today. Most people don’t like Obamacare and want it overturned by the court. Obama blames this on a well-funded campaign against Obamacare, but he shouldn’t shortchange how Obamacare’s own suckitude has contributed to its unpopularity. Now, if the court strikes it down, there goes Obama’s biggest accomplishment of his first term. But if the court upholds it, people will be really angry and motivated against Obama and wanting to make sure he can’t appoint more Supreme Court nominees. So Obama’s strategy for the near future is to hide under a desk.

* Dick Cheney got a heart transplant, but he’s recovering now and doctors are assuring people that, despite his new heart, he’s just as evil as ever. Apparently it was a really tricky operation — mainly because Cheney cradles a shotgun at all times and gets belligerent under anesthetic.

We here at IMAO wish Cheney to have good health and hope he still has a long life ahead — mainly because of how he annoys liberals. In fact, I hope they replace more of him with robot parts so he’ll live forever.

* Obama has named the generation under 40 as “Gen44” — i.e., the generation of the 44th president, Barack Obama. What a sad thing to be defined by. It’s like “Generation Jimmy Carter – Part 2”. I guess my generation needs to find something to define ourselves by before some idiot like Obama does. It’s just I don’t know what? It’s not like we had the Nazis to overcome. I say we be the generation that resurrects dinosaurs and puts rocket launchers on them. I think the future would really respect us for that.

* I saw that video where Obama keeps saying the same thing to multiple allies, and I find it kind of endearing. Here’s the American President so dismissive of smaller countries that he won’t even bother to come up with new material for them. That’s how the American President should be; good job Obama.

* So that shooting in Florida is getting pretty politicized. There’s so little known about the actual details, that I don’t really have much of an opinion about it, but man are the racial demagogue vultures descended on that situation. They just seem really frustrated that Zimmerman isn’t whiter, though. They really want to condemn “white America” and its racial attitudes, but they got that one little setback. Some new outlets are calling him a “white Hispanic” — which I guess is a Hispanic who asks for his own papers.

Some people are also hoping to get some gun control traction off of this, but they were unsuccessful with the last couple tragedies, so I don’t really think much is going to happen anymore. Well, there’s at least one area in America that people have come firmly down on the side of freedom. Hope, people. Hope.

* Wisdom of the Day from Jon Gabriel:

Since everyone’s decided Zimmerman is guilty sans trial, Obama should have a drone take him out.

Random Thoughts

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Make sure you have a will with instructions on how you’d like your death to be politicized.

“If only Zimmerman were whiter…” -people demagoguing the Trayvon shooting

So hoodies are bad? So what should I wear to my next liquor store robbery?

Quick! Someone draw a hoodie on an Etch-A-Sketch!

Maybe what Geraldo said wasn’t that dumb and we just think that because of the mustache.

Apparently Obama has embraced the term “Obamacare”, so big blow to whiners.

Being a low level programmer, I was a little wary when I first started with C#, but man do I love foreach loops.

#ILikeObamacare because I believe there is such a thing as a free lunch. And unicorns.

My 17 month old daughter is the best thing ever. She’s like owning a monkey that talks.

The Hunger Games was good, but I think this is the rare adaptation where you’ll enjoy it more if you read the book first.

Also, what was shown in the books was limited by the first person perspective, so the movie had some advantages there.

Had a rib-eye of “Kobe-style” beef. Very expensive, but really good.

Considering how poorly Jon Huntsman did in the primary, it’s weird he’s the next politician they’re doing a movie of: “Snow White and the Huntsman”

“Don’t worry; I’ll save you, Snow White. I know Chinese.”

Here’s how Newt Gingrich can still win this: meteors.

From SarahK just now: “Antelopes do have long trunks so they can eat ants.”