Is This Obama’s Coy Way of Fantasizing About Being a Suicide Bomber?

[High Praise! to iOwnTheWorld]

I read this interview with Obama, and I couldn’t help thinking that every Palestinian with explosives strapped to his chest has these exact same thoughts – wishing he could move like a ghost amongst his vulnerable targets:
_______________

“Sometimes I have this fantasy that I can put on a disguise, wear a fake mustache and I can wander through Tel Aviv and go to a bar and have a conversation,” he said in an interview taped at the White House earlier this week.

Obama said he misses the “spontaneous interactions” he used to have when he traveled.

“I’d love to sit at a cafe and just hang out,” he said.

“The last time I was there as a senator, I still had the option of wandering through the Old City of Jerusalem. That option becomes much trickier once you’re actually president,” he said, noting the tight security around him when he travels.

“You can’t just slip out and interact with people without having a bunch of guys with machine guns with you,” he added.

Obama told the interviewer he plans to find as many opportunities as he can to interact directly with the Israeli people, but admitted, “You’ve tapped into something that chafes at me.”
_______________

Tragically, Not a Parody

[High Praise! to DoublePlus Undead]

Ok, well, technically this video is a parody of ACTUAL government “non-violent bystander intervention” advice, but the advice itself it all too frighteningly real.


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #15,197)

Seems kinda foolish to have nine steps when you all need is one.

1) Draw your licensed concealed-carry weapon.

Unlike Obama, Dick Cheney Doesn’t Have a Single Confirmed Drone Kill of an American Citizen

Speaking to Senate Democrats, President Obama defended his drone policy by saying “this is not Dick Cheney we’re talking about here”.

So… you’ve nothing to fear as long as you’re not a lawyer?

You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Two Popes walk into a bar…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

All 6 Stars Wars Movies at Once

Aww man, it got taken down. I kind of figured that had to happen even though the movies were unwatchable in this format (well, episodes I through III were made a bit more watchable by it). It was oddly fascinating, though, especially the beginning with all six Star Wars logos zooming out (nearly) in sync and fast forwarding to the end with six different climatic action sequences going on at once. Well, maybe it will get mirrored somewhere. Until then, just imagine the cacophony in your head.

So, anyway, Episode VII, directed by J.J. Abrams and with the original cast coming back — are you expecting a big train wreck or keeping some hopes up? I have some hopes — but it will never be like the anticipation for Episode I. I was so excited — could hardly believe after my childhood of watching the first three over and over I was actually going to get to see a new Star Wars movie. And then I saw it.

I’ve been a cold, jaded man ever since.

An Evening at Frank’s House

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Link of the Day: Satire – United States Ready To Declare War On The Sun

[High Praise! to The Duffel Blog]

United States Ready To Declare War On The Sun

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Billionaires Door Rap Tidy Vaccine Popes

Depends on What the Definition of “Sustainable” Is

During an interview on ABC, President Obama said that for the next 10 years, the debt will be “in a sustainable place”.

Much like bowling pins 10 seconds before a strike.

The Most 80s Video Ever

I’m with Ace on being skeptical about this. It’s just too perfectly 80s. It’s just seems it had to have been made as a parody of everything 80s and can’t actually be from the 80s. But there is evidence it actually is from back then (here’s apparently a photo of the main guy from it as he looks now). Anyway, here is The Karate Rap:

The parakeet is the part where I’m like, “This has to be a joke.”

Obama Warned Us – Upholding Ideals

We lose ourselves when we compromise the very ideals that we fight to defend. And we honor those ideals by upholding them not when it’s easy, but when it is hard.

BARACK OBAMA, Nobel Lecture, Dec. 10, 2009

The hardest ideal to uphold? One that’s unconstitutional.

[NOTE: I came across a huge page of Obama quotes, and most of them are vague politi-speak with no real meaning. Yet I find myself drawn to the notion of interpreting those quotes in terms of what he’s actually done for the last 4 years. I think I’ll make this a regular feature with it’s own category until doing so ceases to amuse me. If it becomes boring, let me know and I’ll stop, as I love you Moon Nukers more than I hate Obama.]

I Respect Michael Bloomberg

I respect Michael Bloomberg. Why? Because he’s an honest liberal. Here’s what he recently said:

“I do think there are certain times we should infringe on your freedom.”

Liberals are very anti-freedom these days, with their high taxes, the regulations, the wanting to keep you from having guns — but they never frame it that way. They always frame it as being pro-freedom. “I’m freeing you from worry by taking away your choices about health care!” It would just be nice for some liberals to finally be honest and come out and say, “Yeah, I’m not really feeling this whole ‘freedom’ thing; it’s kind of in the way of all the plans we have. And people spending their own money on things they want instead of me spending their money on things I say they should want — that just annoys me.”

But Bloomberg is basically coming out as the anti-freedom politician. Then maybe we can finally have a real, honest debate with liberals of freedom versus all their ideas they think are so much better than freedom. Because that’s where the debate actually is, but the left just does everything they can to keep it from being framed that honestly.

Straight Line of the Day: In the Latest Bizarre Video From North Korea…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

In the latest bizarre video from North Korea…

Why Do the Dancing Monkeys Try to Tell Us Their Opinions?

So Jim Carrey did a video for Funny or Die mocking gun owners as dumb hicks compensating for small penises because he’s from Hollywood where people tend to be stupid and bigoted and latch on to trendy causes. Now, I didn’t watch the video, as I only have so much time in the day and I’m not into political hatred porn, but I did find it interesting that apparently he has an armed bodyguard. So it’s really easy to follow his logic:

“Who are these paranoid freaks who want to carry around guns? Don’t they trust the bodyguards that follow them around them 24/7?”

This is probably similar to Bloomberg’s thinking. Instead of “Let them eat cake” it’s “Let them hire bodyguards.”

And talking about compensating for things, ever wonder why actors lash out politically like this? It’s because lots of people listen to them, but the actors know in their hearts they are very dumb people with nothing worthwhile to say. And thus they lash out like this to try and compensate for their lack of intellect.

Well, let’s relieve some pressure for Jim Carrey. Jim, you’re just a dancing monkey. Just because we toss at nickels at you to see you dance doesn’t mean we want your opinion on anything. So just keep smiling and dancing and just leave the little thoughts you have to rattle around in the hollow melon of yours.

And if you’re going to do another Funny or Die video, do a Fire Marshall Bill sketch. I miss those.

Random Thoughts: Fascism, Owls, and Broccoli

You can’t be against fascism and for government expansion. That’s like being against mass shootings while arming the mentally ill.

If the push for gay marriage is like the civil rights movement of the 60s, did the civil rights movement have this much self-back patting?

Why are owls so fat?

No matter what trendy causes Hollywood celebrities latch onto, they tend to be not very smart and quite bigoted.

“Guns should only be the hands of the government and my personal bodyguards.” -every major gun control advocate

There should be an extremely punitive tax on advocating for more taxes.

So did the first guy to think of adding 9/10ths to the price of a gallon of gas make a million billion dollars?

I don’t think we’re to the point that the government can force you to eat broccoli. It can only force you to buy it.

I miss Fire Marshal Bill 🙁

There’s a perfectly rational explanation for everything in this universe once you get past the absurdity that anything exists at all.