This Is Exactly What Liberals See When They Look At Romney

[pic via Flickr]

As Frank said:

It’s bad optics how Romney is always seen carrying canvas sacks with large dollar signs on them. And what’s the monocle for?

Personally, I’m an optimist, and I see Romney’s glasses as half-full.

In fact, the one sure way for Romney to get my sincere, enthusiastic support would be for him to go out in public looking exactly like this for EVERY campaign speech, and adopting one of the following slogans:
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* I’m like Uncle Scrooge McDuck, except my swimming pool full of gold coins is MUCH bigger.

* Unlike Obama, I earned this by selling goods & services in the free market to willing buyers

* Corporations are people. Liberals are barely even human.

* I’ve dropped forks that cost more than your electric car.

* Windmills are for tulip-tending clog-wearers.

* Socialism: licking the scraps off capitalism’s plate since 1917

* I beat up the Monopoly guy and stole these.

* If capitalism is cold-blooded, I’m a dinosaur with a rocket launcher – RARRRR!

* I made my fortune selling bongos to Occupy hippies.

* If money were sand, I’d be a beach. Surf’s up, dudes!

* If Wall Street were my dog, I wouldn’t make it ride on the roof. Obama would still eat it, though.
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So… is there ANYTHING that would make you want to vote for Romney?

I mean OTHER than him not being Obama.

16 Comments

  1. So……

    His theme song should be “We’re In The Money” :

    “We’re in the money,
    We’re in the money;
    We’ve got a lot of what it takes to get along!
    We’re in the money,
    The sky is sunny;
    Old Man Depression Obama, you are through,
    You done us wrong!”

  2. I must confess, I am rather simple in my desires in regards to my Presidential selection…. Offer me a donut, a cup of coffee, and a sit down chat about what the Constitution actually says regarding the powers of the president. If you, presidential candidate, can’t understand what you can and can’t do as explained by a simple 6 page document written by some dudes over 200 years ago without the help of the Internet ( they wrote it by hand), then you don’t get my vote.

  3. * I’m so rich that I stuff wads of my own cash in my pockets. I’m un-bribable!

    * When I was young, I didn’t have the advantages that other people had. I could only dream about having a real estate deal thrown my way or a 350k a year no-show job.

    * Unlike my opponent who had never swung a club prior to taking office, I can already play the game!

    * I love this country as much as anyone can. Without it, I’d be poor.

    * As a Mormon, the road to wealth via bootlegging and stock market rigging was closed. I had to resort to starting new businesses.

    (This is a stretch, but hey, who ever questioned the Kennedy wealth or what they do with it?)

  4. I’m old enough to remember Kennedy’s failed run in ’80, although I wasn’t a Styx fan. D*mn good thing I wasn’t old enough to vote then. I grew up in a family of liberals and had not yet been shown the way.

    Teddy’s run kinda reminds me of Lloyd Bentson. Lloyd would have tell Fat Teddy, “I knew John F. Kennedy, and you sir are no John F. Kennedy.” Wasn’t Jesse and his Rainblow Coalition in the mix that year? I may be conflating. Liberals put up two criminals and a vastly hypocritical bigot that year — not much different from any Democratic nomination run.

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