[High Praise! to After Math]
Archive of entries posted on 21st March 2013
Unreliable News Media to Become Even Less Trustworthy
[High Praise! to Technabob]
Soon they won’t be just airbrushing out cigarettes.
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #34,623)
Prepare to become anti-Gumped into unpersonhood.
Obama Can Really Work Both Sides
During an interview on CNN, Nancy Pelosi said President Obama has been “very bipartisan”.
Yup, he works equally well with the left AND the extreme left.
Link of the Day: Why Obama Isn’t Granting Pardons
[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Hipster Socioeconomic Jigglypuff Coke Apologize Cliched
I would never watch anything as demeaning as “Bum Fights.” But “Hipster Fights”? Sign me up for the Director’s Cut Deluxe Box Set.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) March 20, 2013
“Ima drop you like a Wes Anderson reference.” #HipsterFight
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) March 20, 2013
He was a poor country boy. She was a rich city girl. They never met, due to geographic distance and rigid socioeconomic stratification.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) March 20, 2013
If you pick Jigglypuff as your character on Super Smash Bros. I’ll see you in court.
— Rob Fee (@robfee) March 20, 2013
My sister hurt her back ending a fight at the inner city school where she teaches. Sometimes my office fridge is out of Diet Coke.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) March 20, 2013
Never apologize for who you are unless you suck.
— jon(@senderblock23) March 20, 2013
I am the Michael Jordan of using clichéd analogies.
— BillCorbett (@BillCorbett) March 20, 2013
This Isn’t Obama’s Fault, Either
During an interview on CNN, Nancy Pelosi said President Obama “has always been very respectful of the views of the Republicans”.
I see… so it’s just his teleprompter that keeps acting like a jerk?
A Beardless Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris has shaved his beard. Maybe he’s like Samson and that was the source of all his power. The time to attack is now!
**watches as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the head off a ninja**
No! It’s a trap! Flee!
This Is Why DiFi Din’t Graduate From the 5th Grade
Should Businesses That Disarm People Be More Liable?
I saw a neat proposal some place: If a business bars you from carrying a gun, then they must provide armed security. I like the idea of making people own up to what they’re doing when they disarm people, though I’m not sure I fully support enacting this law on libertarian ground. Maybe instead a law where if you make people disarm on your premise, they’re now fully liable for any violence that happens to anyone there. For instance, everyone in the Aurora shooting would be able to sue the movie theater as if they caused the death and injury. If you’re saying I can’t defend myself and I’m violently attacked, it does seem like that’s your fault. And if you choose to disarm people and make yourself more liable, that should be factored into your insurance costs.
What do you think?
Straight Line of the Day: What Happened to the $62 Million That Was Supposed to Be Spent on DC’s Eisenhower Memorial?
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
What happened to the $62 million that was supposed to be spent on DC’s Eisenhower Memorial?
Why Not Just Put the Entire Federal Budget on Credit?
I have a new PJ Media column: Why not end taxes and put the entire federal budget on credit?
Think about it: We’re past $16 trillion in debt so far, and we’re just fine. We have a pretty good scheme going to keep up the level of government we want: We take big loans from our children and then die before paying them back. And we have no reason to stop. What’s the worst that has happened so far? America’s credit was downgraded. And that hurt us how? It’s not like people are going to stop giving the federal government loans — it has nukes. Plus, the president has asserted that he can take out anyone he wants with drone strikes whenever he feels like it (“Want to know who’s on my secret kill list? I’ll give you a hint: No one who loans us money.”). So that brings us to the obvious question: Why not just put the entire federal budget on credit?
Random Thoughts: George R. R. Martin, Hipsters, and Legalese
The only explanation for the color scheme on George R. R. Martin’s website is he intensely hates his readers. “I want a lavender background with purple text because @#$% you, that’s why!”
I would love to read the sample chapter, but I like my eyes too much.
To me, the height of engineering is when I have no idea what I’m doing and do it anyway.
I’m staring to dislike the Republicans who call everyone RINO and Republicans who complain about labeling anyone RINO in equal measure.
So I guess it’s well established now that there is no tragedy so horrible that people will support completely useless gun control measures.
“I will stomp your head until everyone else joins me and then I’ll stop because it’s now too mainstream.” #HipsterFight
“The martial arts I’m using is called Kalaripayattu. You’ve probably never heard of it.” #HipsterFight
Optimist: “The glass is half full.”
