WASHINGTON (AP) – Vice President Joe Biden addressed 87 wealthy Democrats last night attending a fundraiser at the home of Sen. John Kerry in Georgetown. As they dined on grass-fed New York strip steaks and white truffle mashed potatos underneath a outdoor tent, Biden criticized Republicans for being out of touch.
“These guys don’t have a sense of the average folks out there,” Biden said according to the pool report, “They don’t know what it means to be middle class.”
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Guests paid a minimum of $10,000-per-couple to attend the dinner.
“It’s a shame that Republicans don’t understand the plight of the downtrodden,” Sen. John Kerry, the evening’s host, told a reporter as he pulled the antique silver spoon out of his mouth to dip it into a bowl of Pâté de Foie Gras prepared by his personal chef. “People are suffering all over America. Good people. People who, like me, served in Vietnam. Make sure you quote that last part.”
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi was similarly appalled at the tragically-disconnected GOP.
“You can’t just keep flaunting your wealth in these troubled times. And they wonder why 99% of Americans – the salt-of-the-earth, common, everyday middle class like us – are unemployed, flat-broke, and Occupying Wall Street, God bless them,” the Congresswoman said sadly, pausing to take a dainty helping of imported Russian beluga caviar with her emerald-encrusted, 24-karat solid-gold spoon, hand-crafted in the 7th century by Arabian child-slaves.
“Those insensitive monsters on the other side of aisle just don’t get it,” Pelosi continued. “They want to be elected, but when you serve in a position of trust like that, you have to do it for the sake of others – those in deepest, direst need – not yourself,” said the former Speaker whose personal net worth skyrocketed 62% last year, to a jaw-dropping $35.2 million.
First Lady Michelle Obama, unable to attend the dinner personally, sent a video to express her support for the attendees’ compassion for the plight of the less-well-off.
“We are in a battle. A battle to help those who are hurting,” said Mrs. Obama, resplendent in a Katie’s Lotus cuff priced at $15,000 with 2.9 carats of diamonds, a Gothic cuff at $15,350 with 2.17 carats in diamonds and a Quatrefoil bracelet at $11,800 with 1.73 carats in diamonds.
“Republicans simply have no heart. At some point you simply have to get right in their faces and ask them straight out: what about the children? What are you going to do for the children?” she said, wiping tears from eyes which were still partially snow-blinded from a recent weekend trip with her own children to a ski resort in Vail.
But…but, it’s always for the children™…isn’t it?
Harvey, it’s Michelle’s big moment to leave her mark on history (besides the 16 vacations is three years). She needs those diamonds to
scratch her husband’s eyes outdo that.Excellent! Now write some satire.
Harvey is like Frank J. and David Burge all rolled into one delicious daily treat.
(Hey, I finally submitted something and won High Praise so I can say that. Neener neener.)
Les – If you click the first link, you’ll notice I lifted the first 3 paragraphs verbatim. It’s kinda sad when I don’t have to lift a finger to mock the left.
Jimmy – Burge? Wow! Now that’s what I call High Praise!
Satire? You mean this isn’t a real article?
Oh, and is the Pâté de Foie Gras a tip to M*A*S*H*? (Season 6, episode “The Grim Reaper)
Please tell me that I’m not the only one who finds it sad under this president that it is nearly impossible to tell the difference between the news and political commentary.
Travis – Although I’ve watched a lot of MASH in my time, I was not thinking of that episode (and actually can’t recall the particular scene in question).
I was just using the priciest rich-people food I could think of.
Wait… I mean, YES! Totally a MASH reference! 🙂
Duke – I’m sad too. Writing for IMAO used to be a challenge. With Obama running things into the ground, it’s getting to be like skiing down the bunny slope.
Those Arabian slave kids lived way back in the 7th century. They’re old now, so nobody cares about them.
The Republicans don’t even know that the unwashed masses exist, but Biden and the democrats fully understand that the peasants must be appeased.
If I was paying $5k a pop I would want to be served better steak than grass fed. I’d be wanting 3-5 year grain fed at least.
Well, I know the last time I went to a 10k dinner I remember remarking the Republicans simply don’t understand how hard it is for middle class folks like Joe Biden, John Kerry and Michele Obama. After all they’ve been laid off……..no wait, that’s not it. I know, they’re retirement has been decimated……. no that’s not it. Wait, wait I have it now, the horrific economy has hit their businesses so hard they’ve had to ………dang, I just know they’ve been impacted.
Maybe they didn’t get a big enough steak at the dinner. Yeah that’s it. Smaller portions of that healthy food Michele’s always droning on about. I knew they’d been adversely affected. Now they truly know how the average American feels.
Here’s a clue Joe. Call up Joe the Plumber, he might be willing to sell you a clue………then again maybe not.
Faith, hope, and charity — good God Almighty, the Left can give anything a bad name.
Change!