Random Thoughts: Woodward, Batman, and Chocolate

Like how reporters are sure Obama doesn’t know this is going on, like it’s good he’s this naive waif oblivious to everything.

Contrary to Joe Biden’s advice, I’ve never been very good with a shotgun in Call of Duty. AR-15 works much better.

At no point will the Democrats ever say they’ve taxed the rich enough. That’s the drum they need to keep beating to make the dummies dance.

You know, we aren’t in this situation because the rich needed Social Security and Medicare.

Hollywood loves remakes, so here’s my pitch: Remake of “All the President’s Men,” but with a twist: Woodward is the villain!

If Obama were developmentally disabled, the way the press rallies behind him would be a heroic, tear-jerking story.

Think my next column topic should be: “Is the press doing enough to protect our hapless president?”

It’s dishonest to quote Andrew Sullivan and not preface his name with “noted nutball.”

“Why are you talking about the auditory nerve? That’s completely ear-relevant.”

Battletoads was a weird game. Has a deceptively fun first level and then beats the crap out of you after that.

The equivalent would be after getting the first star in Mario 64 the game turned into Dark Souls.

A cultured person should understand video game references.

How are voters going to react to Ashley Judd’s mysteriously puffy face?

I’m a libertarian except in areas where I don’t like what other people are doing and want the government to come stop them.

Every other Batman arc should be about Robin getting killed.

Never understood why milk chocolate exists when there is this thing called “dark chocolate.”

What was the pitch on milk chocolate? “Some people like chocolate, but they don’t like the… you know… chocolate taste.”

The best defense against the sequester is to fire a shotgun through the door.

20 Comments

  1. @7 – That’s works for some, but now I have to work on a whole new way of being ‘minimally-cultured.’ I’m not sure I’m up to the task. And God knows that I’ve tried hard to include movie references in my remarks lately. Now, I’ve got to do video games, too? 🙁

  2. “At no point will the Democrats ever say they’ve taxed the rich enough” The plan is tax the rich until they become the poor, then go after the next highest level of earners then the next and so on until everyone is equally destitute…except for the government who will be sitting on top of a huge pile of money, like Scrooge McDuck, yelling at the poor to get off their lawn and get a job because the need more taxes.

    “If Obama were developmentally disabled” IF? So your are claiming he isn’t? If he were that would explain a lot more of his policies.

    “A cultured person should understand video game references.” I have been waiting for some but I have yet to hear you refer to Pong or Asteroids or Space Invaders or Zaxon or even that hipster game Pac-Man….or SuperPAC-man.

  3. “Like how reporters are sure Obama doesn’t know this is going on, like it’s good he’s this naive waif oblivious to everything.”

    Yep, although they can’t tell you where he went to school or who his real father is, in matters like this they know everything about him.

  4. “If Obama were developmentally disabled”…. so THAT’S why they banned the word retard from the federal lexicon.

    The next Robin should be South Park’s Kenny. He’ll keep coning back and save Batman all that training time.

  5. “Never understood why milk chocolate exists when there is this thing called “dark chocolate.”

    Because the milk chocolate is oppressing the dark chocolate and we need affirmative action to help give dark chocolate more opportunities.

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