35 Comments

  1. …are letting the Central Valley die, because who needs food anyway…

    …are putting their money into Gov. Jerry’s choo-choo to nowhere, just because.

    …are using real rocks in all “on-the-rocks” beverages.

    …are beginning to forego showering(stinking liberals!)

  2. In order to conserve water during the drought, Californians…

    have been enjoined by state law from perspiring.

    cut back the water ration to their Mexican gardeners.

    hot tub scenes deleted from all porn movies.

    private golf courses watered only every other day.

    bring their tea cup chihuahuas in for bathing and grooming only 3 times a week.

    switched from Evian to Perrier.

  3. In order to conserve water during the drought, Californians…

    … are stealing their fire water in Baltimore.

    … asked Elizabeth Warren to do a rain dance.

    … asked their insane legislature to outlaw deserts, hot weather, baths, showers and thirst.

    … are using green spray paint on their lawns.

  4. In order to conserve water during the drought, Californians…

    have started a “shower with a friend” program

    have started a “family bath night” protocol, tub only being filled once…. (don’t throw the baby out with the bath water)

    have developed a less water dependent bud

    have instructed all homeless to bath under the SF city hall heating system drains…. (hypocracy)

  5. In order to conserve water during the drought, Californians…

    have discovered that they live in an area which may be climatically returning to it’s normal “Dry” condition after an unusual period of wetter weather so any conservation of water they undertake may ultimately be immaterial against the forces of nature and nature’s God.

  6. . . . have decided to enforce the state and federal Constitutions, and all immigration laws, exactly as written, and water the fields with the consequent flood of liberal tears.

  7. …will let their homeless people bathe only enough to not smell like hippies.

    …have to undergo the freeze dry and leather tanning procedure that Pelosi did.

    …will ban Susan Sarandon friendly performance art shows. And for good measure all body fluid exchanges will be limited to 9.5 cc.

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