I was recently thinking: What’s a succinct secular term for the founder of Islam? You can’t just call him “Muhammad” because there’s like a jillion people named that now so one can’t be sure you’re referring to the founder of Islam Muhammad. And I’m not going to call him “The Prophet Muhammad” because I don’t think he’s a prophet. And I’m not going to put (pbuh) after his name because I don’t care if peace is on him (he’s dead).
Here’s my idea: Muhammad Prime. Makes sense since he’s the reason there are so many people are named Muhammad today. Also, it’s not insulting to Islam; in fact, it sounds kind of cool because it makes you think of Optimus Prime. I guess Muhammadtron would also be kind of cool, but it makes less sense and implies he’s a villain.
Anyway, just my idea.
I manage to get by with just saying The Prophet Muhammad.
“The Big Mu”
Muhammad 1.0
Shirley.
“What Do You Call the Founder of Islam?”
Late for dinner, we are serving Pork Chops.
i wouldn’t call him. i wouldn’t even send him an email.
The only thing I can think of is NSFW.
Hows about “Mo incestuous pedophile”
I was thinking “Proto-Muhammad” sounds too long so I would go with
ProtoMoto.
Muhammad the Butcher of Khaybar.
Mohammad came home one day and one of his wives was packing her clothes.
He said “You can’t leave me! I paid seven camels for you. Plus three goats!”
She said “I don’t care. I think you are a pedophile.”
Pedophile! ? That’s a pretty big word for an eight year old!
Porky – you know, like calling a bald guy “Curley”
WHAT DO YOU CALL THE PROPHET MOHAMMAD????THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY?????UGH!!!!!YEAH RIGHT!!!!!THIS IS MORE VILE UGLY HATEFUL BIGOTRY AGAINST A RELIGION OF PEACE!!!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!!UGH!!!!!YOU BIGOTS!!!WHERE IS YOUR RESPECT AND TOLERANCE FOR THE BELIEFS OF OTHERS HUH???CALLING A RELIGIOUS LEADER A PEDOPHILE IS NOT SHOWING THAT PERSON RESPECT!!!!YOU DISRESPECT A PERSON OF COLOR WITH THIS!!!NOW HES CRIPPLED WITH PARKINSONS DISEASE AND CANT TALK!!!! YEAH HE CHANGED HIS NAME AND RELIGION AND THEY STOPPED HIM FROM BOXING (UGH VIOLENCE UGH!!!) BUT HE CAME BACK AND BECAME A MIGHTY MAN OF PEACE!!!!!SO JUST SHUT UP AND START SHOWING RESPECT FOR THIS HISTORIC AFRICAN AMERICAN HERO!!!
OH HEY WINGNUTS MOHAMMAD DIDNT START THE NATION OF ISLAM HE JUST JOINED IT BACK IN 1968!!!!DUH!!!DUH!!!DUH!!!TALK ABOUT DUMB!!!GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT WINGNUTS!!!
Sorry, Janeane, he did in fact “marry” a child of 8.
WIKIPEDIA SAYS MOHAMMAD WAS MARRIED FOUR TIMES AND NONE OF THEM WERE UNDERAGE!!!SO THERE BUBBA!!!DEAL WITH IT!!!!!ALL OF THEM JOINED THE NATION OF ISLAM!!!JEEZE THESE PEOPLE JUST CANT GET THE DETAILS RIGHT!!!HA!!!!!
Bwahahahahaha!
Doesn’t matter if Janeane is serious or sarcastic- it’s funny either way!
How many people here think JG is talking about Cassius Clay, AKA Muhammad Ali?
asshat?
I have never been comfortable citing Wikipedia as a source, but since you did, I suppose it is OK.
You need to look under “Aisha”, the child’s name.
To quote Wikipedia:
“Traditional sources state that Aisha was married to Muhammad at the age of six, but she stayed in her parents’ home until the age of nine, when the marriage was consummated with Muhammad, then 53, in Medina;[8][9][10] with the exception of al-Tabari who records that she was ten years old.[11]”
To paraphrase Truman: I don’t have to lie in order to insult Islam, I just tell the truth and they think it is an insult.
In the future when I tell the story, I will correct the age to nine.
Dead.
#18 – Walruskkkch,
It took me a minute, but I finally followed the clues to that conclusion!
From now on, I’ll study JG’s rants more closely for more hidden snark.
Bacon!
@13: I give that an 8. Great job!
(Judge, lest ye be judged not.)
@17: and therein lies the clue.
.
Name suggestions,
Bomber McKiddieboom
Pedo von Fatwaknuckle
Meccatron
Mu-wa-ha-hahammad
Funky Cold Medina-Boy
Fatwa Albert
The Panty-Christ
The Mahatema
Mr. “Come C4 Yourself”
Big Chief Shakes-Fist-At-Jews
Comrade Pissant #1
Sharia leBouef (sp?)
Pbuh! Pbuh! (Coughs up hairball)
… um, should I not open any packages for awhile? Or am I safe because that death cult fatwas IMAO?
Uncool and the Gang
Mooooo!
Ham???
Med???
New COKE (Convert Or Kill ‘Em)
The Beheadinator
Pope Kryptonite
Halalrider