The new battleground state polls are a good reminder that just because Trump’s a dumpster fire doesn’t mean he’s a worse choice than Hillary.

My wife and I made sure we’re on the same Pokemon team because we don’t need that kind of marriage trouble.

I don’t care what members of the Supreme Court do. No particular way of behaving will stop them from being a bunch of clowns.

“Before we continue our list of individual rights, we’re going to take a break to talk about government run militias.” — This is an actual understanding of the Bill of Rights by some sitting Supreme Court Justices.

Here’s what won’t solve the big problems in our country:
1. Electing a particular politician
2. Enacting a particular law

If you vote for either Trump or Hillary, I’ll think you’re a horrible person. But I’ll kinda understand given who you were voting against.

Future generations will be baffled that we elected Trump, but then they’ll see the video of Hillary’s Pokemon Go joke and understand.

Pence seems like a boring choice. I was hoping for more Trump craziness.

One of the most important things when developing a video game is making sure it has a bat enemy in it that is both numerous and annoying.

Mature Programmer Frank has tried and failed to solve the problem. I’m handing it over to Hacker Frank. Hacker Frank doesn’t play by the rules, but, dammit, he gets the job done.

Hacker Frank, you magnificent bastard, you did it! You got it working! Now let’s just hope no one looks under the hood…

I want to take the kids to the park, but I can’t log in to Pokemon Go.

When listen to music in the car, it’s fun to tell my kids that whenever a song says “baby” they’re singing about actual babies.
“You’re no good.
You’re no good.
You’re no good.
Baby, you’re no good.”
That song got my daughter so mad.

My baby daughter attempted a coo.

Oy. Hillary still doing the old playbook of Pence being an extremist everyone should be scared of. Maybe she’ll add a Pokemon reference.

“Pence is just as extreme as Trump!” No he isn’t. Does Hillary really plan to win with the exact same dishonest nonsense as usual?

The problem is they’ve always called every Republican extreme. It’s left them with nothing to describe Trump as something new.

I hate clamshell packaging. When they encased Han Solo in carbonite, they at least designed a way to easily open it.

I think I felt more sorry for Hillary Clinton watching her deliver that Pokemon Go joke than I did during the whole Monica Lewinsky thing.

Why aren’t guns central to feminism? It’s an invention that equalizes the physical threat of men and women.
I need someone to womansplain this to me.

Hillary gets to be both a trailblazer as the first woman president and the most cynically status quo candidate of all time.

With the underwhelming opening weekend box office for the new Ghostbusters, I think we can safely say that’s the end of feminism.

If you didn’t watch the news, you’d be fooled into thinking we live in a peaceful, prosperous time.

Things done to save me time that just annoy me:
* Kindle books not opening to the cover.
* Netflix skipping the opening song of TV episodes.

I was really hoping Trump’s VP choice was going to be the transformer Starscream.

At the RNC, the ghost of Lincoln attempted to kill Trump, but it was dissipated when Trump supporters kept yelling “Cuck!” at it.

I can’t pretend to care about Melania plagiarizing some Michelle Obama speech no one remember. This entire election is already a clown show.

Had to use the chip reader with my debit card for the first time. Now I know how my mom feels with everything tech.

I don’t even get the point of a new chip on debit cards when most of my transactions are online where it’s completely irrelevant.

Say all the bad things you want about the RNC – they deserve it – but don’t act like it’s over the line to say Hillary should be locked up.