[Pic via Very Demotivational]
Archive of entries posted on 7th March 2013
Creepy Mechanical Horse Skeleton Now Scary Mechanical Horse Skeleton
Who Loves Gun Control?
Diane Feinstein said that “all the police and all the mayors” support her gun control bill.
Pretty popular among muggers & burglars, too.
A Little Help?
I’m WAY short on entries for this week’s lolbama!, so if you’d like to submit something, I’d take it as a kindness.
This week’s uncaptioned:
Submit entries to lolterizt@gmail.com
Safety Last
Link of the Day: Satire – Chuck Hagel’s To-Do List
[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]
Chuck Hagel Reporting for Duty
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Filibuster Reactions
Wine only contains 1% of the Recommended Daily Intake of calcium, so remember to drink 100 glasses every day.
— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) March 6, 2013
WOMAN EATEN BY LION WHILE HAVING SEX! THIS WHY IT SO IMPORTANT TO HAVE SAFEWORD!
— DRUNK HULK (@DRUNKHULK) March 6, 2013
Good to see the parties put aside their differences to oppose killing Americans with robots.
— Byron Tau (@ByronTau) March 6, 2013
Rand Paul is like Ron Paul Lite. Great taste, less crazy.
— Michael Deppisch (@deppisch) March 6, 2013
Now @senrandpaul is getting loopy if he thinks Obama can construct a coherent statement on the Constitution.
— Michael Q Sullivan (@MQSullivan) March 6, 2013
I can’t wait for the part where there’s a quick cut, then everyone on the Senate floor starts filibustering.
— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) March 6, 2013
Christopher Walken would give the best filibuster.
— Tony Hernandez (@HernandezTony) March 6, 2013
It’s like everything the Left/media warned us Bush would become is what Obama is. Funny that.
— John Nolte(@NolteNC) March 6, 2013
With Chavez dying before Castro my brackets are already screwed.
— Dennis Miller Show (@DennisDMZ) March 7, 2013
Diplomacy!
During a speech in Germany, John Kerry insisted that there’s a “diplomatic path” with Iran.
Yup. Write “let’s negotiate” on the nose of a bomb and send the message airmail.
Obama Forgets This at His Peril
[High Praise! to Gunslinger’s Journal]
_______________
There is a story, a joke in some ways, an allegory in others, that dates way back. In it, a British Lord travels to the Frontier West, America in the 1800’s. His horse throws a shoe on the trail, so at the first little frontier town he comes to, he finds a blacksmith’s shop to have the shoe replaced. As he rides up, he sees a large, sweaty, filthy man hammering on a piece of red-hot iron. The Lord sits on his horse, waiting to be served, but the blacksmith doesn’t pay him any attention and continues to work his iron. Finally, the Lord, outraged to have been ignored this way by an obvious servant, dismounts, approaches the ‘smith, and taps the man on the shoulder with his riding crop.
“You, man!” he barks, “Who is your Master! I wish to have a word with him!”
The blacksmith turns, looks at the Englishman, spits a stream of tobacco juice on the point of the Lord’s boot and says,
“That sumbitch ain’t been born.”
That’s one idea Americans share.
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IMAO PodCast Rewind
The Devastating Sequester
So now a number of people are thinking Obama cried wolf on the sequester and hurt himself. Obama was hyping devastating effects of the sequester like people getting laid off, criminals being released, and essential services being ended, but that was all straight out lies and so far the only way he’s been able to make the public feel it is to save $18,000 a week by canceling White House tours (but he’s still keeping his $277,000 worth of calligraphers).
You know, this sequester doesn’t seem like the optimal way to do cuts, but perhaps it’s the only way to do any cuts while we have a dishonest nitwit in office. What a great idea it was; I wonder who thought of it? Oh yeah, Obama. Good work, dummy.
Straight Line of the Day: Kim Jong Un Threatened to Attack South Korea. President Obama…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Kim Jong Un threatened to attack South Korea. President Obama…
Rand Paul Objects to Being Blown Up
Well, the title isn’t completely accurate. Rand Paul just wants some well-defined parameters in which he could be blown up… or at least a trial. Like he mentioned Jane Fonda — it would have been wrong in Vietnam to send a drone in (if we had them back then) and blow her up. First, we’d need to try her for treason and then we could blow her up right and proper. Boom!
Simple thing, but will Obama say he won’t blow up an American on U.S. soil without a trial? He says, “Probably not.” And what else do you want from him? Clearly defined terms in which he would declare himself judge, jury, and executioner? Come on people; he’s giving you free birth control. It’s then little to ask that he can just blow you up whenever he feels like it.
Well, apparently Rand Paul disagreed so he conducted a filibuster — an actual one with talking and stuff like you see in movies. And it made the Democrats very uncomfortable as they used to freak out at Bush for much less than the power Obama is consolidating for himself. I mean, did people really take all their civil liberties talk seriously? Democrats don’t actually have coherent political views beyond that they and people they agree with should be in power and able to do whatever they want. And what’s best for everyone is that we just shut up and trust them.
This is all just people making a big deal out of nothing. I’m sure Obama will be as responsible with his drone strikes as he is with our nation’s finances.
Cartoon of the Day – Sulfur
Random Thoughts: Filibuster!
Everyone makes fun of low-information voters, but I bet depression is higher among high-information voters.
We need a new conservative conference that is also a fight club.
Why would a feminist be against gun ownership? I tend to be really sexist except to women holding guns.
Star Wars VII will be two hours of old man Solo yelling at Jawas who walk on his space lawn.
Sounds awful, but it would probably still be the third best Star Wars movie.
No worries with Obama having the ability to kill Americans as long as he’s not some sort of arrogant sociopath.
I hope Obama doesn’t consider a filibuster an “extraordinary circumstance.”
Killing an American is a personal choice that’s no one’s business but that of the president and his drone operator.
Is there any Republican senator who can do a good Jimmy Stewart impression?
“Signature Strikes”? Sounds like moves you unlock in a video game.
If you punch young horses in the face you’re a “filly buster.”
Reid’s ploy of standing up and announcing, “Now let’s pause for these important messages!” didn’t work.
Rand Paul should have punched Harry Reid in the face. You can’t be arrested for a crime until your filibuster has ended.
Spencer Ackerman writes some interesting stuff, but he’ll always be the “plate-glass window guy” to me.
Democrats will get you free birth control in exchange for maybe blowing you up with a drone.
Even though it’s not about him, this filibuster is still scaring and confusing Chuck Hagel.
Let’s finally give Jane Fonda a trial so we can blow her up right and proper.
If I were president and someone disagreed with me that I shouldn’t be able to kill US citizens, I’d blow him up with a drone strike.
I don’t have to even consider the arguments of anyone disagrees with me because they’re all bigots.
Notice how backwards looking today’s left are? “They’re bringing back Jim Crow!” Yeah, we’ll get on that and any new threats from the Kaiser.
We can all agree: If we don’t like a politician, he should have limited power. If we like a politicians, he should have unlimited power.
A pretty large segment of the left don’t have coherent political views beyond “I should be in charge.”
Democrats are 100% for civil rights except when it gets in the way of political power and partisan politics.
Obama when asked whether he’ll kill U.S. citizens on American soil without due process said, “Probably not.” WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM HIM?
Americans only don’t like getting killed by the president because he’s black. #racism