Michael Antoinette?

[Inspired by something Frank J. said here]

Global Cooling! Be Afraid!

[High Praise! to I’m a Man! I’m 41!]

Just a reminder: within our lifetimes, people were REALLY freaked out by this:


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #3,385)

Click here for more global cooling nuttiness.

Location, Location, Location

The Pentagon is moving an additional 14 ground-based interceptor missiles to Alaska to counter the threat from North Korea.

It’s a good start, but we might want to put a few missiles about 4000 miles further west, too.

You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The reason it cost Joe Biden $321,665 for limousine rides…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Diplomacy – Obama Style!

[Via Fox Nation]

OBAMA: Well, thank you Prime Minister Netanyahu for your kind words and your wonderful welcome here today, and I want to express a special thanks to Sara as well as your two sons for their warmth and hospitality – it was wonderful to see them. I did inform the Prime Minister that they are very good looking men who clearly got their looks from their mother.

NETANYAHU: Well I could say the same of your daughters… (Laughter).

OBAMA: This is true – our goal is to improve our gene pool by marrying women who are better than we are.

Wait… did Obama just tell a eugenics joke to a Jew?


…fail so strong, even two Nazis are embarrassed.

Link of the Day: Pentagon, Hollywood Team Up To Produce Better Military Films

[High Praise! to The Duffel Blog]

Pentagon, Hollywood Team Up To Produce Better Military Films

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: LinkedIn Hack

We Have to Adopt the ENTIRE British System

During an interview, Bill Gates said “some days I wish we had a system like the UK” to give Obama more power.

Fine. As long as the system includes a tower to lock him away in if he abuses it.

Obama Warned Us – Rhetoric

The problem is that this kind of vilification and over-the-top rhetoric closes the door to the possibility of compromise. It undermines democratic deliberation. It prevents learning — since, after all, why should we listen to a “fascist,” or a “socialist,” or a “right-wing nut,” or a left-wing nut”? It makes it nearly impossible for people who have legitimate but bridgeable differences to sit down at the same table and hash things out. It robs us of a rational and serious debate, the one we need to have about the very real and very big challenges facing this nation. It coarsens our culture, and at its worst, it can send signals to the most extreme elements of our society that perhaps violence is a justifiable response.

BARACK OBAMA, remarks at University of Michigan, May 1, 2010

If you right-wing nuts oppose me, I will send signals to my progressive thug-buddies, and they will bite your fingers off.

Nonsense Is Out There

So apparently the most requested FBI document is a memo detailing a third-hand claim about UFOs from 1950. The FBI didn’t investigate the claim, though, because they didn’t have an X-Files division yet.

“Mulder, Scully — I want you to find the truth so we can cover it up.”

Of course, people will think this is all part of a government conspiracy to conceal evidence of UFOs. So what’s crazier: Believing that space aliens have visited us or that there are groups of people in the federal government actually competent enough to pull off conspiracies and cover ups?

Straight Line of the Day: The Weirdest Moment in the IRS’s Star Trek Spoof Video…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The weirdest moment in the IRS’s Star Trek spoof video

McCain Witnesses the Invasion

So, while John McCain was doing a publicity tour of the border fence, a woman climbed right over it in front of him. I guess she heard McCain on the other side and was hoping he’d grant her amnesty than and there. But nope; they apprehended her and presumably took her to jail. Or maybe even worse — to Mexico.

A similar thing once happened to me. I was touring Niagara Falls and then a Canadian suddenly crossed the border. I shot him dead. You have to handle those these quickly; a Canadian can blend into American society pretty easily and be hard to spot. In fact, the government suspects we have Canadian sleeper cells throughout the country. I don’t know what they’re plotting, but it probably involves hockey sticks.

Random Thoughts: Judd Gone

Kinda anemic on the thoughts today; just two on Judd. I guess when you look at her you see a void of thoughts and feel the need to fill it.

Ashley Judd has decided to spend more time with her rape analogies.

Now we’ll never get the answers we deserve about her puffy face.

The Important Thing Is to Just Never Stop Looking

Physicists say they have proof of the elusive Higgs Boson, a subatomic particle first predicted to exist 50 years ago.

Still missing – any evidence that socialism works.