Pessimist: “The glass is half empty.”
Optimist Prime: “The glass is a go! Autobots, roll out!”
Why does only software come with boilerplate legalese no one reads? Why can’t all products have that?
Christians are always trying to force their values on society like how big your soda cup can be and what type of grocery bag you can use.
Obama Warned Us
[High Praise! to Anonymiss and American Digest]
“Issues are never simple. One thing I’m proud of is that very rarely will you hear me simplify the issues.”
-Barack Obama, MSNBC interview, Sep 25, 2006
Apparently Obamacare is the Tardis. There’s more inside than outside.
And now we know what’s in it… Nancy
Anyway, nice use of the empty chair.
Blog tech support
Yesterday, Frank J. mentioned that I sometimes help out with behind-the-scenes support of this blog. Some of you may not know what all is involved to, as Frank put it, “keep IMAO up and running.” So, here’s a support event.
19:00 – Email alert sounds.
19:08 – Commercial starts. I pick up the Roku remote and hit pause.
19:12 – Having finished preparing sandwich, I pick up the phone and check email. Read Harvey’s message:
Unable to access IMAO. Anyone else having issues?
19:12:20 – Eat sandwich. Press play.
19:13 – Email alert sounds.
19:19 – Commercial starts. I press pause, put down half-eaten sandwich, pick up phone, and check email. Read Frank J’s response:
I’m having trouble accessing, too.
19:19:30 – Launch browser on phone. Key in http://imao.com/
19:21:45 – Find correct URL, key in http://www.imao.us/
19:21:55 – Receive Error 500 message. Set remote aside.
19:22 – Return to email. Hit “Reply to all”
Yeah, I’m having trouble getting to it, too. My research shows that
Pick up laptop, Google ‘Error 500’
it could be a plugin conflict.
Read search results, discover the first page is no help, so I Google ‘Error 500 WordPress’ but those result summaries are no help either. I’m going to have to click a result to find an answer. Or…
Have we installed any updates recently?
Press “Send”
19:24 – Put down phone, pick up remote, press play, pick up sandwich.
19:27 – Email alert sounds.
19:31 – Commercial starts. I press pause. Pick up phone, read email from Harvey:
I’ve not installed any upgrades.
Email alert sounds. I press “Next” to read new email from Frank.
Let me know if I need to open a support ticket.
19:32 – Put down phone. Pick up remote. Press play.
19:41 – Commercial starts. I press pause. Put down remote. Pick up phone. Hit “Reply to all”
My research shows that
I pause. Pick up remote, flip it in the air, causing it to spin along the long axis. “Heads, database; tails, disk.” The remote lands on the couch buttons down.
disk problems can cause this. Sometimes, if file permissions are incorrect,
Okay, this next bit needs to be really good.
it’s unable to use the server hard drive as a physical backup cache and will throw a generic 500 error.
Hey, that actually sounds pretty good. I can use that one at work.
Let me try one more thing before you open a ticket.
Press “Send”
19:43 – Put down phone. Pick up remote. Press play.
19:46 – Email alert sounds.
19:50 – Show ends, closing credits roll.
19:52 – Return from kitchen with Coke refill. Pick up phone, read email from Frank J:
Thanks.
19:53 – Pick up remote, hit “Back” to return to Hulu queue. It’s empty.
19:54 – Pick up phone, hit “Reply to all”
Ruling out plugins, the only other cause would be
Flip remote. Heads.
database permissions. I’m out of options here. You may want to go ahead and open a ticket. Let them know what we’ve found.
Press “Send.”
19:56 – Pick up remote, scroll to Netflix. Ah, Firefly. Haven’t seen one of those in a while. Press play.
20:01 – Email alert sounds.
20:03 – Press pause. Put down remote. Pick up phone. Read Frank J’s email:
I’ve opened a ticket and gave them the information you provided. Thanks again.
20:04 – Press play.
20:38 – Email sounds.
20:40 – Email sounds.
20:41 – Firefly episode ends. Pick up phone, read email from Frank J:
Support says it’s back up. Thanks for your help.
Go to next email, from Harvey:
Thanks again, Basil. You’re a lifesaver!
20:42 – Hit “Reply to all”
Glad it’s back up and running. Let me know if I can help any further.
20:43 – Press send. Pick up remote. Press play.
You’ve Been Judged!
Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The name and/or tagline of Obama’s blog would be…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.