Straight Line of the Day: The Guardian Says It’s Only Published 1% of Snowden’s Secret Files. The Other 99% Reveal…

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Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The Guardian says it’s only published 1% of Snowden’s secret files. The other 99% reveal…

42 Comments

  5. …fear, surprise, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope…

    …the government REALLY doesn’t know what it’s doing.

    …the secret recipes for KFC and Coke.

    …a little something called “The Anonymiss Files”.

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  7. The Other 99% Reveal…

    … the plans for a government-designed unicorn (a.k.a. a hippo).
    … commercials for oxiclean, snuggies, chia pets, and those goofy stretchie animal exercise thingies my five-year-old won’t shut-up about.
    … end-of-file markers, used as filler.
    … a functional version of Obamacare website code.

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  16. The Guardian says it’s only published 1% of Snowden’s secret files. The other 99% reveal…

    the truth behind Chris Matthews leg tingles.

    the deep programmed instructions in Obama’s brain from his handlers in North Korea.

    the plans to have the letter “M” stricken from the English Language.

    Hillary Clinton’s true gender.

    that besides dog, Obama also likes…Humans.

    Reply to this comment

  28. . . . the strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue [which will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous … ]

    Judge: Mr Bartlett, your client has already pleaded guilty to the parking offence.

    Counsel: Parking offence, schmarking offence, m’lud. We must leave no stone unturned. Call Cardinal Richelieu.

    Reply to this comment

  37. …a partial list of the US government’s secret file security weaknesses.

    …that using half of the NSA’s budget to monitor Sandy Berger’s pants actually is a good expenditure of resources.

    …Joe Biden’s dietary fiber diary is very detailed.

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  41. … exactly how effectively the press is doing its supposed job.

    [boldface mine]

    Caught in Yet Another Lie, Obama Forced to Admit He Lived With His Illegal Alien Uncle
    Top Right News | 12-05-2013 | John Urban

    Yesterday, we reported on how Barack Obama’s drunken illegal alien Uncle Omar was handed amnesty by a corrupt immigration judge working for Eric Holder. Obama promised his uncle would get not special treatment.

    If you believe that, you might have believed what Obama claimed in 2011 — that he never even met his uncle!

    That’s right — two years ago, right after Uncle Omar, a 21-year fugitive from a Federal deportation order, was arrested for DUI in Boston — the White House claimed Obama had never met Uncle Omar, nor knew he was an illegal alien.

    The problem? Uncle Omar himself testified under oath before the judge that not only had he indeed met his nephew, but that Barack stayed with Omar for nearly a month in the late 1980s while a student at Harvard, and visited him regularly until he graduated from the law school. Uncle Omar’s landlord backed up this testimony.

    Oops! Busted in yet another lie.

    So today, Obama finally came clean and admitted that he had indeed stayed with his criminal alien uncle “for a brief period of time” in Omar’s apartment in Boston:

    “The president did stay with him for a brief period of time until his apartment was ready,” White House spokesman Eric Schultz said in a statement. “After that, they saw each other once every few months, but after law school they fell out of touch.”

    So where was the media in the past 2 years to interview Omar or his landlord or neighbors to check up on Obama’s lie? MIA, as usual, as they were with telling Americans about Bill Ayers…

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  42. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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