Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The NSA recorded information on 124 billion phone calls in one month. They learned…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The NSA recorded information on 124 billion phone calls in one month. They learned…
what 123,999,999,999 gripes about ObungleCare sound like. (and one “Good Job, Sebe” from Obama)
“What type of underwear are you wearing?” was the most often asked question, usually to one person, ‘can of spam.’
When people say, “I don’t have anything to say.” they’re usually right.
…almost no one says ‘Yessiree Bob.’ anymore.
a lot more people apparently have Tourette Syndrome than previously expected.
The NSA Recorded Information on 124 Billion Phone Calls in One Month. They Learned…
…not to say, “Yeah, I can hear you” every time they listened in.
… how banal most people really are.
… Anonymiss’ top secret cookie recipes.
@2: I see we have a new running gag? (Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
… just how many people really do vote for American Idol.
… that, after verifying with video surveillance, that most people lie when asked “what are you wearing?”
… that for some inexplicable reason, the hottest phone sex occurs in calls placed from Montana.
… 23,543,908 unique knock-knock jokes. None of which are funny.
…nothing.
…at least a few of them are probably not terrorists. Maybe.
…what numbers butts like to call
… That the number-one question repeated most often in a conversation but rarely if ever answered is “y’know what’m saying?”
oops…that was supposed to be:
…at least a few of them are probably not from or to terrorists. Maybe.
… that Anonymiss is one chatty gal. đŸ™‚
…that some people are still trying to use dial up modems with their cell phones to connect to AOL.
…who has running refrigerators
…a lot of people are looking for Amanda Huggenkiss
…that five of them were mine trying to reach Miss Anony about promised cookie deliveries.
…that indecision is crippling the whole world – “Whatcha wanna do?” “I dunno, what you wanna do?” was heard endlessly in 6500 different languages.
@4 – the world is a much poorer place for it!
@21 Yessiree Bob!
There. Feel better? đŸ™‚
..that Jenny’s number wasn’t 867-5309.
… that I like pepperoni pizza on Friday nights.
…that the American people think their government is paranoid.
(You can take your “government” and stick it!)
…that those damned Tea Partyers are everywhere!
…that by the time someone says “To make a long story short,” it’s too late.
…that Frank J. calls the Candy Crush Anonymous helpline at least once a week while he struggles with his addiction.
1. No one ever called Carly Rae Jepsen despite her public plea for attention.
2. The average phone calls lasts 3 minutes 15 seconds.
3. Listening to one month of phone calls takes 1 person 766,742 years.
4. Listening to one month of phone calls in one month takes 167,916,667 people working 40 hour work weeks.
5. 167,916,667 people flush the NSA toilet 1,242,123,290 times in that month.
Conclusion: The NSA is full of the stuff people flush down the toilet.
…that 99% oif the people who called 1-800-318-2596 are still on hold.
**…. Saying ‘I love you’ is not always super-bright or in any way productive. Many times it’s just dumb, when all you want to do is ‘get a little’ from them.
**….that ‘…Dennis, from Windows Help Desk ‘ has thousands of differing voices, all with heavy Indian accents and are really hard to understand…….
…Ernestine is hard to beat for the Employee of the Month. http://youtu.be/k9e3dTOJi0o
… that ‘yes dear’ is the number one most repeated phrase.
…that Jake, from State Farm, really is as hideous as she sounds…
The NSA Recorded Information on 124 Billion Phone Calls in One Month. They Learned…
…that to store all this information, the government will finally have to upgrade their IBM 727 tape drives
…Michelle is secretly orders Dominoes Pizza
…that you really can grow tomatoes upside down
…their tracers are causing fires in Utah.
…that Angela Merkel was furious when military strategists determined that Michelle’s butt was that much more of a deterrence than the Maginot Line, called off DC invasion.
…all calls originating from Washington DC are indistinguishable from phone sex, other than costing an average of $90,000,000 a minute.
…after an hour, and it’s always at least an hour of absolute incomprehension on both sides, every phone call Joe Biden makes ends with him being called an idiot. (Siri calls him a lot worse than that).
…the people at the NSA are such nasty pieces of work that when they talk on the phone on their own time they are hunted down and shot by the NSA.
…that it costs far more to log and record all that information than the airtime to generate it…and if enough cell phone users caught on, they could bankrupt the program in about a week without even going over their minutes.
…that the “stop recording” button on the web GUI was coded by the same contractor that did the Obamacare web site.
…the average telemarketing call lasts 8 seconds.
…that their analysis software works great on English, not so great on Arabic.
Exactly how much mustard goes in a great potato salad.
…that the NRA recorded 124 billion rounds of ammo were spent last month by guys testing their gun sights.
…black women make 123 billion phone calls. A day. To the same six women.
The NSA Recorded Information on 124 Billion Phone Calls in One Month. They learned…
…that there is no unemployment in the telemarketing business sector.
…that there is a whole lot more phone calls they did not intercept.
…to transfer their 401(k) and pension money to the telecoms.
… the average Heart Rate, Blood Pressure and level of pain of every citizen over fifty.
…what it’s like to be DDOS hacked.
…just because Biden is alone in a room talking with a bluetooth device in his ear doesn’t mean there’s anyone on the line with him.
…too many people are making personal calls during business hours and should stop.
There is no intelligent life here.
that 123 billion phone calls wont start a fire.
… With all the G4 networks, the most common opening is “You will never guess where I’m calling from!”
… That people do know about the NSA scandal, and also the meaning of the word “trolling”.
… That calls to the Obamacare hotline are frequently followed by calls to the Assisted suicide hotline.
… That whoever thought of putting walnuts in chocolate chip cookies works at Pizza Hut now, and seems to be in charge of putting pineapple on bacon pizzas.
… That there is a lot of dark chatter about something called a ‘church picnic’.
. . . the last four digits of everybody’s social security number
. . . that your call is very important to us, please hold
. . . that if he had lived Mozart would have been rich from the royalties on the “On Hold” music
. . . that Anonymiss mulches her garden with both walnut shells and the walnuts themselves
The NSA Recorded Information on 124 Billion Phone Calls in One Month. They Learned…
… that it takes much longer than 15 minutes to save 15% with GEICO.
… that most Biden supporters – including Joe Biden – will be voting for Hillary in 2016.
… there ain’t no education problem in America ’cause we gots good grammar.
… that Chinese hacked our strategy for nuking the Moon and have made it the primary goal of their next Five Year Plan.
… that AnonyMiss makes really great cookies (at least that’s what the chatter indicates, since they haven’t any personal experience in this matter.)
… that Reid and Pelosi will be the first ones with their backs to the wall when the revolution comes.
… that 53% of us are peaceful, God-fearing, law-abiding folk who take responsibility for our actions and have dreams of a better future for our children – and for some reason this really pisses off liberals.
…that “That there is a lot of dark chatter about something called a church picnic” (#49) is waaayyyyy to funny for just one cookie.
…Obama is clinically insane for requiring the recording of information on 124 billion phone calls in one month.
…sending hard copies of them for FOI requests leads to toilet paper shortages in Venezuela.
…black people as a whole are under the impression that all white people are members of the band Cracker. And really hate eating Peanut Butter Nabs.
The NSA Recorded Information on 124 Billion Phone Calls in One Month. They Learned…
…that Biden calls Buckingham Palace at least once a week to ask if they have Prince Albert in a can.
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